Post # 1
I’m sure my mom will be excited (she knows we are ttc) but I’m fairly certain my dad will tell me I’m ruining my life. He told me, on multiple occasions, that my sibling and I were huge mistakes and that he hated having us around. It wasn’t in an angry tone, it just came up in conversation. One time was when I said Darling Husband and I were planning to have children someday. He was just like “No, don’t, they ruin your life. You and J were just awful.” No anger, no joking tone. Just a fact. So I’m nervous about telling him. LO was planned and we are super thrilled but this just scares me a little.
He and my mom are still married (she knows exactly how he feels about kids) so hopefully she will run interference.
Post # 3
OMG I am sorry but that just broke my heart. I could never tell my child they were mistakes. I am sorry but if you ask me, I wouldnt care what he thinks since he thinks you are a mistake. Sorry if I am being harsh.
Post # 4
What a charming fellow, your father.
I have no advice other than to say – does it matter what he thinks?
Post # 5
Afraid to tell my best friend. She has been trying to have a baby for 8 years. It breaks my heart and I feel really bad about it. Hopefully your Dad will be understanding and happy, some people just don’t show their emotions, doesn’t mean they don’t love or are not happy. GL.
Post # 6
I hear you. There are some people that would judge us for certain reasons. Sadly they are close family/friends. But its the right time for Darling Husband and I and thats all that matters. By the way, I could totally picture my Father-In-Law coming out with a statement like your father and he would not see an issue with it at all!
Post # 7
I just don’t want him to tell me LO is a mistake. He can think whatever he wants, I’m just nervous about what he will say.
And part of it is because I had an amazing relationship with my grandpa and I miss him so much. In a perfect world, LO would have that with my dad (the only grandpa LO will have). I just don’t see that happening though.
Post # 8
@LuluH: thats definitely hard. I know I was super jealous of others before I got pregnant, even though I was happy for them, I was really sad for me. I hope it goes well 🙂
Post # 9
We started TTC a month before we originally planned because, ya know- it never works the first time… O.o
Well, it did for us! YAY! So we told my parents/step parents and my grandma- they were all over the moon! They cried with joy and couldn’t have been happier!
His parents, however, were luke warm at best. It was 3 weeks before we got married, so the timing of it shocked them more than anything. They have since come around a little bit, slowly but surely.
I wouldn’t worry about what he thinks. You will love your child and what other people say doesn’t matter 🙂
Post # 10
@apex: You and I are both young, so you know my fears about telling people (someday when it happens for us). I’m very scared about the judgement we will get =/
My father has said similar things to me… I dunno, I’ve just accepted that fact and just kind of written it off. I hope your mom will intervene as well! It would be sad to have a damper in this happy time =)
Post # 11
I wouldn’t say I’m worried about telling anyone. But I’m not particularly looking forward to telling some of our friends who are CBC. I’m afraid they’ll judge us and think we’re making a mistake (I don’t judge them for being CBC!). But then again, we don’t hang out with them much anymore so it doesn’t matter a whole lot.
Post # 12
@ChuckNorris: Yeah, there will definitely be some tongues wagging about me being 22. But l hope they realize Darling Husband being 33 in a few months means we couldn’t wait forever.
Post # 13
To be honest, I’d be most worried about telling people at work because I don’t want to have to discuss it daily! And hear all the snarky comments.
Post # 14
I’m TERRIFIED to tell my parents. I know his parents will be thrilled, as will our friends. My parents I know are going to think we should wait (uh, we are 31). They will think we are underprepared financially (we have savings of about 6k, not great but not poverty level, and no debt car, student loan or cc).
I think my parents have a hard time realizing I am an adult and that life is more expensive and tougher than when they were starting out. We did not tell them we were getting engaged ahead of time because I did not want them telling me we should wait until I finish my PhD at age 33 (seriously?). And they were very shocked and surprised and hurt that we didn’t mention our plans to them. But they were supportive of our getting married.
My parents are WIERD. And the whole thing is going to be soooo uncomfortable. They will either freak out if we tell them we are planning to be TTC (which I really dont think is even their business), or freak out that we suprise them with the news. I joke we should have a baby and just hide it, haha.
Post # 15
My parents were both teenagers when they had me, and they’ve joked about being too young to be grandparents, so I’m a little worried about how they are going to take it at first. I think they’ll be excited once they wrap their heads around it though.
Post # 16
Yep, I’m terrified to tell my mom when I get pregnant. I don’t think she will be happy for me at all. She is one of those people who thrives on others’ misery and hates it when her children are happy. I’ve tried to drop hints that we are trying, but if she understood, she ignored them. I’m really worried that my LO won’t have a good relationship with my mom, and since my Mother-In-Law + Father-In-Law are in awful health, she might be the only grandma my LO has around! Defintiely a huge fear of mine!!