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You don't have to invite her just because she invited you, although it could be slightly awkward. As for going to her wedding, say yes if you want to go celebrate with her, and no if the hassle of attending a wedding (for someone you're not even friends with!) outweighs the fun. ;)
Its your wedding you decide what you want..
oh
and can I please get your address so I could send you my invite?
haha just kidding!
Don't change your guestlist to include her. You are having a small wedding, and people will understand if you say to them you are having a very small wedding. If you explain it and they DON'T understand, you don't want them at the wedding anyway.
How often do you see her? Go to her wedding if you are comfortable, but don't in any way feel bad for not inviting her.
I voted to not invite her. It was her choice to invite you to her wedding and it should not be contingent on whether or not she is invited to yours. If you feel comfortable going to her wedding, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, even if you choose not to invite her. Hopefully she will understand that you are having a small wedding and that you could not invite everyone that you would have liked to. If your whole family is going to the wedding, there is no reason that you shouldn't! Your list is your choice, and you have to keep it at something that you feel comfortable with (although, of course, I know this is easier said than done).
I don't think you have to change your list, and I think you can go to her wedding regardless.
My fiance and are in in the same boat sister! I say go if you really want to, but you are not obligated to invite her to yours. We are also having a small wedding. My fiance invited a couple his parents were really close with, and he was also close with them growing up(we'll call the couple sara). Thier daughter got married last year, and invited my fiances parents, Sara said for them to bring my fiance to the wedding. They had a guest list of 200+. Sara got offended that my fiance didnt invite all her kids and thier spouses! Needless to say, she is not coming to our wedding. Its her loss.
Unless they are immediate family or very close friends, invites should not be expected. Its unfair to put that kind of pressure on someone. It's your day hunny! Make it about you, and the people you love!
Best of luck!
Yeah...they're pretty chill people and would never create drama. I just feel bad! Maybe she's hoping I say no? : )
We have a similar situation except we already went to their wedding! They invited us to theirs, they aren't invited to ours - and they completely understand (atleast I think they do!).
You need to stay strong and do what's right for your wedding. There are already way too many things we "have" to do as brides, inviting more people out of obligation should not be one of them!
If you have the chance to talk with her beforehand, I would just mention that you had a really small ceremony and weren't able to invite very many people outside your family.
I would say don't worry too much about this. If you are having a relatively small wedding she will most likely understand! I say go to hers if you want to go and don't go if you don't want to - but don't let that decision be based on the fact that youre invited to hers and she's not to yours!
There's no rule that says you have to invite somebody to your wedding if they invited you to theirs.
Don't invite! I was invited to a sorority sister's wedding which happened right after college graduation. That was 4 years ago and we haven't spoken since. This past fall I was also invited to another college peer's wedding, she exlcuded my FI (even though she invited other people with dates who were just casually dating), I didn't go to either's wedding and there is no way they will be on my guest list. I am also enforcing that it isn't tit for tat to my mom or else are guest list would have a lot of 'obligation' invites of people I dislike/
An old old old friend of mine that I havent seen or spoke to for over 15 years sent me an invitation but I declined because I would feel obligated to invite her to mine. I sent her a nice gift anyways and didnt even get a thank you!!!
I think its okay to say no if u don't want to go and yes if u really want to without her feeling. She is a bride now and i am sure she will understand......My sister has this friend my sort of friend too but we are not close (don't even see her much) and she invited me to her wedding last August and I accepted. But I am not inviting her to my wedding, besides she has too much drama and i don't want that.
You do not have to invite her, and if you don't want to, then you shouldn't. As for attending her wedding, if you feel close enough to her to do so and want to then go for it. There is no quid pro quo (something or something) when it comes to wedding invites. I invited one of my close gfs to my wedding, and I know I won't be invited to hers because she wants an intimate wedding. I am not offended one bit, and she is happy to attend mine.
Everyone's guest lists are different and being on someones does not mean they need to be on yours.
You do not have to invite her. You definitely don't have to invite her whole family. And as you were invited, you should feel free to attend if you would like to. :)
If you want to attend, by all means go! If you would feel awkward, at least send a gift. That should take the sting out of not inviting her when the time comes. If you go and she says something like "See you at your wedding", just play the small ceremony/small budget card. She's a bride too and should understand that.
If you don't want to go to hers, then don't invite her, but do send her a nice gift. She probably had you on the B-list and had fewer yes's than she was planning on. She'll be more than happy to recieve a gift, I'm sure.
Thanks everyone! Yeah, I'm definitely sending a gift! But I'm leaning towards not attending...I better talk to my sister and mom and see what they're doing! I bet they were invited too.
She's probably having a larger wedding! You should go, it won't be too awkward, and if she does end up noticing I'm sure she will realize it was a pretty small wedding and that you guys aren't super close.
Your guest list and their guest list are completely different entities and should be treated as such. Who invented this "rule" that you have to invite everyone who invites you to their wedding in the first place? That information is absolutely wrong. Attend if you want or decline if you don't want to go but don't cave into the naive logic that it's a competition of any kind, which also includes the idea of "she invited me so I have to invite her or the world will end". Seriously though, why does it matter? Whether your family is attending or not is irrelevant to the situation and should not be the deciding factor for what you do in the end.
Etiquette does say, that all hospitality ought to be reciprocated. If anyone invites you to dinner, then within the next few months you should invite them to dinner. But it doesn't have to be for exactly the same event, obviously. After all, most of her wedding guests will be already married: they can hardly reciprocate by inviting her to their wedding, can they? So why should you have to?
Your guest list for your wedding is already set. You shouldn't be changing it for something like this. But you are right to feel obligated by accepting her invitation. The right thing to do is, a few weeks after you return from your honeymoon, invite this consins' cousin and her new husband over to your new home for dinner. It will be a fun opportunity for two newlywed households to start practicing everyday hospitality, after the big frou-fa-frah large-scale hospitality of your weddings. You can trade wedding stories over the dessert course.
I invited someone to my wedding and was not invited to hers a few months later, and it was not a big deal for me! I just say this to present the other side of the situation:)
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What to do? My guest list is pretty small so this person didn't make the cut...should I invite her anyway?
Background: This girl is a family friend and also my cousins' cousin. My sister invited her entire family to her wedding a year ago. I know her very well, but we're not "friends".
My guest list is small - like 85ish. (My sister had 115 and way fewer friends.) If I invite her, I feel like I would have to invite her whole family and that's practically 10% of my list. I am totally prepared to decline her invite if I choose not to invite her (which is where I'm headed).
What do you think? I hate guest lists!! And please do not send me any more invites before my wedding!