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As the bride, can you insist etiquette is followed?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    Stephanie10221982    July 24, 2010  

    Hey Fellow Bees ~

    I have some very sweet women offering to throw me a large bridal shower at my church (larger than our guest list). I know etiquette says that only invited guests should be invited to showers, but my question is ... do I insist etiquette is followed?

     

     
    2.
    5,478 posts
    Bee Keeper
    lilyfaith    June 23, 2012   Lakeview, Chicago

    Hmm, in this case, I'd say to them that you'd appreciate if they'd only extend the invitations to wedding guests as you don't want to make the other individuals feel bad. Hopefully you won't have to push it further? 

     
    3.
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    Bee Keeper
    Future Mrs. Martin    August 21, 2010   London Ontario Canada

    I would definitely say something - I really like Lilyfaith's suggestion!

    I think if you say it politely they will oblige!

    Good Luck!

     
    4.
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    Bumble bee
    AzinAugust    August 2010   Sedona, AZ

    I agree with @lilyfaith, just say you'd appreciate it, and that you wouldn't want any guests put out because you're unable to invite them to your wedding.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Anonymous      

    I would definitely suggest it, but really, they're going to have final say. If it's friends or family of theirs that they know probably won't expect an invite, that know you and want to do something nice for you, then I think it's probably just a sweet gesture.

     
    6.
    Hostess
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    Buzzing bee
    chelseamorning    November 1, 2008   Washington, DC/Atlanta

    I think you are within your rights to say something, but that there is also something of an exception to this etiquette rule for church and workplace showers. You can have a shower in those contexts without everyone assuming that they are invited; just put the word out that you are having a smaller wedding (assuming that that is the case) and they will connect the dots.

     

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