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why do parents go crazy around weddings? i've had more fights with my mum during the past 9 months of planning than the past 3+ years!
nybride- it's sort of the quintessential wedding thing, isn't it? It seems like it's almost expected that there will be some sort of familial let down. I'm sure it's multifactorial (what isn't).... but I can imagine that a lot of parents see this as the culmination of their hopes and dreams for their child as well as a last moment of control over their child's life.
I'm sure most of these fights come out of their ambivalence of letting go. I also think the stress must magnify pre-existing problems.
I tried to channel my most zen-like self over the course of planning, and still ended up with a pretty major family situation. You just do the best you can, right?!
nybride, my theory is that weddings are so emotional for parents that sometimes, they go a little nutsy. I know our wedding planning process turned my MIL, who is one of the sweetest ladies on the planet into a crazy person! I also think that weddings can put pressure on various family members. For example, I think my MIL felt all this pressure to be the perfect hostess for her family and guests. As a result, she stressed about every little thing--even though she wasn't at all involved in the planning process.
I feel like maybe everyone's experiencing so many emotions--happiness, excitement, anxiety, stress, etc--that sometimes that overflow of emotions can manifest in fights.
Just try and concentrate on how much you love your mum and how special she is to you. Hang in there. We've all been there.
I dont think its parents, I think its everyone! DH and I fought alot during wedding planning and it was mostly all wedding related. I think the stress just gets to everyone and when stress gets to me I get very frustrated and irrational at times. Your mom probably has had her idea of what kind of wedding you were going to have since you were little and it may be hard for her to let go of that now that you are planning your wedding. What are your fights about? Maybe shes upset she isnt as involved as she thought she would be? Plus if your parents are paying for the wedding, there are bound to be budget related arguements!
she had her "ideal" wedding with my sister - or so i thought.. it's been everything:
adding people i don't care (my sister's inlaws!) to the guest list after invites have already been printed - my parents had 2 months before that to confirm and reconfirm the guest list. they just said "take it from your sister"
insisting that all our siblings sit together at the reception - which led to 2 wks of careful negotiation on my part, only to have her say that she really didn't care about the seating
having me coordinate between her friends / guests who are coming - they need "special" attention to show the appropriate respect - but she's not reaching out to them herself.
her response on a lot of things is: "well there's plenty of time yet to decide that, we can play that by ear" then when i make a decision, she's all upset that it's not how she would have done it.
wedding's in under 3 wks. they're here for the week leading up to the wedding. i'm focusing on minimizing one on one time with her so i don't blow up at her. not ideal but it's just a survival thing at this point.
Give her a job. Something that will occupy her, but won't be detrimental if it doesn't turn out. I gave my parents the task of the welcome bbq, and they focused so much on it that they pretty much stayed out of trouble. Busy folks don't have time to get too upset or to yell at people ;)
My theory is that it's about appearances and other people will think. Since culturally this is the "last thing" you do for a daughter, as a parent (last big, public thing, of course) there's pressure that ranges from wanting to adequately convey your affection for your daughter (and their new husband) or son and new wife, to demonstrating how you are doing financially through your daughter's wedding, to wanting to show that your daughter (or son) is respectful of you and your wishes -- there are likely as many reasons as there are people out there!
Another element *might* be the re-living through the kids thing, particularly if the parents own wedding was not what they would have wanted.
That's just my 2 cents on the topic! 
i'm just going to tell myself to breathe and count to 10 - or walk out of the room. she was assigned the dinner party we're having in my hometown. but apparently that's not enough to keep her occupied! and since almost none of her friends, etc are coming to our wedding in ny, i didn't think any of it would matter but apparently it does.
things they should tell you when you get engaged!!
Why is having a Bio not such a popular thing on weddingbee? or is it just that I can´t find the extensive ones?
@ daniela.borrego - For me, I had done a bio on wedding bee but it didnt have too much early on because I hadnt had my wedding yet so it was all planning stuff. Alot of the stuff I wanted to wait until I had more pictures and experiences to talk about. Now I love adding stuff to my bio and am almost done :( I still have to do the rehearsal dinner but I dont have much after that. Alot of people did start getting bios up when they were featuring them on the blog, which they still do (but there was a bio post-a-thon type thing a month or so ago that really got me to posting). Maybe they will do one again soon?
I've been too busy blogging to have a bio- maybe some day I'll get around to it.
I've been very sporadic on my bio... And i'm having trouble uploading my pro pics. So I've kinda put it on hold.
I think because Bios are relatively new, a lot of us haven't gotten around to updating them. I've been meaning to spend time with mine, but I was waiting for all our pro photos to be done to add them in. This is good motivation--I should get on this!
@naangel55 Why can´t I see your bio? only your coments come up.
I'm waiting until after the wedding to update my bio. It will give me even more reasons to stick around here after the wedding!
I know I'm going slow on the bio part, but that's because I've been busy over the summer and also am going to take my time because I want it really cool for this site! I love WB and want to make a really good one!
Right now I dont think the bios and profiles for the boards are linked up together. You can search the bios by region here http://wiki.weddingbee.com/Bio_directory but the link to my bio is http://bios.weddingbee.com/profile/naangel55
I believe you can use the main link (bios.weddingbee.com/profile) and type in the username after to find peoples bios without searching by region.
daniela-
The 'how to find a bio' thing has come up a lot in the 'Ideas' section. I agree that you should be able to get to it right by clicking on a member's name! I have a pretty complete one but I don't feel like many people see it either!
Ok, I was doing it wrong, thanks!
Your train is gorgeous, by the way
I agree! That´s the only subject I think other wedding websites beat weddingbee on... just because I love to see real weddings, but now I know how to see them I will probably spend some time looking at them!
Thank you, that was my favorite part of the dress! BTW, yu can vote on the idea here to have the bios/profiles/gallery, etc linked (was posted by Mrs Cupcake: http://ideas.weddingbee.com/topic/master-profiles-for-bees-and-readers
Thanks!
JeniRae- I just want to say your wedding was amazing, so real and cute!
I also have not spent a lot of time on my bio... but I can't wait until those rainy fall days when I can spend time on it. My main hang up is re-sizing photos. It's such a little chore for me that I like to do it in batches.
Great points about bios though!
Oh man. My bio is important to me, yet I haven't updated it in weeks. :( Can't promise anything for a few more weeks, either.
We are taking our e-pics this week... that will get me started!
A Bee posted something about how to update the Bio, but I can't seem to find the post! It involved a lot of code, so I kind of glossed over it at the time. But now I want to do it! Does anyone know who posted it?
Ok maybe it wasn't the Bio I was thinking of...but for some reason, no matter how many times I post (even if its more than the people under "top posts"), I don't show up! Why?
I'm stumped on that one littlebug... I'm going to have to defer to the the tech gurus on this one :)
@littlebug - do you mean you dont see yourself on the leaderboard for posting on the boards? I looked at the leaderboard and you are number 93, with 8 posts today so it is registering your posts.
@littlebug- I think you mean a post a bee made about how to make a wedding website altering the code on blogger ¿?
Thanks naangel. There was only one time where I was actually supposed to be on the "top" board (haha it was like 6am, to be honest) and I didn't see myself.. Maybe I miscounted or something. Thanks! :)
Check out what area of the site you are in for blog posts. I noticed it counts by number per day per area. So like I might post one in the Michigan boards and one in the Reception boards, they show up seperately on the side column.
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