As a guest, what type of vows do you prefer?

posted 3 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll:
    Personalized : (40 votes)
    31 %
    Mixed : (47 votes)
    37 %
    Traditional : (40 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6960 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @minipenguin:  Hahaha… as of my vote it’s an even split. 🙂

    Personally, I said “mixed” only because the times I’ve been to weddings with “personalized vows” they didn’t really seem to be vowing anything. It was all “I love you because…. when we met…. I can’t imagine life without you…” Yeah but… what are you PROMISING?!?! So as long as the vows are actually VOWING something, then I’m all for personal, but this is not the time for your cliff notes version of your relationship.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    1343 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I am very biased. We did mixed! We wanted to make sure to take the traditional aspects of marriage vows with what we needed to work on and what we felt was important in a marriage. 

    Our vows were absolutely the most complimented part of the wedding! 🙂 

    Post # 6
    Member
    4072 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @MexiPino:  I feel the same way!

    The strictly traditional vows tend to make me cringe unless they’ve been updated.

    Too often though I have heard personal vows that don’t even contain vows… it’s just a big love letter. 

    So I voted for mix because I like it when their is a play off the traditional and it sticks with the intended purpose, but there is still some personalization to them.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    The quickest ones.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2912 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i agree with previous posters about couple writing their own vows. they always sound silly and trivial and aren’t even vows–“i promise to make you eat your vegetables…i promise not to bother you when you’re watching footbal…i love you for this and that….”

    i prefer traditional or a mix of both.

    Post # 9
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Traditional with a Personalized Element ???

    Wink *wink*

    Like @MexiPino: said, as much as I like to hear how much you all mean to each to other … aka Relationship “Cliff Notes”… (that really is a cute saying)

    I want to hear you all PROMISE SOMETHING to one another for the future…

    Otherwise what is the point ?

    I promise to be faithful only onto you… To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour and cherish, ’til death do us part

    Makes total sense to me.  People can leave out the whole God part if they want.  BUT these words to me are the crux of the whole “Marriage concept” in my mind.

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    7070 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Ugh I know I’m probably weird, but usually personalized vows make me so uncomfortable! The weddings I’ve been to where the couple did this, they were just way too personal for me. Better suited to a private letter or something, IMO.

    On the opposite end of the spectrum, I’ve also experience some very inappropriate personalized vows such as “I will not fart in public”. So bad! lol

     

    Post # 11
    Member
    3210 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I prefer mixed. To me, the worst part of all personalized vows is when they don’t seem to match up. My cousin’s wedding was absolutely amazing and to die for, but their vows made me so uncomfortable! Hers was all jokey and like, “Haha, we almost didn’t make it through the long-distance part of our relationship! And our dog!” and his were like “You are my soul.” Lol, the personalized part of our vow “matching” was like the first thing we both said when we started working on our ceremony!

    Post # 12
    Member
    3097 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013 - A court...

    Personalized! I think they are cute as long as they’re not too mushy (I am a very private person so I’d NEVER do personal ones)

    Post # 13
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    @Westwood:  +1.  Personal vows make me uncomfortable too!

    I read a particularly terrible example of a modern vow in a magazine once that made me cringe – it was something along the lines of “You are my true love and my Georgy Girl!  I promise to keep supporting the local florist!  I love you because you don’t mind cooking for me and doing the dishes!”  Ugh.  No.

    ETA:  Sorry, those were two separate points.  I don’t like the soppy personalised vows, and I also don’t like the “funny” modern vows.

    Post # 14
    Member
    6960 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @This Time Round:  Also…. I went to one wedding with personalized “vows” and while the groom said some short, sweet promises the bride launched into this 20 minute speech full of metaphores of bad relationships. “Relationships are like islands in the sea… you brave the crashing waves to get to an island but find that there is no shelter there so you swim out again… the next island is full of wolves…. there is no food…. the sun beats down on you…..” I assumed she’d get to the “perfect” island or at least an island upon which she felt safe but no. The end of the speech was “… and then you pull your tired body onto another island and, though it is not perfect, you are too tired to brave the waters again and so you make it your home.” End of “vows”. Seriously, she just stopped, put the paper away and stared at her groom. So incredibly uncomfortable. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    918 posts
    Busy bee

    @MexiPino:  So she took 20 minutes simply to tell her groom that she’s settling by being with him, and she did it in front of everyone?  Yikes.  Are they still together?

    Post # 16
    Member
    7193 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I voted mixed. In theory, personalised is better. In practice, they’re often a bit too mushy and make me cringe.

    We did mixed and received a lot of positive comments.

    But I’m just a guest so my opinion doesn’t matter.

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