Post # 1
I look at some of the weddings on here and I am just shocked and amazed at what people have done. They are “picture perfect” in so many ways.
Has anyone ever felt that their wedding just didn’t measure up? Are you ashamed to share photos since you feel your wedding is not good enough?
I am going to put a poll on this so that people can vote anonymously.
Post # 3
No matter what…a wedding is about two people, in love, committing to spend the rest of their lives together. No one should feel bogged down or “ashamed” because of details, which are nice, but not really important in the grand scheme of life.
Post # 4
@PinkPinstripes: Very true! But that still doesn’t mean that there can be a feeling of inferiority. One person’s idea might seem tacky to another. That word gets used so often on here. I think it needs to be banned…lol.
Post # 5
Just because someone’s wedding appears “picture perfect” on WB does not mean that they necessarily had a perfect wedding. Maybe there was drama or there were actually some things they didn’t end up being too pleased with, like they didn’t finish a certain DIY project on time and so they had to leave that detail out and stressed about it. As PinkPinstripes mentioned, weddings are about the marriage taking place. Years down the road, if someone asks about your wedding, you’re not going to tell them about your awesome accessories or beautiful centerpieces, you’re going to talk about the memories that were made and how joyful it was.
Post # 6
Oh, I don’t know. I think you can love the emotions of your wedding (the vows, your FI in a suit waiting to see you, sharing the moment w/ loved ones) and still not like how some of the details came out. I’ll admit it. I was embarrased at how some things turned-out. I thought it could have been more cohesive and that the main person helping me disregarded my plans. My ceremony was wonderful~ the reception… meh. I’m just glad I live in a small town and no one really cares about “the look.”
Post # 7
@florence: Oh I am not disagreeing that there might have been behind the scenes drama. It just makes me wonder how many people on here do not share their photos because they are afraid someone will think their wedding was not “equal” to someone else’s.
@jjmomma: That was my point. How many people feel that way that yes the wedding was great but there were elements that they wished were different because of time, budget, etc.
Yes the wedding is about the commitment to each other, but let’s be real. Not everyone has that wow factor at their wedding. Not everyone is ok with not having that wow factor at their wedding. How many people do not put pictures up of their wedding because they considered it “average”?
Post # 8
Not going to lie; I’m struggling with this right now. My wedding is in 2 weeks and I’ve become so anxious about it being subpar. FI and I are on a very modest budget. We’ve cut corners anywhere possible and I’ve DIY’d several projects to help, but I’m just afraid that we’ve stretched everything too thin. I’m completely paranoid that it’s going to be a train wreck and all of the 100+ people who attend are going to be absolutely appalled at our horrible little sideshow of a wedding. My anxiety has eaten at me to the point that I’ve been subconciously avoiding anything wedding related.
Logically, I know that it doesn’t matter what other people think. The important thing is that I’m finally going to be marrying the man I love. BUT logical thoughts aren’t my stong suit. That irrational fear just keeps worming it’s way back into my brain to spoil the whole thing. Ugh!
Post # 9
If someone doesnt like the way my wedding turns out that is their problem! My wedding is my Wedding and its what I want no one should make me feel like my wedding (Or anyone elses) isnt good enough!
Post # 10
My husband and I were worried about this. We had a lot of little projects that we weren’t sure what people would think of them. We had stuff you almost never see, like a shave ice vendor and legos in the shapes of chinese characters that are typical for a wedding. Every time we thought we’d gone off the deep-end we tried to ask ourselves what we would think if we saw these things at someone else’s wedding. That usually helped push us to either reign in our ideas to make them a little more refined or make them look BETTER than our half-ass first attempts.
I think what others have said is so true though, you never have everything go perfectly or as planned. I think the trick is to have a few projects that you are extremely proud of and then just let the day come as it will and make some happy memories. And don’t compare your wedding to anyone else’s once it’s over, because it’s yours and you did it–many people can’t even get that far.
Post # 11
As long as you’re happy with your wedding screw everyone else. Mine will not extravagant by a long shot, but its completely FI and I. A bit nerdy, dorky, fun lol.
@MrsKubes13: *HUGS* I love DIY, were doing that too in alot of ways :). You and your hubby are going to have a great time and that’s all that matters 🙂
Post # 12
P.S. I think the easiest way to avoid this feeling too is to make sure you get really good value out of your vendors. Nothing can piss you off faster and make the day feel subpar than not getting what you wanted/paid for. Make sure to get referrals, meet and test all your vendors beforehand–get samples, do trials, send pictures, and communicate whenever possible. And hire people that are passionate about what they do and not just into contributing to wedding factories!
Post # 13
It has crossed my mind to be nervous about this…
but then FI reminds me that we’re not getting married to put on a big show for everyone else.
Ultimately a WEDDING is only one day in a MARRIAGE…
Anyone could have a beautiful wedding and a complete and total train-wreck of a marriage.
My wedding may or may not be a glorious and beautiful…but I know DAMN good and well that my MARRIAGE will be!!!!!!!!
Post # 14
@MrsKubes13: Everything will turn out fine I am sure! Everyone has concerns that this that or the other will not turn out like they envision. In my case as we were setting up I took a blase attitude about things and I can;t go back and change it now. But I was not going to get stressed over all the last minute details.
@MsPanda: That is a great attitude to have! Now spread that around…lol.
@Sn2bMrs.B: Honestly it should reflect the couple getting married. It should be what they want.
@shavri: You should do all of that. But what happens when you have 400 for a photographer and want 4k pictures done? You will never be happy with what you have.
@Baby_Diva: This is very true and a great attitude to have!
Post # 15
I’m a little nervous about feeling like my wedding will be subpar. I hope that the day of I’ll be so giddy with excitement about marrying my man that I won’t notice the imperfect decor and anything that could go wrong.
Post # 16
I’ve been to over-the-top weddings as well as very low-budget affairs. In all honesty, I am much more impressed by things the couple does to make their relationship, their wedding, and the foundation for their marriage stand out. Such as writing their own, heartfelt vows, playing meaningful songs or including sentimental poems/readings, giving a heartfelt thank you toast at the reception, etc.
I don’t like “cookie cutter” weddings where things are completely impersonal and reflect nothing about the couple. Add in touches of yourselves as a couple. Honestly, my favorite moments from our wedding included our personalized vows, two solos by a friend of the family which were beautiful and he barely charged us anything for the service, and two readings done during the ceremony by my cousins. These elements (besides the solos) didn’t cost us a thing. However, after the ceremony, so many guests commented how intimate and warm the ceremony was, and how much it was a reflection of us.
There are so many things you can add in which make your wedding meaningful which don’t have a pricetag!!