Weddingbee boards

I saw this article on multicultural families and thought I would share it.

NY Times Article: For Mixed Family, Old Racial Tensions Remain Part of Life

I'm white and my FI is Haitian. In Haiti people stare at me whether I'm with my FI or not. We haven't ever experienced any tension or discrimination because of being white and black. However, being in the States is a different thing all together.

I dont' have kids yet, but I think I will have to get one of those shirts that says "Yes, I'm the Mom."

My FI is black and I'm white. We have a 1.5 year old who everyone compares to Vanessa Williams ;). We've only experienced racism once and it was by a flight attendant on a major airline! Other than that our families get along great and no one bats an eye. 

I should also add that in FI's family there is a great variety of color. Both sides of hs family have been around since slavery times and there have been many inter-marriages. Even in my family there is a great variety of skin tones. My Italian father often gets mistaken for middle eastern because of his complexion but I am fairly light with blonde hair and blue eyes.

The only person who ever said anything to me about my daughter being a different color from me was 4 years old so obviously she meant nothing by her comment.

Honestly, out of all the mixed couples and people I know, no one has had as many experiences as this family. 

@dcdt212: my guess is that region of the country has a great deal to do with tensions. I grew up in a small town in northern IN. Families of color would move into our town and within a year they would move out. My entire high school was white except one mixed guy and one Puerto Rican girl. I was friends with both of them and they had to deal with a lot of stupid questions/comments and even insults. The mixed guy had a neighbor who flew a confederate flag in his yard. He told me once that every day when he left his house it was like seeing a sign that read "you aren't welcome here."

Unfortunately there's also a fairly heavy KKK presence in Northern Indiana. :(

Sadly, FH and I will have to deal with this when we have children. I'm Black, and he's Mexican, Spanish, Egyptian, French, German, and Native American. He has brown hair and gray eyes though, so he easily "passes" as White. We don't get too many negative comemnts thrown at us, but we live in California, and mixed couples are everywhere. If we move to the South though, I have a feeling that it will become an issue to other people.

@blayne7: That probably has some truth to it. Although, we live in New Hampshire which isn't known for its diversity. I am very happy that the people I love have never had to deal with this to the extent that her family has. 

On a wedding related note, FI's cousin is half black and half white. She is very light and even has blonde hair. She married a white man. The two families met on the day of the wedding and the groom's entire family left when they realized she was black. They had assumed that she was Italian or something like that. Luckily, his cousin is an amazing woman with an amazing family and she never let it get to her!

@misssydneyj: My FI and I drove from NH down to Myrtle Beach, SC one year for vacation. We stopped in a couple dingy little town for gas and breaks and no one ever said anything to us! Maybe we got lucky, but everyone we met down there was so polite and it felt genuine. We even toyed with the idea of moving to SC! 

@dcdt212: Yeah, I've been to NC and I love it there. FH thinks since it's near the South, it is a racist state. I didn't get any flack down there, and we were in a diverse group for a church conference. I haven't been to the deep South yet, so we'll see!

@AmeliaBedelia: That's what I told FH, but he is very hestitant to go to the South. I might get him to visit there on a vacation, and maybe that will change his mind.

@AmeliaBedelia: I said the same thing lol. I think he just has to see it to believe it.

@misssydneyj: Haha my FI was the one who was worried also! We were going to drive to New Orleans as well (didn't because we were broke college kids) and that scared me a little. I'm not sure how friendly deep Louisiana would be but I like to be an optimist.

Half of FI's family is from NC and they own a ton of land in Fayetteville. I haven't had a chance to go there yet but from what he tells me it's beautiful. 

@SandyDollHair: I had that happen at a party once in college. Some girl I didn't know was being blatantly racist. I'm not known for holding my tongue.... and she got quite an earful! I always think it's funny to catch someone off guard when they assume because you look like them that you must be a bigot like them as well!

One of my fathers co-workers happened to be at the hotel I held my wedding at while it was going on, my fiance is half black and his whole family is black. My father told me at work a few days later she was going on and on about this wedding she had seen where the bride was white and the groom was black and there were black and white people mixing and how disgusting it was. My father calmly informed her that she had seen the wedding of his daughter to his new son in law, and she just shut up and walked away, I imagine feeling very awkward. But we live in NW Pennsylvania...surprisingly a lot of racists here. And she was a nurse...which somehow makes it worse.

@theoddbride: Exactly! It really isn't that hard to figure out if you understand how babies are made...