Arguments about the wedding date..help!

posted 3 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
42469 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@justlovelyxo:  What it comes down to is What is more important to you?

Having the people you love and who love you at the wedding? Or having a place that you love?

Post # 5
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

“Unfair” would be a strong word, but I’m sure you can understand where he’s coming from.  If the friend is a member of the wedding party, that’s pretty important.  That said, the no alcohol policy would be a no go for the both of us.  Are you open to other dates outside of the 11th and 18th?

Post # 7
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

@justlovelyxo:  

Well that sucks 🙁  I realize we sound like alcoholics, but my family is all about their alochol (in a responsible way, of course).  But maybe this isn’t as important to you guys.  It would still be a lovely event, and in the end it’s all about you guys getting married. 

Anyway, if the friend was a guest you might have an argument.  If he’s in the wedding party, I don’t think you can win this one.  Sorry 🙁

Post # 8
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

Personally, I’d place more emphasis on the people than the venue. 

Post # 11
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well, from your first post I would say go with the 18th and keep researching venues that will allow you to serve alcohol.

But then I read your other posts where your FI insists on getting married in October AND alcohol “means a lot” to him.  (Does that mean he drinks a lot or he really wants an open bar?)  At some point, he’s going to have to flex.  If you can’t find a venue with alcohol in his preferred month when his friend can attend, he’s going to have to give something up.

I think there’s no reason why a late-Sept or early-Nov wedding would be any different than an October wedding.

Post # 12
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

@justlovelyxo:  I hear you, but if your fiance is planning on asking him to be a groomsman, I’d try to accomodate him. We knew not everyone would be able to make it (it was out of state for everyone on his side, plus it was on a Tuesday night- NYE), but we cleared the date with our VIPs before we set the date in stone with the church. VIPs= parents, siblings, and BP.

Post # 14
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@justlovelyxo:  Why can’t the friend be there on the 11th? 

Are there any venues on the 18th which your fiance is happy with? And if not, what does he propose to do?

Post # 16
Member
7195 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@justlovelyxo:  Well I think that’s no excuse to make someone move their wedding. I love my anniversary but I’ll happily celebrate a day later if something important is on. Personally I think you should schedule it for the 11th and if the guy can’t make time for your wedding, then too bad too sad. And it sounds like they might not get to your wedding on the 18th anyway.

As for the 2nd part of my question… what is your fiance’s solution, if nothing suitable is available on the 18th? 

I think the procedure should (almost) always be find a venue before fixing your date, not the other way around.

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