Weddingbee boards

I have 2 siblings of which I am the oldest, as does my mother and grandmother.  My FI is the only child of his parents but does have half-siblings from his fathers first marriage.  (He really is more like an only child, b/c his siblings were all practically out of the house or living with their mother when he was born and very young.)  I love kids and want at least 3 (on most days!); he also loves kids but says he thinks 2 will be plenty.  He doesn't want his kids to have the "only child syndrome" he thinks he has (and rightly so!)!  I have a friend (and BM) who also has 2 siblings, but she is the middle child.  She says she wants 2 or 4 so there's no "middle child syndrome."  I think when it comes down to it, it has a lot to do with family dynamics.  If you were close to your siblings or other family and experiences you had and may still be having can have a lot of impact on how you feel and picture your family.

My husband and I are both only children, but were raised extremely differently.

My husband was spoiled, both by the time with his mother, and by having everything he wanted purchased for him.  He loved being an only child and all the spoiling -- in fact, when he was 4 his parents thought about adopting a child, and he said no because he would have to share.  He was so spoiled, that his parents listened and didn't adopt, even though they had wanted to.

On the other hand, my mother is a child psychologist, and after having multiple miscarriages after me and came to the conclusion that I would be an only child, decided not to treat me as such.  While I was never in need of anything for basic living, my parents did NOT buy me whatever I want, or spoil me with their time -- of course, they played with me, but they refused to raise me by running to me and fulfilling my every desire.  Everyone has always guessed that I was the oldest, and are shocked to discover that I am only child.  I always wished that I could have a sibling.

Ironically, my husband wants to have two children, and I want to have one.  I think it is because he is afraid he will act just like his mother and spoil one child, whereas I know from my parents I could raise one child without the spoiling.

While technically not an only child my half-brother is 18 years older than me and was out of the house by the time I was old enough to really remember things. I've always wished I had a sibling, and now that I'm older I really with I had one in terms of thinking about my mother. My aunts and uncles are always involved in taking care of my grandmother and I worry very much about being able to take care of my mom as she gets older.