Post # 1
I am new to these boards and am loving them already! I am the first of my girl friends to get married and don’t have many close female relatives that have gotten married so these boards are extremely helpful!! 🙂
The argument with my mom has to do with where I want to get married. I have known forever, before my fiance and I even knew each other, that I wanted to get married by the lake in Tahoe and thankfully my fiance loves the idea as well. We live in the east bay area and my mom thinks that getting married in Tahoe is putting a financial burden on all of our guests. We plan on doing a Sunday wedding because the date is significant to us and venues can be up to half the price on Sundays (I would think she would view that as a huge plus). My mom thinks this will cause people to have to take the following monday off from work and fork out money for a hotel and of course the cost of driving there.
My argument against hers is that we will be sending out save the dates a year prior (plenty of notice to plan for a day off work and to save money for hotel etc.). We will also do our best to get a block of rooms at a discounted group rate. Also, if there are guests that are in a situation where they absolutely cannot take off work, it’s a 3 hour drive home, even leaving as late as 8 (a couple hrs into the reception) they could be home by 11. No one, besides immediate family and the wedding party is required to stay overnight there..
I’ve traveled to weddings plenty of times before and am about to go to one in Texas ($350 just for a plane ticket). Plus some of our wedding guests that don’t live in the bay area would have to travel regardless (probably about 20% of the guestlist).
Please tell me if you think I’m being rude or selfish by having my wedding on a Sunday in Tahoe. My mom being so against makes me worry, but I still really want it : / Any advice???
Post # 3
Sorry it is so long! Some outside opinions would be really helpful!! My mom has since given up on the argument, but is still insisting that my guest turn out will be significantly lower than if I had it closer to my hometown or on a Saturday.
Thank you in advance for any thoughts or opinions!
Post # 4
I say do what you want to do. The people who love you and truly want to be there will be there. I’m having my wedding on a Friday at 5:30 in the middle of rush hour traffic, downtown in a major city. If people want to be there, they’ll come and I’m not worried about those that don’t.
Post # 5
I think people who really want to attend your wedding will attend regardless of distance.
That said – if a wedding was 3 hours away on a Sunday night – I would decline, unless it was a close friend.
I think your mom has some valid points: ie – it is an inconvenience and people will incur a lot of expense.
I also think you have valid points: if you’ve always dreamed of a Tahoe wedding, then I don’t see why you shouldn’t have one.
Could you compromise and make it a Saturday wedding (so it’s a little easier on your guests and they can make a weekend out of it??)
Post # 6
I agree–do whatever you want to do. We got married about 40 minutes from our town. It was obviously not that far, but it was far enough that most people would need a hotel (since most planned on drinking).
We also got married on a Friday night at 6. I assumed most people would not RSVP yes, because being it was 40 minutes away, that would mean they all had to either take a half-day or the whole day off. We still had 75% of our guest list RSVP yes and there on time.
People do take off days from work for weddings, and they do travel. It’s not like it’s just a birthday party. Weddings are a big deal and people know that.
Post # 7
@Amanda89: your mom has good arguments, but it’s YOUR wedding. It’s not like you’re doing a total Destination wedding in Mexico or somewhere like that.
Do what you want and if people can go, they will. BUT take her concerns into mind because some people may NOT be able to come due to work the next day or due to their financial situation.
Not everyone knows a year ahead of time what they’re schedule will look like that close to the date. Plus, you don’t know what the year will hold. You can easily have a job one minute and none the next.
edited to add: forgot to add that not all businesses allow you to take a day off that far in advance. Some have pretty strict guidelines, even if you ARE invited to a wedding, it doesn’t mean you’re guarenteed that day off.
Post # 8
I have to agree with the PP, on what she said.
Post # 9
My fiance and I are getting married in Maui. Obviously, a lot of people aren’t going to go and I really don’t care if only 10 people come. It’s your day and you should get married in Tahoe. I went on vacation there with my family and WOW. It’s sooooooo beautiful! I wouldn’t pass that up just so a couple people could make it. Hopefully you only do this once and it should be your dream not everyone elses. Go to Tahoe.
Post # 10
Another option for a Sunday wedding is to consider having it earlier (maybe in the afternoon) to give people a chance to sober up for a few horus before driving back?
Post # 11
It is your wedding. Do what you want. But your mom does have some valid points. You may find a significant number of guests will decline. So… what is more important to you? Being married by the lake in Tahoe on Sunday or having the majority of your invited guests attend?
One thing that sticks out in my mind is that you stated guests will have time to save money for the trip. One could also argue that you and your FI also have time to earn and save money to pay to use one of the venues on a Saturday to make things more convenient for your guests.
Post # 12
She is right. You will likely have less guest turnout but those that are closest to you will make the trip and maybe make it a weekend thing. DH and I have a friend getting married on a Sunday 25 min away and we almost booked a hotel because we really wanted to celebrate. We still took the next day off.