- 7 years ago
This is probably not as complicated as I’m making it, but we’re trying to pull together two completely different cultures to make everyone happy… There’s my first mistake.
I’m Japanese, and Hubbs is Lithuanian. I have my immediate family nearby me, but the rest of my family is in Japan and neighboring states. His immediate family is nearby as well, but the rest of his family is in Lithuania. We visited them about six months ago and they informed us to send them an invitation ASAP, so that they can plan accordingly and attend. OOT guests, especially when it’s family is not the big deal. The problem is the LARGE Lithuanian community that resides near, and is friends with, his parents. If they are not invited, they will be GREATLY INSULTED.
It’s not like we don’t know these people. They are a tight knit community and we’ve all helped each other with house projects, partied together for birthdays and have holiday get togethers. I have no problem inviting some, the ones that we are particularly close to. But when you invite one, you need to invite them ALL! ( I know that I don’t ACTUALLY need to invite them all, but the grudges are very intense….)
My parents do not party hardy. His parents do (not in a creepy, come-with-us-to-the-club sort of way). If 95% of the guests are going to be drinking and dancing, and the other 5% includes my parents and the waitstaff, I feel like I’m leaving them out?
How do I incorporate them? I know there is the classic daddy/daughter dance, but my dad threw his back out years ago, and we don’t want him to be in more pain than he’ll already be in. An all day event would be killer on him. And we already plan on having a toast of gratitude towards both sets of parents.