- 5 years ago
it’s been a long few weeks. a really long few weeks. family stuff, health stuff, school stuff, friend stuff. and i’m just. i’m drained. drained to the point where i’m reverting into my “eat one meal a day, don’t get out of bed, let the place become a mess” form. which isn’t good (i overcame an eating disorder in high school, which is where the ‘one meal a day’ thing comes from)
FI is lazy. we’re both lazy. we always have been. i knew going into this relationship that we were going to be that lazy couple. but i don’t think i realized just how bad it was going to be. we moved into a new apartment at the beginning of september. it’s now almost the middle of october, and we’re still not unpacked. i’m the only person who ever does any dishes. we had a major fruit fly infestation last week, because he left a bowl from cereal buried under a pile of books on the desk. he claims to “not know how to load the dishwasher” (bullshit, i’ve shown him five times how to do it). he doesn’t do laundry. he doesn’t put his clothes in the hamper. a week or so ago, i asked him three days in a row to take out the trash and gather up the cans and bottles from around his desk. it took me leaving him a note, unplugging the router and bringing it in the car with me when i went to school, and texting him twice, for him to actually do what i asked. and even then, he only took out one bag.
he works. i get that. i don’t work, but i’m in school full time. i understand that he’s tired when he gets home, and he just wants to relax. but you know something? i need help around here. i refuse to be my mother and have to do everything. and that’s what it’s turning into. i’m scared.
i love him. i really really do. but i don’t know how to tell him, or explain to him that i need him to help me out around here. he’s like an overgrown child.
sorry. i needed to vent. cause i’m on the verge of tears from frustration. i don’t know if i want this for the rest of my life. do i want him? yes. do i want this? not neccessarily.