- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My fiance and I have decided on a destionation wedding for very good reason! We met while I was living in Australia for 2 1/2 years. About 2 years ago we decided to move back to Canada (where Im from). He is Aussie (obviously). So we got engaged last year and decided to have our wedding in Hawaii – we both love to travel, love the beach…and no matter where we have the wedding, our closest friends and family will have to travel anyways! So we gave our guests 18 months notice and all seemed good, ppl were excited, as were we. I think of my wedding not just as a day I get to marry the man I love, but as a day we can have all the people we love from both Australia, Canada and England (I lived there for 2 years too and he also has family living there) in one place, which is super important to me. Now we are 7 months out and ppl are slowly flaking out. Our originaly guest count was 40 and now it is 6 ppl from my family, 8 ppl from his and his mother has invited (without asking me or my fiance) 8 of their closest friends who his mother told us have booked their flights and they are all excited…but then I was like “wait, who are these ppl???” I never met them once while I was living in Australia and my fiance didnt even send them an invite so I find this strange.
I am feeling disappointed that some of my best friends are flaking out, especially cos I know they always plan 1-2 international holidays per year anyways and we have them 18 months to save/plan. I don’t have many close friends in Canada, they are mostly all between England and Australia. The ones I do have here have either recently gotten pregnant, moved to another country and cant afford it or are getting married themselves this year or next. That’s disappointing in itself but now knowing I will get married in front of 8 of his family and 8 other people I have never met before…it seems strange to me. I don’t like to be the center of attention and dont like the idea of 8 of these ppl being at my wedding. Plus, my fiance and I are paying for everything and also trying to save for a house. His parents and these 8 other ppl always take a group holiday together to somewhere tropical…last year was Bali and this year will be Hawaii apparently :S
I feel like they will be turning our special day into a holiday for them…and we are paying for it..at least that one day. I don’t think I would have noticed this as much if I had more of my loved ones and close friends coming, but I dont….so I will be sitting at a table with his family, these 8 ppl I don’t know…my sister and two nieces. my sister and oldest neice are the most selfish ppl you will meet, so selfish that my sister knew about my wedding, I asked her to be my bridesmaid she said fine, but then was going to book a trip to Cuba in March with her friend and then when it came to booking accommodation/flights for my wedding she said she couldnt afford it….I got a good deal through wedding planner so it was not going to be more than her CUba trip…and my oldest niece didn’t wnt to go because it would be one week away from her bf and apparently that’s unbareable at 17! My dad isnt in my life so I guess my mum will walk me down the aisle? and I just cringe at the thought of how the day will go. Before when I closed my eyes and thought of our wedding I saw my best friends at the alter waiting for me, a scattering of close family and friends (maybe 30) sitting down and having a wonderful night of laughter, catching up with everyone and just happiness!!! Now when I close my eyes and think of it I see my amazing man standing up there alone (which is totally fine!) and we get married…but the reception is his parents and family and parents friends all laughing having a good time, my sister and niece complaining and nobody talking to me and my new husband. I dont really like my fiances familly…they are also fairly selfish and have done a lot of things to hurt our relationship…such as keeping in touch with my fiances ex and when he asked them to stop seeing her, they ignored him. So you can see Im not super excited about having them there, but they are his family and I respect that…I just cant imagine trying to get through a whole night with them alone on my wedding day!! I guess I just always pictured my wedding being different…never big or glamours but just a celebration with our closest friends and family. And no matter where we have the wedding we will be missing someone and we cant afford to have 3 weddings in each country! Who can!?
Am I being crazy? I just feel that A) it was rude of his parents to invite their 8 friends without even asking us B) if they want them to come, ask us but then also say they will pitch in with some money to cover the reception and stuff for their friends and C) I would rather elope as this is turning into my biggest nightmare!!
What has other people’s experience of a destination wedding been? How many ppl came to yours? And what are your thoughts on what my fiance’s parents did by inviting their friends without asking/offering to pay?
I appreciate the input guys…sorry for the long rant by the way, I guess part of me was also wanting to vent as I put a lot of time planning the wedding and have only found out this week that half of our guests won’t be coming. Also some of our guests have completely ignored our RSVP dates so I think they have just forgotten about our wedding al together.