Article: This woman's children are NOT the centre of her universe

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Refreshing! Reminds me a bit of the book “bringing up bebe” and echos the advice you frequently hear: to put yourself first, your marriage second, and your kids third. I’m sure it’s easier said than done though, and I might have a hard time not being a worry-wart control freak with my own kid!

Post # 4
6273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

@mu_t:  Good for her! I really worry about this next generation. Very few people can really be special snowflakes. Most of us just get to be snow. I feel like the next generation won’t be very accepting of that.

Post # 5
664 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I love it. I wish more parents would take up her approach.

As a teacher, I see students all the time who don’t know how to entertain themselves because nobody ever expected them to, who can’t handle a bad mark because they’ve never experienced failure, and who don’t know how to improve on their work because they’ve never been given constructive criticism (or any kind of criticism, as far as I can tell).

I’d love to see a shift back into common sense parenting.

Post # 6
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@mu_t:  I loved the article. I worked in the school system for a little bit and my husband is also a music teacher, and so I see how parents cottle their childre, so to speak, in order to get their way.

For instance, I had posted a while back about a girl who wanted to go on a choir tour, but the stipulation is she needs to be in choir both semesters in order to go. She’s a junior by the way. She chose to take Sign Language for tow reasons: one, her mom wanted her to have it for college and two he uncle is deaf and rather than having her mom teach her signing, she could learn it, so the mom fought the school to have it put in place. When did they place it? Right over choir, so she chose (by force from her mom) to be in sign laugnage.

When she was told she could no longer participate in choir tour, she cried, told mommy, and mommy got everyone from the school involved and fought for her child to not have her extracurricular activites taken away.

This is a mother who has let her son flounder becuse she bails him out all the time. If he ends up in jail, she bails him. He doesn’t have a car becuase he sold it for drug money? She buys him a new one. He’s too lazy to find a job> Oh don’t worry. Mommy and daddy will talk to some people they know. What do you think will happen to the daughter now? So she gets to do both because mommy, who is an educator herself, raised hell and made it so.

Sorry for the soapbox but rules are put in place for a reason, and you need to teach your kids according to the rules. If you don’t, they grow up thinking everything is handed to them on a silver platter or that mom and dad will bail them out, but they end up with a rude awakening the day mom and dad are no longer there. Then what? What were they taught? Nothing.

Post # 9
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree with her parenting style but I didnt love the article and it’s tone. I can’t put my finger on why though. Maybe it’s the way she uses the term modern parent that makes it seem like all parents are like that which gives an air of superiority to her? Regardless I agree with her but I don’t think every parent or even the majority are necessarily like that, at least they aren’t around my social circle.

Post # 10
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

From the article: “Modern parenting and thinking makes me crazy. The young generations of today (yes, I sound old. I realize I’m only 29 years old.) are being taught that they shouldn’t have to ever put up with anything doesn’t make their hearts feel like rainbow colored unicorns are running around pooping skittles onto piles of marshmallows.

Modern parenting is creating a generation that’s not going to be able to function in society.”

^^^ Spot on. 

 Thank you for posting this! I love it. 

Self sufficiency and tough skin are disappearing. I grew up in an old fashioned family who love kids endlessly, but they also know how to enjoy themselves and let the kids learn on their own. 

Nothing was baby proofed for me. The house didn’t become a giant playground so I could make memories or whatever other messes I wanted to do. My mother didn’t involve herself in every freaking thing I did with my friends. She taught me what not to do, and trusted me enough to listen to her. And I did. There was such a thing called DISCIPLINE.

It even reminds me of a recent thread where a grad student tried to tell her professor how to do his job. I mean, how does that even enter someone’s mind? What kind of entitled people are we bringing up? What happened to humility? I guess that’s what happens when every child is taught they’re a speshul snowflake & can do no wrong. 

Everything she listed summarizes the main reason why I don’t want to bring a child into this society. 

Post # 11
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I love this!  I am not a parent yet, but DH and I worry all the time about how we don’t want to raise our future child like most kids today are.  Children have no integrity now, they don’t know what it means to be any part of self sufficient, and the sense of entitlement some of them have is just unbearable.  And raising your kids to be that way does them such a disservice in the long run.


Perfect example:  DH and I rented the movie Grown Ups 2 last night, and in one scene, the mother is doing addition flashcards with her son.  He gets every single problem wrong, but instead of correcting him, she lets him think his answer is right because she doesn’t want to do anything that hurts his confidence.  How does that help your child??  It does nothing but enable the false bubble they live in.


Our kids will NOT have Iphones when they’re 10, Xbox when they’re 5, and they will be put outside and told to entertain themselves.  They will particiate in conversation at the dinner table and not worry about Twitter or Instagram.  

Post # 12
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Amen. I think if more people took her approach, the world would be a better place.

Post # 13
6668 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Meh.  I am trying to be that parent who DOES drop everything when my 2 year old runs up to me and says “Dance with me mommy!”.  Life is short, and children are little for such a short time.  Of course there are parents who take it to far.  But she rubs me the wrong way.  Glad she’s got it alllllllllll figured out though.

Post # 14
453 posts
Helper bee

Her post reminds me I need to let my kids tough it out a little more. The mommy instinct takes over sometimes and you want to protect them.

(slight digression) Another thing that I thought of when reading her post: When parents say that their kids are their “best friends.”

YOUR CHILD IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND. Your child is your CHILD and you are their PARENT. I think that’s a big problem that parents have today, they try to be their friend (which plays into the protecting them and making them feel “special”) so the kids will always like the parent.

Well guess what? Your kid is gonna hate you. He’ll yell at you, she’ll tell you you’re ruining your life. Just the way it is. And the reason they hate you? Because you set rules, limits and boundaries. And THAT makes you a good parent, not being their best friend.

Post # 15
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t see anything earth-shattering there, though the author certain seems to think herself quite the iconoclast. Most of my friends parent this way – they’re trying to raise kids who are independent and self-sufficient, while still trying to carve out moments to connect with their kids.

Plus, her kid’s name is Hendrix. OFFS.

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