Weddingbee boards

...I would like to complain about Mike's relatives' behavior at the wedding. Highlights include:

-Mike's uncle RSVP'ing yes, than calling to say he's NOT coming, than calling again to say he IS coming. We put him down as a yes. Guess who didn't show up?

-Uninvited guest from his Mom's side comes, grabs chair and place setting from another table, and squeezes in at a full table.

-Mike's gross aunt loudly announces she is not wearing a bra.

-Mike's a-hole uncle throws a bun at my head during dinner. It misses and hits the glass wall behind me with a loud thud.

-The attire!  Oh my god.  Tevas, flip flops, sneakers, shorts, jeans, t-shirts. 

-Aunt and Uncle show up with clown costumes and stuff to make balloon animals, even though I specificially told them NO balloon animals. Someone makes a balloon penis and places it on my table.

And the worst:

During our first dance, about 30 seconds in, Mike's gross uncle tackled him and locked a ball and chain around his ankle. Then gross aunt and crazy aunt tackle me and put an apron on me. Then I am told I have to find the key to get that effing thing off Mike. Thanks for ruining our first dance, assholes. After they left, I had the DJ play it again for us so we could enjoy it.

I mean, this was a formal affair and these are grown adults who should know better!  Mike's Mom was all "I hope that didn't ruin your first dance".  Um, of COURSE it did!  The children were better behaved than some of his aunts and uncles.

None of it really "ruined" the wedding and I still had a great time, but seriously.  Adults should know how to behave at a wedding.

My friends all said I was very gracious, but I secretly wanted to stab everyone.  I mean really - bun throwing?  CLOWN COSTUMES?  The ball and chain thing pisses me off so much.  We're equals!  I don't "have him by the balls" or whatever outdated crap they believe.

Oh, totally.  I've never seen him in anything but a deer blood-stained flannel and he's gross and racist and makes horrible comments.

I can't get past CLOWNS!!!!  Oh my goodness.  That's terrifying!

"That's just how they are" is what is often said about Mike's relatives.  Mike's parents are kind of strange too.  Nice, but strange.  They got us a shopvac as a wedding gift?  Neither of us are the slightest bit handy.  I guess it goes great with the circular saw they got him for Christmas.

I don't know what my family has to say about it.  I'm hesitant to talk to my own Mom about it because she can be really negative and also a gossip, so it's hard to trust anything she says.   My Dad is too nice and won't say anything worse than "they acted like a bunch of knobs".  Ha.  At least I have my friends to be indignant on my behalf.

@Melissabegins - Marc Jacobs bag!  Hahaha.  It wasn't really to make up for that, but he did buy it for me on our honeymoon.

I just talked to my Mom, and she said she told Mike's Mom it was tasteless and she didn't care for it.  Mike's Mom said that it's a family tradition and everyone else thinks it's funny.  GREAT tradition there.  I hate to say this, but that sort of thing might fly at one of their upnorth-fried-chicken-banquet-hall-football game playing in the background-weddings but not here.  There's definitely a difference in culture between the area they're from and Milwaukee.