(Closed) Are your family and FI's family close?

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: What is the relationship like between your family and his family?
    They are close : (20 votes)
    12 %
    They have met but dont keep in touch : (103 votes)
    60 %
    They do not like eachother : (8 votes)
    5 %
    They have never met : (36 votes)
    21 %
    Other : (6 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    FI’s parents have met my mom a couple times but that’s it. They don’t hang out or call each other to talk or anything. There’s also a 20+ year age difference between his parents and mine, so I think they just don’t have much in common to talk about.

    Post # 4
    Member
    9234 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

    My mom and his mom are really good friends and used to work together.  They live in different states now but see each other once or twice a year.  They are SO excited to be “related” – it’s really cute.  Our dads are super different and aren’t “friends”, but they get along fine.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    My dad is definitely not close with my in-laws. They’ve seen each other (and met, obviously), but they wouldn’t recognize each other at the grocery store.

    Personally, I’m fine with this. Sure, it’d be great to have one holiday celebration, but we’re fine splitting holidays.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2686 posts
    Sugar bee

    Our families are friendly but don’t really keep in touch.  My FI’s family lives about 6 hours away, and my own family lives about 30 minutes from us, so there aren’t a lot of opportunities for them to meet.  It works out ok for us; everyone is friendly and there hasn’t been any drama (*knock on wood*).  

    Post # 7
    Member
    641 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Our parents have met a few times, which is funny since we’ve been together since our freshman year of high school (8 years). Overall, while my parents and DH’s mom don’t speak or see each other often, they have a good relationship and get along well. It’s a different story with DH’s dad and stepmom though, who were very difficult to deal with when we first got engaged (they believed we were too young and “refused” to see us married before DH graduated with his bachelors). I think my parents lost all respect for them when this was going on, mostly because they could see it was really hurting me. I will say that they all “get along” as best as possible when together (none of them wish to create drama), but there is always tension.

    It bothers me (more so in the past than now), because I had always imagined that my family and DH’s would be close, and more importantly that I would be close to DH’s family. I’m glad that my family and I have formed a close relationship with DH’s mom, but I still wish that closeness could exist with his dad and stepmom. They are just very hard to get to know, and aren’t the warmest of people. We are trying to bridge this. My greatest hope is that this gap will be filled when DH and I start a family, as I want our children to be close with both my family and DH’s.

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    4465 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I chose they have met but don’t keep in touch, but I guess there’s a little bit of they have met and don’t like each other. When we were planning the wedding there was definitely some drama, so that’s why they partially don’t like each other. A lot of times they will text each other before a holiday, and there were congratulations texts sent when my mom and mother in law got engaged and when my father in law got married. Apparently my dad sometimes talks to my mother in law and her brother online, but I don’t really know much about how in contact they are. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    5273 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    They have only met each other twice (before the wedding, and then at the actual wedding.) 

    Our parents are VERY different, so it is best to keep family functions seperate. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @MrsCreeToBe:  Hmm…my parents have had FI’s mom over for dinner before and they talk and joke around whenever they see each other. They definitely like each other, but I wouldn’t call them close. Actually FMIL once told me that she feels like she has to be on her best behavior when she’s with my parents. FI’s family is a little more blue-collar (not trying to be rude, but I can’t think of a better term!) than my family. They are also a lot more crude, while my family is very proper. The only time I’ve ever really seen inlaws be close to each other is with my friend’s family. It doesn’t seem to be the norm unless they were already friends beforehand.

    Post # 11
    Member
    8697 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    They have never met. My FI is in the military and stationed across the country. I am in NJ and they are in Virginia. There is also a 10+ age difference btw my

    parents and his immediate family. Also, there is a big difference in demographics/morals/etc. His family has a whole lot going on that I’m sure my family wouldnt agree with.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Growing up all my parent’s in laws were close, at my first communion we invited my uncle’s wife’s mother, and her sister, they were all also invited to my brother’s wedding.  My SIL’s sisters & their kids were invited to parties at our house growing up too.  I think living close by helps facilitate that kind of thing, that and if you all get along.  

    My Dad & MIL love each other and get along great, but they won’t be close because of the distance that we live from my Dad. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee

    They’ve not met. I think I get along better with SO’s family than my own sometimes. My parents are couch potatoes and I am an only child, so we just don’t have a lot of common ground. SO’s family likes to travel, and his mom has a master’s degree so we have things to talk about. Our dads both like sports, carpentry, and are stoic not talk about their feelings man types, so they might have some things to talk (or not) about. Our moms are so completely different that we both feel like it’s going to be very awkwardly funny when they meet.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3830 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    They have met. Our dads are very similar and get along.  Our moms are polar opposites. They get along but dont keep in touch. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    242 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Ours have met.  Fiance and I try to have get togethers often so they can be friends, but they live in different cities so its not likely they will become best friends.  Fiance’s parents are divorced so my parents try to invite his mother to our house for holidays and such since she never remarried and fiance is an only child. 

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    2493 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I wouldn’t say they’re really ‘close’, but my Dad spends holidays with us/DH’s family, and they get along really well. They never call each other up to talk or anything… but, my Dad and MIL are friends on Facebook, lol.

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