Post # 1
Are your bridemaids your friends? I admit to being envious of women who have so many friends/bridemaids. I only have 1 best/geniune galpal that I would want by my side at my wedding. The rest of the women in my life are social acquantences at best. I have no sisters, I am not close to my SIL at all, and I am not close to my female cousins and aunts. I didn’t really have a social group of friends in high school and, unfortunately, the few galpal friendships that I had in college didn’t survive after graduation…in each situation, there was some type of falling out due to people changing and no longer having a ”common ground” so to speak.
I have a social acquantence who got married last year and who has attend 4 weddings so far this year. She posted pictures from each wedding she attended as well as her own. In all the weddings, the bride had at least 5 bridemaids (one bride had 10!). It must be so wonderful to be so loved and popular that a woman has so good/close galpals to be her bridemaids.
I guess I feel like a bit of a loser or reject for not having more strong/geniune female friendships in my life. I can’t help but feel like there is something wrong with me for not having more best galpals or good galpals in my life to even consider as potential bridesmaids. I am grateful to have 1 best gal friend….I know some people in life can’t even say that they have at least 1 best friend.
I’m rambling. I guess the point of this post is to ask…for those of you that have many galpals/bridemaids…how do you develop and/or continue to have so many women friends that care enough to invest their time and energy to your wedding?
Post # 3
What about kids? Having kids helping you with some things, and friends, thAt you think they are or can get a little closer to you. One important point is, if you dont feel confortable talking or being with around some of these female friends or family, dot ask them to be bridesmaids because it will be a nightmare.
Post # 4
quality over quantity!! you’re right, having 1 truly great galpal does make you a lucky woman, because 1 wonderful best friend is way better than a dozen pretty good friends. and don’t be fooled by some of those girls with giant bridal parties….i was a part of a huge BP once and it wasn’t because the bride and i were best friends….or even close to it 🙁
i don’t have any female relatives either. i’ll have 4 women standing up with me, one is a family friend who i grew up with, one is a friend since elementary school, one is my best friend from high school, and the fourth is a good friend from college who i lived with for several years post-college and has become good friends with FI as well.
Post # 5
I’m sure there’s nothing wrong with you! Honestly, most of my female friends have just come into my life by chance. With the exception of my best friend (whom I met many years ago, in 3rd grade – neither of us have changed personality-wise at all, surprisingly!), there was nothing I did or didn’t do to attract them into my life. Most of them I met through my girlfriend or brother, to be honest, and we just hit it off. I’m also lucky to have a lot of women in my family. My mom has five sisters, and those five sisters have produced six female cousins, all of whom I’m close to or at the very least on good terms with. It was just luck!
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with just having one good pal, and in fact that was my situation for a long time. It’s better to have a couple of great friends who’d stand by you no matter what than a lot of acquaintances who don’t care about you one way or another, right? 🙂
Post # 6
I agree with PB and J. It is all about quality over quantity. It will be just as special as if you had 10 girls up there with you. If I didn’t have a bunch of sisters, I would only have 1 friend up there with me!
Post # 7
I have no really close girl friends. My sister is my MOH because she is my best friend. I am having a bridesman, obviously a guy, and I only asked my SIL because my FI asked me too.
I think it’s normal for some woman to not be that close to other woman. I have friends, but no “BFF’s” as others would call it. Sometimes I as well am envious of those that do.
Post # 8
I am not too close with my future SIL either, but I am having her as a bridesmaid. I think it will be a fun bonding experience and one day when we are closer, I will be happy she was apart of that day!
I also agree with the other posters, having a true best friend standing up there with you will make up for the number, it will be amazing either way! 🙂
Post # 9
Just remember that everyone is different and often bridesmaids seem to be the cause of too much drama.
I luckily have 3 awesome best girlfriends that were my BMs (2 from highschool and 1 from university). I do understand how challenging it is to meet good girlfriends though. Because my girls all live far away from me 🙁 I would love to meet some local girls that I really click with but it just hasn’t happened! And most girls I meet I know within the first 10 minutes whether or not I can have a deep relationship with them or not!
I wouldn’t worry too much about your wedding party though. Have the people you love stand up there with you and nothing else will matter!
Post # 10
I’ve always wondered that about myself too. I’m not very social and can count on one hand all of my female friends. My SO is my best friend and has been for many years, but clearly he can’t be my MOH since he’ll be the hubby. I will have my two close female friends as my bridesmaids (when SO officially proposes). Your wedding should be special and those people who are special to you should take part.
I don’t think that answered your question very well, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone in this situation.
Do you have guy friends that you are close to? In the wedding I was in last year, the groom had mostly female friends and his Best Man was actually the “Best Lady.”
Post # 11
I had two close friends from college, my best friend from high school, and my sister-in-law. My sister-in-law and I aren’t close but it was a gesture. However, during the wedding process I felt like I grew very distanced from my friend from high school. She didn’t come to my bridal shower, almost wasn’t going to come to the rehearsal, and ignored any of my other BMs attempts to speak with her about wedding related things. I’m still not sure what happened and she won’t talk to me about it.
Post # 12
Don’t worry about the number! I think that having 2590238502385238 people in your wedding party loses some of the specialness, and it’s really most important that the people you include (or person) are/is people who are special and important to you.
I have two younger sisters who are going to be bridesmaids, plus my best friend (we’ve been friends since 7th grade) and my friend from college who I moved to NYC with. They were all people I feel like, needed to be included. Really though, beyond them I think it would be a stretch to have anyone else. And, honeslty if it wasn’t for my sisters, I would have just the two friends.
But, yeah, I’d say stick with people you feel supported by. The 4 people I chose are all people I trust and I know can support me in different ways. Otherwise, I don’t think I woiuld have asked them. 🙂
Post # 13
I totally agree with quality or quantity! For example, my fiance has 7 guys he chose as groomsmen and I chose 6. I was debating having another friend but realized that my group of 6 are my closest friends and I shouldn’t just add someone to have an even number. 2 of my bridesmaids are family, my maid of honor is my best friend from age 2, and the other 3 are close friends from college, a friend I knew since she was born (she’s a couple years younger, and a friend a met at work).
The most important thing is that you have people who you will remain friends with forever! Don’t stress about numbers, I’m not and mine are uneven 🙂
Post # 14
@NATO: I feel the same way sometimes. I also am really bad at maintaining friendships, so friends I had in the past, I’m no longer close with. I have one best friend who’s been my friend since 4th grade, so she’s my BM. The two other girls – one’s from college, and one is from high school (family friend’s daughter), and I also asked my cousin because we are the only girls and she’s close to my age…
Having one BM is fine; no one is going to judge you for having one instead of ten.
Post # 15
I have friends and family (mostly family/ church members).
ETA: I was feeling disappointed at one point because as we became closer to getting engaged I realized that some of the girls that I felt would be in my wedding were no longer my friends. But sure enough I picked 3 girls that I am closest to that I could depend on and the rest are cousins/FSIL. It was a great desicion and I don’t regret it.
Post # 16
My bridesmaids are my 3 best friends. My MOH befriended me on the first day of 6th grade when I moved here and I met my 2 bridesmaids in Junior High. We are all very close. I dont have any sisters and I’m not a huge fan of my FSIL so my girls were the obvious choice.