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Our original plan for favors recently fell through, and putting together a replacement so last-minute is tough - time/money/transportation concerns, etc. My parents and BMs keep telling me to just forget about them - no one cares about favors! But my FI is concerned that people might be offended. So, I'm wondering, have you been to a wedding with no favors, and did you care? What did other guests say? I'm afraid some of the older, more traditional guests might get upset.
PS I know a bunch of bees are forgoing favors at their own weddings - what I'm curious about is your experience as a wedding guest :)
As a wedding guest, I really don't care about favors. If they aren't edible, I'll likely leave them or throw them out at the hotel anyway as I've never seen a non-edible favor that I would use for anything after the wedding. They'd just take up space in a drawer so I don't ever let them get that far.
I dont really care about favors... i think we've decided we're not doing them. I mean.. what am I supposed to do with a glass etched coaster with another couples names and anniversary? No thanks!
I had just been invited to an awesome party with great food, drinks, company, and entertainment. I was not concerned about not getting a take-home cookie at the end of the day :-)
I'm still wavering on whether I want to do favors or not, but I think most people really don't miss having them.
I love food/ candy favors! I would be sad if I was at a wedding that didnt have some food/ candy favors, I know thats the first thing my mom does at weddings eat the favor!
I like favors - they're a good conversation piece. They give me something to remember the wedding and the good times by..I know where each of my favors is from and the good times had at that wedding. Edible favors give me a way to enjoy something sweet the next day - I was in a hotel once without continental breakfast, and ate the favors for breakfast!
Personally I agree with everyone who says music/food/drink is enough - I mean, we're having a full open bar, an awesome DJ (one of our splurges), and a yummy dinner+dessert. Is a trinket/treat/etc that important?
But clearly some people do care - even my little poll shows that. I'd love to understand the rationale behind those "noticed and did care" answers!
I think it's one of those things that you don't notice if they're left out, but they can really add to the experience if they're there and done right. We're doing small bottles of my FI's favorite hot sauce from his favorite local Mexican food joint, and I think friends and family that know us will just think it's perfect. Those who don't know about his obsession for this place probably won't care one way or the other.
I just like favors that are really personal, though.
I could not care less if there are favors or not! I always appreciate a cute favor, but I don't even feel like I'm missing out if there is one. And for the most part, even the nice favors get tossed in the junk drawer. We didn't do favors at all. So I obviously recommend not doing it. From both sides, as the bride/groom and as a guest- its not that important at all!
I feel like favors usually go to waste. I always see them left on the table at the end, unless they are edible. I don't care if there are no favros. I don't think it's necessary. I've actually heard that favors are a somewhat newer trend, I cant remember where I read this, but I think back in the day no one even gave favors, as weddings got more elaborate tehy started to include them, but if your worried about mroe traditional guests, I think they won't mind because they may not have even done them at their own wedding.
I usually notice if I receive a favor or not, but I don't really care if I don't get one. At the last wedding I went to there weren't any favors and I didn't remember that they didn't have any til many days later. At another wedding the favors were little bags of coffee, but I don't drink coffee so I didn't take one.
I think the best favors are something I can eat immediately - like on my way home from the reception otherwise it usually is either forgotten/not ever used.
Eh, if you can't do it, don't worry about it. If you're really worried, here's a quick cheater's way of doing it:
If you have a reliable printer: get some business cards (like from Staples or Walmart) print on them your names & date and maybe a cute clipart pic. Print 'em out. Punch a hole in them. Wrap candy or cookies from wal-mart or whereever in tulle and voila - instant favor. Just attach the "card" to the favor when you tie it with yarn.
Or you can do the same with those cheap bubble kits that you can get from wal-mart, michael's, etc. just write your names & date on the little stickers, stick 'em on the bubbles, and hand 'em out. who doesn't like blowing bubbles? ;)
otherwise, don't worry about it. I doubt anyone will really notice or care. :)
As a guest, I would notice, but I wouldn't care. I am fine with dinner, drinks, cake etc.
@GirlWithARing: What kind of dessert are you having? If you are having a dessert buffet, buy one of those cute white cake boxes or something, slap a little picture of you and your DH on it, put it next to the buffet as their favors with a lil' write up on the side saying that it's their favor.
Thank you for this post! I've been wondering the same thing.
Personally I wouldn't care if there were no favors. I do worry that someone might, though.
I haven't gotten a favor at the last few weddings I've attended, and I hadn't really thought about it or noticed till now. When I have gotten favors, I have thrown them away (sorry to admit that...). What matters much more to me, as a guest, is that the atmosphere is fun and the party is planned in a generous fashion.
I'd honestly appreciate it more as a guest if there weren't any favors...unless they were edible. I <3 edible favours.
Truth be told, I've never been to a wedding without favours haha.
I know we're considering not having them, because really, if they're not edible, what are you going to do with them? However, we're planning on having like, a late night snack bar (baked goods), so why would we give them more goods for the ride home?
We are just doing the photo booth and the guest can take home their pictures so that will be their favors. It will have our name and wedding date on them. Hopefully they take two so they can stick the other one in our wedding book.
I have been to several weddings without favors, and I never really thought about it until you asked this question. As a guest, I would prefer no favor, unless it was edible. I am a minimalist, so I would not keep any little trinket around unless it was very practical/I needed it.
I've never been to a wedding without favors; having said that, I've never been to a wedding where the guests cared about favors ;) I've seen plenty of tulle-wrapped Hershey's Kisses left behind. Don't worry, no one will care!
I would never care if there weren't favors. Most I have seen were not something I would want - even the edible ones.
I'm a big fan of the "donation made instead of favors given" idea.. that's what we will be doing. you could always do that real quick, last minute, and just made a small donation to a charity that you and your FI care about.
I never notice favors that are missing. I ALWAYS notice favors that are cheesy/pointless/or not universal in flavor. If there's a favor in front of me that is any of those (which 90% are) I only think, "what a waste."
I agree with the girls who say I would notice.
I don't know that I care, I do know that tradition in my family says "there are favors". We went simple and homemade & made cookies & wrapped them in cellophane w/ ribbon. The wedding I went to immediately after had no favors.
I think that recent brides would notice, but most younger people don't care. It's the older people who are more in the tradition of no favors & would probably wonder what happened.
I either wouldn't notice or, if I did, would be psyched about it. I live in a tiny apartment and hate stuff and all our friends'/families' weddings require travel. No favors = no stuff taking up space. Edible favors are nice in theory, but I don't like most sweets and they're rarely something I want. (I would rather fill up on entrees and apps!)
This is interesting...I'm considering totally scrapping the idea of favors now. More money for other things!
Um, before I started planning my wedding, I had no idea weddings were supposed to come with favors. I mean, you're FEEDING me - I'm happy!
One wedding I went to they did the boxed up extra cake thing, and I was super excited, like, "ooooh you mean I get to take another piece home!? SWEET!" and then promptly ate it in the car on the way home. :)
i could care less about favors. i don't miss them if they are offered and i usually end up losing mine/forgetting them if they are at the wedding.
I am doing M & M's (our colors black and fuchsia) and a little note card saying that ilo favors we are donating money to the Huntington's disease society of america. Guest on my side know that my father passed away from the disease and I think they would appreciate that the money was going to a good cause.
Favor - shmavor. As a guest I could care less about a favor. If I were a guest at your wedding, I would prefer that you spent your money in a place that you could use it, rather than on me! ( You are already paying for guests food & drink!!)
Agree with other posters, if the favors will cause you that much stress, then there is no reason for you to feel like they are absolutly necessary. In fact, I would not be surprised if the trend of favors starts to fade out, since it seeems like the arn't worth all the money and effort, and are often thrown away.
What caught me by surprise was when you said your hub was afraid some would be offended! Offended??? You or your parents are spending a BOATLOAD of cash to throw a party for them to enjoy. How RUDE of them to be offended that you didn't spend hundreds more on a little something they may or may not eat or cherish forever!
Whew. I feel better now. Anyway... I wanted favors for my daughter's wedding. She saw these totally cute damask candles and I wanted to get them but we have over 200 guests and the favors are over $2. NO WAY. So, as most of her/our friends are Christians, we thought a nice bookmark would be neat. I made up a damask and red design with a nice verse on one side and a little pic of the b+g on the other with a little thank you. That will sit next to the napkin wrapped silverware on the plate and on the other side will be a couple little dark chocolate kisses. Appropriate sentiment (kisses) and a pretty purple color that matches the decor.
I really like the chocolate chip cookie idea with a tag. If we weren't having a dessert table, I would definitely do that. It would have to be a great cookie though. So easy to give a little something as a treat and match the colors and personalize it with a tag. Go with that one, or none at all. Aren't you already feeding them cake?
I think the more personal to the b+g the better, whether a personalized tag or sticker, or as one said, the hot sauce or whatever you are known for.
I've been to weddings where there were no favours and I don't remember noticing it until afterwards. On the other hand I've been to weddings where there were favours and I wished they had forgone them for various reasons.
I wouldn't care if there weren't any favours. However, if you are worried one thing that happens frequently where I'm from, is the couple getting married makes a donation to a certain charity, and then posts a sign near the guest book that says something like: "In lieu of favours a donation has been made by the bride and groom to ____________________________ on your behalf".
Ex. My grandfather passed away of a heartattack shortly before my brother and SIL were married. My SIL's father has also suffered (and survived) 3 heartattacks. They decided to make a donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation rather than spending the money on favours. Guests were quite accepting of the idea.
Something to consider...
You can always print up a note to put on the table saying in lieu of favors, you made/are making a donation to ___________ charity. I think that's money better spent anyway. If that's too much work, you can just print one copy and put it in an 8x10 frame from the dollar store and display it on the table with the guests name tags.
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