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granted one has the option to decline such an event if it is impossible/difficult to take time off. but in reality, particularly being family one can never gracefully do so. just think it's a lot to expect of people, especially with this economy. comments?
I dont think its selfish at all. Like you said, considering the economy a bride and groom can save a ton of money on a friday or sunday wedding. I dont see a big deal, maybe thats just me.
I wouldn't call them inconsiderate. I understand your frustrations about how sometimes its hard for those who are out of town to travel to a Friday wedding, but honestly travel is never convient (in my humble opinion).
Welcome to the boards.
I don't want to be discouraging since you are so new, but what is the intention here? You are not asking a question, looking for advice, or referring to personal experience, nor did you label this a vent. I think a Friday bride could find this mildly upsetting.
I don't think Friday weddings are being inconsiderate if everyone lives close by. I could see this being an issue if they are expecting a lot of people from out of town, but otherwise I think it could be a great way to cut back on things in the wedding
Uh, yea. I don't see it being selfish at all. I plan to have a Friday wedding. It's a day for my groom and I to celebrate. It's fantastic if my loved ones can join us, but if they can't. we will still enjoy our day.
I don't think Friday weddings are inconsiderate. I think complaining about them is, though. I hope you're not bringing this up to the couple.
We carefully selected our day, which happens to be a Friday. If any of our potential guests feels as strongly about it as you obviously do, I'd love for them to tell me so I can leave them off the list.
Wow, as a Friday bride I find you calling it selfish really quite rude. I may be a little biased, but I didn't exactly choose my date because I was trying to cut costs. I am saving a whole $500 dollars by having it on a Friday. Not exactly going to make or break my budget.
And you are right, people can absolutely decline to come if they find my wedding such a hassle, that they can't make it to a 6pm ceremony. As far as our families go, we discussed it with them before we chose our date. And no one had a problem with it.
Oh and, as a former retail worker it isn't like everyone has a Monday through Friday 9-5 work schedule. Your wedding will inconvenience someone, no matter what day it is on.
I'm having a Friday wedding that starts at 8:30pm, and if anybody is going to whine about it then they can stay the f%ck home.
I'm getting married at City Hall earlier in the day, and guess what? City Hall is only open M-F. Was I supposed to have my reception and public ceremony on a separate day? F that.
The only people we had decline were 3 out of town guests, out of maybe 10-11 total OOT guests that we invited.
I don't think it is selfish at all. I think that couples should get married on whatever day/date they want to. If I wasn't saving a ton of money by having my wedding on a Thursday, I would have had it on a Friday or a Saturday. The only thing that I looked at was my ring bearer's school schedule. And I messed that up, but his mom said it will be fine. The people that are important to us will make an effort to come no matter what day/date is chosen.
Actually Friday and Sunday weddings are quite popular now and we see more and more of them at the hotel I work at...it saves the couple thousands of dollars and they love having it a weekend long event! if its not a good day for guests, then I guess others can be invited!
I think Friday weddings can be inconvenient and not ideal, but there are many circumstances that affect a couple's choice of date... I'm sure most couples don't choose to wed on Fridays or Sundays to be inconsiderate.
I don't think it's selfish at all. If I was having a Friday wedding and family members couldn't get the day off of work for financial reasons I would understand and wouldn't hold it against them.
I'm a Friday bride, but I don't take offense to your question. I do think calling Friday weddings "selfish" is a bit harsh.
All weddings require people to take time off work and/or travel, even if they're on a Saturday. Not everyone has off on the weekends, which means to attend a Saturday wedding, they'd still need to take off work.
People tend to leave work early on Fridays anyway :) And there's more weekend to spend with visiting friends and family. Also, it's cheaper to travel on a Thursday! All potential positives. Plus, if you really want to be there, you'll be there, even if it's on a Tuesday.
Yeah, I have to agree that your post is not very respectful. And as someone who is having a Friday wedding, I must say I'm a bit offended by your post. And it really has nothing to do with cost, as much as availablilty of the church that I wanted. You see, the church we are having our ceremony in is a very popular location and we had to enter a lottery to have our ceremony there and that is the date we ended up with. I know I don't have to justify my reasons to you but I feel like you are generalizing things and should not do so without knowing why people pick certain dates. I agree with Lindsay in that if one of my guests has a problem with the date, then I won't invite them. And I do, in fact, have lots of people coming from out of town since my FI's family is out of state and they don't seem to have a problem with it. They would probably have to come on Friday anyway even for a Saturday wedding.
I don't find Friday weddings rude at all. I'm having a Sunday wedding which I suppose someone could also find selfish, but in our case it wasn't to save money but because if you book an August wedding in my area at least 18 months in advance to get a Saturday! We're trying to do things like start a little earlier and end earlier 930) so out of town driving guests can get home (but most OOT people are a plane ride away...so no matter what, they are 'inconvienced.) I think as long as the couple try and be accomedating and understand that sometimes it is hard to come on Friday/Sunday, it's fine.
Friday bride here! :) And proud of it - I'm TOTALLY doing it to cut costs! In this bad economy, like YOU said....I'm trying my hardest to be able to afford this wedding! If someone can't go because it's Friday and a bad economy - I will live!
However, if someone calls me selfish for having my wedding on a Friday - I DON'T WANT THEM TO COME!
Have a nice day! :)
I definitely don't think it's selfish. I also don't agree with your sentiment that "there are ways to cut elsewhere" - for us, a Friday wedding was less than 1/2 the cost of a Saturday wedding - there is no way we could have ever cut that much money out of our budget from other places!
I think this person is just trying to stir the pot, there is no reason for this post.
I just got invited to a Friday 3:00 wedding. I feel that this bride understands that I might not be able to make it. She might even be trying to limit the number of people who can come because of budgeting reasons. To each their own. If you care about the person, you will make it work, if you don't, don't go.
I don't think it's selfish at all. And as you said, there's always an option to decline.
I've never considered attending a wedding an inconvenience (whatever day it is) because the moment I get an invitation, the first thing that comes into my mind is that I am so honored to be invited. I once attended a good friend's wedding on a thursday afternoon. I was pretty honored considering that she only had 50 guests. She chose that day because of her culture. It's supposed to be good luck to get married on a date that ends in 8 so she only had 3 days out of the whole moth to choose. None of them fell on a weekend (and she wanted to get married that month before they move in to their new house). So I called in sick and had a great time at her wedding! :)
I, too, am having a Friday wedding. We did it to cut costs. FI and I talked to the important people in our lives to make sure that it would work for them. I don't feel that we were being "selfish" I feel that we were considerate to the people that matter and if anyone on the guest list can't make it, well that's unfortunate but we accepted that when we decided to have a Friday wedding.
Wow, I think we're being just a wee bit hostile to the newbee...lets back off a little bit!
I wouldn't go so far as to say its inconsiderate, but I understand her point about it being a little difficult on some guests to come to a Friday wedding. A friend of mine is getting married on a Friday, and all of our college friends are spread across the country. As her friends, we all really want to make it, but we all either work 9-5 jobs or are in school, so in order to come to her wedding we'll have to take both Thursday and Friday off. For some, its just not going to be possible (but it would be if her wedding was on a Saturday.)
All of that being said, I would never complain to her about that. I'm thrilled and excited to be there for her wedding, and I completely understand why she chose that day.
Also to add a point, if a couple is having a Jewish wedding, they might not be able to get married on a Saturday, depending on if their Rabbi will work on Shabbat.
I do think it can be inconvenient to go to a wedding on a Friday or Sunday, but it doesn't stop me from going.
I think there are far worse things couples can do to guests. Like not having enough food or enough drink.
I completely agree with spaniel! I don't think Friday weddings are inconsiderate, but I think complaining about them is.
Weddings are about the couple getting married, no one should have to justify their reasons for picking their wedding date, be it a Friday, Sunday, Wednesday, whatever. It's a once in a lifetime thing. They can have it on any day they want without people accusing them of being inconsiderate --- especially from guests (who have the option of declining)!
that's a bold statement to make. it's not like you're throwing a PARTY for THEM. the last thing i would be thinking about when picking my wedding date is "oo i wonder if they'll think a friday night wedding is inconsiderate? ya know what they probably will, i'll take a saturday wedding for an extra $4,000 instead." you should be careful what you say on here you don't know who you're offending.
Hmm yeah, not sure of the point of this post. Especially since the OP hasn't come back to explain her position further.
As a Friday bride, I don't think that I'm being rude to my guests by inviting them to my wedding. If they can come, great. If not, I understand. That's a risk you run no matter what day you have your wedding--there are always going to be people who are not able to attend.
ugh. can't we all just get along! lol. I think whatever you need to do to make the wedding work for YOU and FH is what you should do. People who care will be there. We are most likely having a Monday wedding because we want to get married in a small seaside town 4th of July weekend. It will be jammed with tourists on the 3rd and 4th, so we will have rehearsal and fireworks on the 4th, then marry on the 5th. People will already have Mon off due to 3 day weekend. If they don't think it's important to be with us on our big day, then I would think we were inviting the wrong people.
I'm getting married on a Thursday :o). So I guess I am inconsiderate and selfish, the reasoning behind it was actually to cut the guest list. Those of my guests that really want to be there for me for more than a free meal and drinks will gladly be there regardless of the day. I don't think Friday's are inconsiderate I think they are actually brilliant, people can party without having to go to church the next morning. So I say I would prefer a Friday wedding over any other day (shrugging shoulders).
i plan on having a friday wedding for a couple reasons. one of them is to cut costs. the people that are important enough to be there will be there. they have what, almost a year to plan to take off work for one day. and the people that can't come, well, we'll move on. and for those people not coming will save us money. we're planning on having a family breakfast on saturday because a good amount of the family is from OOT. the guests can still have their weekends too. so party on friday brides!
I also find this comment to be a little out of line. There are many reasons that a couple chooses a certain date. Perhaps it is a day of significance to them, such as a parents wedding anniversary or the day they first started dating. While costs are always a factor in wedding planning, to assume that a couple chooses a date or anything else about their wedding based solely on the cost is (imo) inconsiderate and somewhat selfish.
I got one thing to say about this post..
let people have there wedding WHENEVER and WHERE EVER they want...If you get invited, consider yourself lucky to be apart of their big day, and I just went to a friday wedding. I felt honored to be part of their day and I went the hard yards and took the day off, drove 4hrs to there wedding and even tho I was tired by the end of it, I was glad I could be there.
Hats off to the friday ladies!!
wow i certainly did not mean to cause offense to all of you. the reason i ask is because FI and I HAVE considered this when choosing our date, (perhaps we're in the minority?) regardless, we have a family member getting married this Oct on a Fri.. requiring a minimum of the day off for us both. and it's implied that we be there, as well as the rest of the family. of course we WANT to be there it's just hard for us to digest the loss of at least a day's pay plus travel expenses, etc, particularly with our upcoming wedding within the next year. Please understand I would NEVER address the concerns/questions about this with the bride and groom as I am VERY happy for them regardless and I am well aware it would be rude. I was looking for perspectives, and again i apologize for hurt insulted feelings.
It's cool that you meant something different, but there's no denying that your first comment was quite rude.
I am a Friday Bride, this was not done as a price cut but a way to enjoy as much time with our guests over the weekend before we leave for our honeymoon. Many of our guests are coming from Italy as well as various states. Having the wedding Friday is allowing us to get together with everyone thoughout the weekend and continue visiting with them. And by having a Friday wedding the guest can still come to a special event on the Saturday if they so wish.
I do believe that your wedding day is your day, you are gratiful for the friends and family that can be with you and you are understanding to those who can't.
If you feel it is selfish then send your regrets, but you know you can always book time off.
I'm getting married on a Friday, (July 9) and we actually considered this VERY carefully so as not to be inconsiderate.
We are inviting approximately 115 guests including 18 plus ones, and about 10 "courtesy invites".
30 relatives of my FI are from out of town. They were planning on "making a vacation of it" and coming in on June 30th, in order to celebrate Canada day with a "family reunion" of sorts, and then spend the week together in BC.
7 -of my family members including my parents and sister are from out of town as well, and were planning on being here the whole week prior.
3 - are wedding photographers - who a Saturday wedding would mean giving up a large commission.
10 are police officers who work the same 4 on/4 off schedule as my FI. This particular Friday falls on their regular days off.
15 others work jobs that aren't regular Monday-Friday, so are able to "adjust" their schedule and just ask to work whatever alternate day/more hours another day.
7 - are teachers who are off work the entire summer.
There are probably a few +1's of people that I don't know about yet that are inconvenienced... but oh well???
Honestly, our wedding taking place on a Friday only caused about 6 of our specifically invited guests to have to take a day off work that they wouldn't have taken regardless. We were able to get a fabulous venue that we wouldn't have been able to book 9 months out, if we'd been restricted to a Saturday. Our reception starts late enough that if someone really couldn't get off on Friday, they could make it in time for dinner for sure.
Sorry for the long post, but I hope it shows that the decision to go with a Friday isn't always a thoughtless action on the part of the bride and groom.
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