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Mine are definitely different. I had a single mom who worked multiple jobs to make sure we went to the best schools. His mom worked while she was single but quit her job when she remarried (even if the family fiances weren't on the sunny side). It is often hard to put them in the same boat because my mom (who is also 10 years older) seems to be more worldly and his seems to have lived in a bubble. I love them both dearly, but they do not see eye-to-eye on a lot of things (like religion and politics) so I try to find ways to keep them on different topics.
My FI has made comments on how he would rather me be like my mom (independent, smart, hard-working) than his which I have taken as a huge compliment.
Mine are soo different it is ridiculous! They drive me crazy but are like jessie's parents.
His parents and his entire family still think he's a kid and he is living away from home, is in the military (and been deployed), and has his life into check while his two other older siblings live at home, have no future plans, and just nurse off both his parents and get treated more like an adult because they are older by age. It drives me crazy and his father treats me like I'm not going to last and actually told his son to leave me before his first deployment (we're going on three years..). His older brother is able to have whoever sleep over and his parents freaked out when we visited and stayed (and we're engaged).They aren't big on family togetherness unless it means something for them. His family couldn't bother to drive over to tx (so I know, it's far) for Jerome's military graduation. And, my whole family was there (including my aunt and grandma and well, we live farer)
My parents treat us like adults and know we have our life in check. They let us sleep together when we visit without complaint because of this.
Both, both our mothers are cryers...they cried when we got engaged and well, probably cry at our wedding. And, both of our parents would do anything if we needed to help out.
our mom's are pretty much the same exact person, it's scary. they're typical jewish mom's. i got very lucky with the inlaws. our dad's are very different. his dad's more reserved, mine's more on the crazy side. but they're both super sweet and always there for advice.
LITERALLY, the only thing my mom and FMIL have in common is that they were once married to a loud, short, hairy man. My dad died (and my mom now has a boyfriend) and FMIL divorced and is now a lesbian
Mom likes men, FMIL, women.
Mom is fit and healthy, FMIL is overweight and out of shape
Mom doesn't drink, FMIL does like a fish'
Mom won't say a WORD of gossip, FMIL lives by it
Mom is quiet and reserved, FMIL is ALWAYS the center of attention
I'm probably more like FMIL (I'm not fit by any means, I drink and I am more outgoing.) but I respect my mom so much more now since FMIL is so much to deal with (the Gossip alone makes me want to cry... she would sell a child for tomorrow's gossip, I swear! One day you're the goldne child, the next you're being talked about to the rest of the siblings!) She also likes to use the whole "You hate me because I'm GAY" line. We have to be like, "NO, FMIL... you aren't invited to Dad's barbeque because it's DAD'S SIDE OF THE FAMILY." (they are not on good terms whatsoever.) It gets really hard to deal with. I love my Mom. We're all in IN, but my fam is in NJ... I miss her :(
Mine are complete polar opposites of each other. For one thing, there's a huge age difference. My parents are very young and only 50 years old. His parents have already retired and are headed towards 70. My parents live in the suburbs, his parents live in an extremely rural area.
I think the biggest difference I notice is between my mom and MIL. My mom has two girls (my sister and I) and MIL has two boys. So my mom's all into the dress, makeup, hair, DIY stuff and MIL is just so confused. Also my mom is just a really outgoing and talkative person and MIL is pretty shy.
So it's definitely been interesting combining the two families :o)
VERY different. I don't even know where to begin. My parents can be abrasive, showy, and materialistic, yet very generous and sweet. They try hard, really =]. But also tend to try to inadvertently tell us what to do but prefacing it by saying "now i'm not telling you what to do"....They'e also very "look what we have". His family is warm and friendly but blunt like me. They don't feel the need to entertain like mine do so everything is more relaxed. Beer at Christmas! I was shocked. And pleased! It's easier to point out my familys' quirks in comparison to his, but not the other way around. I don't spend a ton of time with his family right now. The biggest difference I see is the financial differences between his family and mine. My family does things a specific way--Christmas and Thanksgiving on real china, big diamonds, etc. And his family has normal food like pasta and whatnot for holidays. I'm still adjusting to a more casual, midwest, homey style of things. They think i'm a freak though b/c i don't like bbq but love sushi. *eye roll*. It gets a little annoying being the one who constantly brings fancy food to the get-togethers (homemade cheesecake, tiramisu, you know, NICE food) and have it not be appreciated because it's not simple.One day I will win!
There are some similarities and some differences. The big picture-they are alike but in the details they are different. My mom-was controlling. His mom-she still fusses over us-calls us to check on us after a bad storm, helped out financially when we were going through really rough period, etc. but lets us live our lives. Both of our dads are pretty quiet and laid back.
My Parents and my FILs are soooooo similar it is scary!!!!
Our mom's are reserved, quiet and very laid back (they were the pushovers that always said YES!)
Our Dad's are VERY opinionated, outgoing and confrontational. So when they are together and talking sports there can be some fireworks 
We have such a similar upbringing it is scary Mr. M is an immigrant himself he moved to Canada From England when he was 7 and my parents are Immigrants that moved to Canada before I was born from a British Colony so I am guessing it is the British values that makes them soooo similar. We have the same values, similar political beliefs and worldly beliefs! We are both a mixture of our parents not one or the other but I am probably more my dad and he is probably more his mom! But I think it is amazing that our families are so similar because they both have treated us like adults for as long as I can remember and we both have GREAT relationships with all of them!
Lol does anyone like their FI's family better than their own sometimes? My mom and I have a tense relationship and I lovvvve my MIL. FI has a great big extended family and they are all fabulous.
Our families are about as different as they come. I lived with my FILs for 2 years and it was like moving to a foreign contry! They just handle things so differently then my parents do. On the upside, it was a great test of my patience. I think we'll make it after all. 
They're similar in that their politics are on the conservative side, but that's where it ends. My parents aren't really social conservatives (they believe in gay marriage, abortion, etc.) where his parents are for sure. We don't really talk politics with them. My parents aren't the hugy-touchy "I love you" variety, where his are. We don't curse in front of his parents, my parents curse like sailors.
they're very different: my parents are a little judgemental and sometimes they tend to be very strict and serious, but my in-laws are really carefree and they're always making jokes... My mom always try to hide her feelings, so not many tears have been shared between us, but my MIL it's very sentimental and she's like always hugging me! so far, it's been a little bit hard to make them spend more time together so they'll bond or something, but we live in diff cities.
%100 different in almost every way, except that they all love my FI and me unconditionally!
Soooo different.
I'm an only child of a single Mom who's only 18 years older than me. He's the baby boy of a typical family, Mom doesn't work, Dad's a teacher.
My Mother couldn't be happier to see me so happy and she LOVES my husband.
His Mother thinks of me as the "bi^#* that took her baby away"
My Mother threw a party for close family and friends for our engagement.
His Mother gave us a book with an inscription from her that started "we fall in love with our Mother's first" ummm...yeah!
My Mother has never metioned any of my ex's because, why would you???
His Mother continues, even after we're married to talk about who he could have married and/or dated.
My Mother is so excited that I get to be an Aunt and spoil my niece and nephew!
His Mother is constantly telling the kids "she can't take your Nana's place"
I'll stop here. To end on a positive...I adore his Father! And all monster in law issues aside, she really does love her son.
@jessie516-do we have the same MIL? Seriously, I think we might! My mom raised me to make my own decisions, but fiance mom works with little kids and you can tell in the way she talks to other people. It's been driving me nuts!
Mine are very, very different. Our moms work in the same profession but they are polar opposites!
MIL is both helpless in some arenas and relies on DH for a ton of help, and other times she seems very controlling. She's intelligent but boisterous. She practically contradicts herself. It's taken me about 3 years to figure out how to interact with her without getting upset.
My mom is also intelligent, but quiet and supportive. I don't tell her how to live her life and she doesn't tell me.
My parents and the FIL's are very different.
My FI's parents are still married and have been so for over 40 years. His dad is very much a blue collar, loud, overly friendly, small town guy. His mom is also very friendly and also has that small town view of the world. His family as a whole is kind of loud and very friendly. Sometimes, a little too friendly.
My parents divorced when I was young. Both have remarried and my step-parents have been a part of my life for 20 years. My dad has the same hard working attitude as my FFIL but is not as loud as the FFIL can be. My mom is a lot like me in that we are both on the shy side, and get embarassed easily. She has never been over bearing.
It has taken some time for me to adjust to the differences but the fact that my FI's family is so friendly has made it very easy to feel accepted. I don't think I would want it any other way.
Our families couldn't be more different.
I come from a very close Italian family. My parents are certainly the type who want to provide anything and everything for their children and family and are very supportive and loving. They are both well educated and my dad is a business owner. They have worked extrememly hard and now have a lot to show for it. Thhey also have much more traditional values and are religious. We are close with our extended family and all pretty much live in the same city. And they (and by they I mean my mom) like to get involved in our business.
His parents are wonderful, loving people, but their family is very different. They aren't as highly educated, they don't make as much money, and they have different political views. They have a lot of money problems and the extended family isn't united and has a history of problems with money, substance abuse, and the law. Also pretty much everyone in his family is divorced whereas pretty much everyone in my family is not.
They are good people and they are so nice to me, but I just find it hard because our values and ideas are so different. I can't relate to their world view. And I just feel like a bratty little snob around them sometimes. I'm really worried that it'll blow up one day since I'm so crappy at not being a loud mouth. Luckily they live 1500 miles away.
To be honest I'd always imagined that I'd marry someone with a family similar to mine.
My mom and my future MIL have the same birthday SAME YEAR! They are both headstrong ladies but SOOO different. I am actually a little worried about how the first interaction might be. Interestingly, both my father and FI's father passed away when we were kids.
Completely different. Maybe it's that my mom is an entire generation younger than fiances mother and father???
Different way different
Mom is outspoken and FMIL is sweet and reserved!
Ugh.. totally different. I can't stand the way his parents are.
My parents were very strict until I turned 18, when they were like, you are now an adult, we're going to treat you like one. I mean, of course since I still live with them, I get the occasional child treatment, but when I talk to them, we're equals. They talk to me like an adult, respect what I have to say, and I don't have to hide who I am with them. They also just let me do what I do, and don't give their two cents unless I ask.
His parents.. ugh. They still treat him like he's a little boy. He's 23. He totally cannot be himself around them, and when he does talk to them, it's like he's talking to someone about business, not telling your parents about your day. His dad doesn't show any emotion and to me, seems like a complete prick. His mother, is irritating and always needs to be the center of attention and always right.
His parents are definitely not about family togetherness unless they have something to gain from it, or unless it's a holiday and is needed. My family loves to be together. His family doesn't eat dinner together, mine do every night. His parents make him do ALL the chores because he's the older one, while his little brother sits on his butt all day and gets spoiled. My family, my brother and I don't have chores anymore because we already know what to do and we both pitch in.
I know for a fact this is why our relationship is so stressed at times. He does not like to show emotion and/or open up because he's never been able to do that with his parents. He argues to get his way a lot of the time because his mother treats him like a baby and spoils him, and he's used to having things his way. He expects me to jump when he asks me to do something because that's how it is in his house (military father). He isn't very affectionate, because his family isn't (when he came back on summer break from college and not seeing his dad for months at a time, he got a hand shake. in my family, we give hugs out). He doesn't notice if he doesn't spend time with me a lot because his parents don't. His dad take 2 week business trips about every month, while his mom sits at home and bussies herself. My parents are together everynight, parked in front of the TV watching their favorite shows and enjoying each other's company. Thanks to his father, Mr. thinks that you can do as many extra curricular activities you want on top of work, and then your family comes after that. Nope, wrong in my book!
Different upbringings definitely cause some strain. We're working on it. Ugh.
Mine are so different, it's crazy that FH and I ended up together.
Mine lived on a commune in upstate NY and sent me to school there until 6th grade and now live in an 19th century dilapidated farm house in rural NY.
His parents live in a multi-million dollar mansion in Miami, FL.
That right there is the main difference. My parents are completely anti-materialistic (to an annoying point!) while his are the exact opposite and have nice cars, jewelry, etc.
They are also much more blunt and not reserved at all, while mine tend to take a bit of time to open up.
I'd say the only thing that really have in common is that, on certain days, they ALL drive me crazy! :)
Oops! I forgot to include what they have in common.
Umm.. both our mothers are Filipino and our dads are from the East Coast. That's about it.
His dad has not adapted to Hawaii living at all, whereas my dad is a complete local by everyone's standards. People can't even tell he's from the mainland.
I will stop now before I blow a fuse. Ugh.. his family!!!
Texaslaw- my experience might be similar to yours.
My family is excedingly conservative, my mom is timid, my dad can be explosive... they really care what other people think. They are hard-workers and despite not having the benefit of education have done the best they can for their kids. They instilled a great work ethic and appreciation of education in me. We have a tough relationship.
My in laws are confident, kind, funny, liberal. They are generous beyond belief and are always giving back to the community in one way or another. I've never seen either of them ever lose their tempers or say an unkind word about anyone. I feel privileged to be a part of their family and am stunned at how easy family can be!
I think the only thing our parents have in common is that they like us. Other than that they couldn't be more different...politically, socially, theologically, physically...very, very different. They haven't met yet, and are meeting for the first time in October, I have to admit that i'm very very nervous.
OH. MY. GOSH. Polar opposites like someone else said.
Mom = athiest, FMIL = Mormon
Mom = alcoholic/drug abuser, FMIL = Lets just say Mormon again and that covers it lol
Mom = very social and outgoing, FMIL = very reserved but fun once you get to know her
Mom = Fashionista, all about the high life, FMIL = very sensible and conservative
Mom = diva, FMIL = bordering on Sainthood
The only thing I think they have in common is that they'd both give you the shirt off their backs. Very loving supportive people, and while I'll always love my mom, I also love the differences and consistencies of my FMIL. FMIL is quite possibly the sweetest woman I have ever met.
I guess it kind of works out too, because I am definitely more a combination of the two ladies :)
It's interesting, becuase I am fotunate that I get along with my FMIL even better than my own mother! In a sense, FMIL has a lot of the characteristics that I wish my own mother had.
Mom is:
-overly sentimental (she would cry at an infomercial, for pete's sake)
-extremely sensitive (I had to keep a visit from FMIL a secret because my Mom would have been upset that FMIL got to visit us and she didn't - both FMIL and Mom live across the country from us)
-manipulative at times
-shares very few interests with me (she would be content to simply watch TV most of the time)
-treats me like a kid when I visit
FMIL:
-treats me like an adult
-shares many interests with me (reading, gardening, etc)
-is never manipulative
-is wise and offers great advice without sounding condescending
I love my mom very much, don't get me wrong, but it has been a huge source of comfort to be gaining a mother in law who I respect so much and have so much in common with.
So completely polar opposites. My FMIL and I have had a very difficult relationship in the past, and a lot of that is because she is so different from my family and how I'm used to interacting with people. I've had a really hard time being myself around her...it's only started to get better in the past year or so.
I have a similar relationship with my FIL's, and I have attributed it to something very similar. I moved out of my parents house to go to college at 18, and have not lived there since. My parents are used to me making my own decision without confiding in them, and in general are not involved in the day to day events in my life. My FI was living in his parents house on and off until he was 25. He is one of six, and his parents are very involved in all of their children's daily decisions. They have no problem with constructive criticism on the regular.
I am just not used to being treated like I am 16 anymore, but I guess I will have to deal with it.
SOOOO different! Just...wow...hard to even start explaining that one!!
Different, but distance allows us to enjoy our parents on their turf. Kinda cool, but a little bit sad too-we miss them!
My parents; very liberal, modern, organic gardening and unique ideas about the world, politics and overall life views. They're in SoCal and Dad is an immigrant, served in vietnam, over a decade older than my mom, practically retired and loves his dog. Mom is enjoying being a little bit of a wine driking,gourmet hippie. Both can be found at museum events,the farmers markets, trader joe's or mothers market,and/or tai chi and zumba classes sometimes with the dog.
Dad in law; about 15 years yonger than my dad, beer drinking football loving, chevy driving,calls his wife "baby" and will eat anything if it is grilled. He doesn't let me do anything that is "man's work" and pretty much tell his son to do whatever I say. Momma in law; much more traditional but accepts the new way of thinking. Very strong and the matriarch of the family. she's the boss and we all know it!
The Wedding will be interesting.
Jessie, I feel like I could just copy and paste what you wrote and it would capture my situation exactly. Initially I thought my boyfriend and I had been raised very similarly, but over time I've realized that's not true. I was raised to voice my opinion to my parents - to always be honest with my feelings, even if my feelings disagreed with theirs. I was raised to believe that I could say whatever I wanted to my mom (even some screaming matches in my teens!) and she would love me just the same. My mom had that kind of relationship with her own mother. In the end, my mom and I are like best friends now, and I know I can always be 100% honest with her. From adolescence on, she let me make my decisions and treated me like an adult (although she does have great advice if I ask for it). Meanwhile, my boyfriend's parents, although they are wonderful people and very sweet and generous, often treat him like he's a child. They tell him to shave, cut his hair, change his clothes, etc. He was going on a work trip to Italy and his mom even asked me if I could help him pack because she didn't "trust him to do it properly on his own." It bothers him, but he was raised to believe that correcting or disagreeing with his parents is disrespectful, so he doesn't say anything. It drives me crazy!
Polar opposites.
My parents are 20 years younger than his parents, mine enjoy traveling & are honestly kind of snobby. His parents are laid back, have never been on an airplane, never treat themselves... "vacation" is not in their vocabulary. His dad is handy, his mom rides a lawn mower around their property... my dad hires people & my mom hates the outdoors. lol
They've never met & won't meet until a few days before the wedding. Eeek.
Just like yours mine are the opposites. Lets just say, my parents are city and his are country. Their values, lifestyle, manners, are all at different levels. When we were dating, I enjoyed the differences. But now that we are in the middle of wedding planning, each side has their opinion on what is their idea of a good wedding. (For example: my family thinks that we are being very conservative in spending for this wedding and making it too simple to what they are used to, while his family thinks we are splurging and having an extravagant affair). This is making my relationship with the ILs a little bit more stressful since my point of views tend to be similar to that of my parents. They have not met and probably won't be meeting until a few days before the wedding (yikes, in a few weeks!). Maybe this is a good thing?
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I spent some time with my ILs last weekend and I finally pinpointed why my relationship with my MIL is a little stressful at times. As parents and as people, my mom and MIL are COMPLETELY different. I think these differences are what makes our relationship stressful--her attitude and behavior is just so foriegn to me, so I don't know how to react to it. I finally realized that even though they have common values and ideals, their personalities are just totally different.
My mom was always pretty hands-off, she treated us like adults and let us make our own decisions. Even as kids, we had some sort of say in our discipline and rules. As adults, we have a good ADULT relationship, where we speak like equals. She gives me her opinions, but never tells me what to do. At our wedding, she was just happy for me that I had found a partner and like "go, live your life! Be happy!"
My MIL is a very sweet lady (minus some wedding related freakouts), but I think she's a very sentimental person. She treats us like we're still children, instead of married adults. She's always checking up on us, like asking if we want to wear a jacket outside or warning us that we'll spoil our dinner if we snack too much. At our wedding, his mom was very sentimental and cried a lot. She kept saying "my little boy is all grown up! (even though my husband is 33 years old!)
So are your parents and in-laws similar or different? Do they parent in the same way? How has that impacted your relationship with them?