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I'm just curious as to whether most women drop their last name and take their husbands name.
I am hyphenating mine because my dad passed away when I was 17 and I am his only child and I want to keep his name alive somehow. It wouldn't feel right to completely drop his name even tho I love my fiance very much. He's totally okay with the idea of hyphenating the two names together.
I'm probably going to make mine a second middle name. I thought about keeping mine solely because my diploma(s)/publications are under my maiden name. Then I decided I didn't really care.
I LOVE my last name, but I want to have the same name as my husband and our future children. I've tried to convince him to take my last name but he won't. He doesn't care if I take his, but since it matters to me that we have the same name, I have to be the one to take his.
wow sorry .. I should've paid closer attention when writing this topic..
supposed to say: are you taking your hubby's last name?
Well, yes for the most part. I'm making my last name my second middle name. So...for examples sake, I would be Amelia J____ Bedelia M_____. Yeah we'll pretend my current last name is Bedelia so that makes sense. Haha.
I don't want to totally lose my last name because, well, I've had it all my life. It's part of my identity to me. This coming from the girl to do a psychological presentation on name importance, so yeah, I've thought about it a lot. haha.
I took his name, but I understand your justification behind hypenating. Honestly, it is a personal choice - do whatever feels right.
@MissEdamame: yeah I agree, it is a personal choice. I've thought about just taking his last name but I know it wouldn't feel completely right.. hyphenating it feels best :)
@eloping: yeah I feel like even in today's society, people just assume you will take the husband's last name.. since i've been engaged people call me Mrs.. and then his last name!!!
I want to take my DH's name and will at some stage, but I'm in the midst of the immigration process and it's too complicated to change it right now. I do have some legal documents here that are in my married name, but my passport (and therefore all immigration paperwork) is in my maiden name, as is everything back in the US. It is really, really frustrating - I just want to take my husband's name already!
@Ree723: hope it all works out soon so that you can have your hubby's name :)
Absolutely. Only because I really despise my own last name.
Though I went through a phase where I wanted to change my full name before I met FI, especially after the Friends ep when Phoebe changed her name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
I moved my maiden name to my middle name and took hubby's last name.
I feel like there should be a "Yes." option. No exclamation points. I think it's the best move for me but not really all that thrilled about it.
I'm taking his last name and making my maiden name a second middle name.
for those that are moving your surname to your middle name - do you already have a middle name? if yes does that mean you will have two middle names??
@Natalieh86: I agree, I'm not psyched, in fact, I'm a bit sad. I know it's the right thing for me though.
Edit: @eloping: Yes and yes.
Taking his last name but it'll take a while for the full transition since I have my business under my maiden name.
I am taking his name, but doing like some others and making my maiden name a second middle name. I really wont use it socially but to honor my Dad and how much he helped an influenced my degree, it will have both names on it for sure.
i havent decided yet. I will most likely keep my own name though.
I am and I'm excited about it. I love my last name too but I have wanted to change my name since I was a little girl, there's something so romantic about it to me.
@pandaboo: My last name is 7 letters and his is 9 letters, so hypenation and two last names is realistically out for me. 17 characters for a last name (including space or hypen) seems like a mess and is too long for most forms. Making it a second middle name, even though it won't be used much, allows me to hold onto it without it being a form-completion nightmare.
From working at a bank I just had to throw in that hyphenated names are a pain in the butt to pull up on our systems. It leads to a lot of confusion in databases and those customers that have hyphenated last names seem to be frustrated when we have trouble finding their information. I'm probably going to make my maiden name a second middle name. Since my maiden name starts with a "J" and so does my current middle name, Jean. I figure I'll write my name Emily J. "FI's last name" so that it stands for both. Hyphenating would be a mouthful for me anyways.
@Aure: yeah I hadn't though about that.. my last name is 7 letters long, his is 6.. so plus a hyphen it'll be 14 characters..
my own topic has made me confused.. well either i'll stick to hyphenating it or i'll make my maiden name my middle name to honor my dad.
yeah hubby's last name is 6 letters long but it's only one syllable so it sounds a lot shorter than it actually is.. and yeah I would think hyphenated names are a bit of a hassle but nothing too terrible I hope!
My son has my last name and i don't want to have a diff last name as my boy. That's my excuse for hyphenating. Me and my 2 sisters all hyphenated. i really love my maiden last name though.
@Roe: What name will your children take then? Assuming you have children. I mean if that doesn't make sense then surely your children taking his name doesn't make sense.
I'm having a hard time thinking about changing my last name because all my life, my identity is my name, you know? But at the same time, I want my children to have the same last name as me. AND my current initial is CC....and with the name change, I'd be CW...and all I can think about is the channel...lol.
oh and we're both chinese, so hyphenation is not even an option for me because we have two very popular last names and it would literally be too "ching-chong" for me, I can't even handle it. lol.
@CrispyRN: haha that's funny. I'm glad you have a sense of humor about it!! maybe have your maiden name as a middle name then??
but yeah it's a difficult decision for sure!
If we ever decide to have kids, we'll hyphenate theirs. His last name is 5 letters, mine is 4.
I am taking his last name. I plan on hyphenating my name on Facebook, just so people can find me. haha :p but for everything else, it's just going to be my first name and his last. :) I hope that makes sense lol!
I voted yes, though I am going to make my maiden name into my middle name. But it's not exactly hyphenating, so I didn't select that option. It's mostly for professional purposes - in work correspondence I'll be Melanie MyLast HisLast, but socially I'll still be Mrs. HisLast.
@eloping: I haven't actually figured that out yet. I don't really want two middle names, so I'm thinking of just dropping my current one. It feels kind of weird thinking about it, but I don't think I'll mind too much ultimately. On balance I think I'm going to prefer just dropping it altogether.
My grandma actually calls me by my middle name, so maybe it'll feel like I still have it, just not officially anymore. :-)
First marriage, we each kept our separate last name. However, since we planned to raise our children as Jewish, and his last name was Jewish while mine was not, we agreed that they would have his last name. However, I could count on one hand the number of times that having separate last names was even an inconvenience. And it was certainly more convenient than having to change my name on all my documents, and also having people who knew me before the marriage lose track of me.
Second marriage, we again each kept our separate last name. We won't be having any children, so that isn't even a consideration this time.
I have always felt strongly about not changing my name when I got married. I don't like the symbolism of it. (I also would not want a husband to take my name). I am glad that my FI agrees with this perspective although probably, a guy who didn't wouldn't want to marry me anyway as this isn't an issue I would ever compromise on.
@heyitssamyrae:Oh I am taking my FI's name, but I will have my last name on my facebook account too, so people can find me!!
It totally makes sense! Everything else in his name but on Facebook both. I want people that I havent talked to in years to be able to find me.
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