Post # 1
I saw another post regarding thank you cards and how long it is expected to be sent out and still be considered ok within the timeframe.. and it had me thinkingggg.. I only received 1 thank you card out of the 5 asian weddings I attended in the last 5 years!.. is this unusual? or it is just my group of friends that are unusual? lols
let me know your experience! would love to hear other bees opinion..
Post # 3
haha, that is totally typical of asian weddings. Of the 6-7 weddings ive been to, ive only gotten one thank you card…
Post # 4
@sunflower6813: thank you for the feedback! lols.. it is a reassurance for me that it is ok not to send one out as an asian bride to be jeje..
Post # 5
@lstyle25: I don’t really know… I’ve attended a few south Asian weddings and never received a thank you card. I’d probably default to the culture of your attendees though. If most come from a culture that expects thank you notes, 10 minutes to avoid offending your nearest and dearest sounds like a good use of time to me.
Post # 6
@SapphireSun: less than 5% of our guests are nonasian.. so we may do thank you crads for them.. i think the rest as asians wouldnt care much lols.. i may do one for the bridal party and out of towners though..
Post # 7
Yeah, I think traditional Asians dont normally do thank you cards. I think part of it is that they make sure to make rounds during dinner to each table to toast exchange congratulations and thanks you. And it’s pretty expected that guest will give cash, and in an effort for “face” usually a fairly generous amount. I almost feel like ettiquite lays more on the guests to give a nice gift than the recipient for give a formal thank you. We’re a little backwards like that. I went ahead and sent thank you’s to all the older generation Asians that werent ‘expecting’ one anyways.
Post # 8
@pinkshoes: oh wow reallyy??? what did you write if you dont mind me asking?? did you mention anything about the cash gift or let it be more vague, more of a “thank you for attending”?..
Seems to be it is easier if someone gift you “things” then i can refer to it and write something like “we will be enjoying very much the waffle maker you got us!”.. if you knwo what i mean lols..
Post # 9
I am clearly not an expert here, but a co-worker of mine married a man of Asian descent. She told me that at their wedding, all the guests would come up to the couple, typically, the husband, and place a red envelope (containing money) in the couple’s hands. The no one knew who it came from, how much was given from a specific person, and no thank you cards were expected.
I could be completely off-base here, but its possible that is part of a long standing tradition. But once again, I have never been to a wedding for people of Asian descent.
Post # 10
@lstyle25: Standard thank you for cash gifts. Thank you for celebrating with us and for your generous gift, which we will use to save for our future together. … I’m not even really sure that some of my relatives could read it. =)
Post # 11
@pinkshoes: lols i am sure if i do that most of my family would say “why you waste your money on the card” but deep down they were smitten jejejej.. but thanks though.. gives me an idea of what to write if we do end up doing it jejej…
@redness82: yeah they doo that a lottt but at least in my family we would write the family lastname… but then i dont think if other people put their names in it… hmmmmmm something to think about…
Post # 12
Interesting…. We sent thank you cards to everyone. The ones in the older generation we sent thank you cards written in Chinese to them. Basically we thanked everyone for their attendance if they attended and all of them, we thanked them for their well wishes and generosity. During the reception, we went to every table and toasted and thanked the guests; so we did both…cards and thanking in person.
The PP stating the red envelopes and dollar amount not being known is new to me! We tracked every single gift dollar amount from every single recipient. Most Asian families I know do this so they know how much to “gift back” when the time comes.
Post # 13
I’m Asian but DH is not. We had maybe 15-20% Asians at our wedding, including family members. However, our wedding was definitely totally Western in style. I sent them all TY cards. I thought it would be a nice touch. We still went table to table thanking everyone that came. Our message was TY for coming and for their generosity. It was great to see them. For the cash gifts from people who couldn’t attend, it was that we missed them and wished they were there but thank you for their generosity. I wouldn’t put TY for the cash or for $XXX.
The PP who said that their colleague got random red envelopes without names/cards is kind of unsual IMO. We had cash gifts from Asians of different ethnicities and they all came with a normal greeting card and names.
To be fair, out of the 5-6 weddings we’ve attended recently, we didn’t get TY cards from anyone. The only one we did get was for a gift we gave for a couple whose DW we couldn’t attend.