(Closed) Ask your family and friends for advice on naming baby or keep it secret?

posted 6 years ago in Names
  • poll: Would you ask your family and friends to helop you pick your baby's name?
    Yes I would like their input : (17 votes)
    16 %
    No I don't want anyone to affect our choice : (92 votes)
    84 %
  • Post # 3
    12904 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I’ll keep it a secret.  Honestly, I don’t want their opinions.  Just mine, and FIs.

    Post # 4
    5547 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    They will get told “if it is a girl, she will be x, if its a boy he will be ” but the only opinions that matter are.mine and Darling Husband

    Post # 5
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I wouldn’t ask because everyone has an opinion and I feel like it would cause tension/arguments over the name.

    Post # 6
    4109 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    We’ve already picked and I’m not even pregnant (YET). We don’t really care about anybody’s opinions on our name choices- we each just care that the other loves it equally.

    Post # 7
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    It’s possible to do both, they are not mutually exclusive.

    There’s a difference between asking, “We’re thinking of (name) for the baby, do you like it?” and asking something like, “We’re thinking of French names/names starting with L/flower names/old-fashioned names/names with three syllables. Do you have any favorites, or any you really dislike?”

    I think it’s smart to get input from friends and family – sometimes they think of things you’d miss. “Henry? Your husband probably doesn’t remember this, but his grandfather had a brother named Henry who was a little bit crazy.” Or whatever. They might point out good/bad associations with a name that you were unaware of.

    But everyone will have an opinion and some people will always criticize, so I do think it’s smart to keep the actual name a secret until the baby is born. You never know – sometimes when you actually see the child, the name you thought would be perfect just doesn’t fit. My friend’s parents decided they needed to change her sister’s name when she was 3 days old because they didn’t think it suited her. Another friend of mine had a name all picked out and ready to go, and when her son was born, she and her husband looked at him and said, “Nope, that’s not his name. What about … (name)?” And so that’s who he became. It was a good thing they kept quiet, too, because they were going to name him after one of his grandfathers. If the family had already known and expected that, they would have either been trapped into keeping a name they didn’t feel was right, or they would have had to deal with massive fallout.

    Post # 8
    5242 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would keep it a secret. Even from my friends. I dont want other peoples opinions to bother me about the name I love and want to name my child

    Post # 9
    9142 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Just be prepared for negative comments on your choices.  As soon as you put names out there some people will feel obligated to let you know how much they dislike your choice.  Everybody will have an opinion but at the end of the day it’s your child.

    Post # 10
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t. Future Sister-In-Law is pregnant right now and the comments that she’s received about potential names are just ridiculous. They don’t know if it’s a boy or girl so at least that’s keeping some suspense but I’m sure if they knew that there would be even more opinions flying around.

    Post # 11
    5428 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I didn’t keep it secret, we just chose a boy’s name and a gir’s name and that was that, whoever came out, (we never found out until the baby was born) gentleman or lady got the name we picked out….

    Post # 13
    1318 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I wouldn’t ask, because they may have their hearts set on you using a family name that you have no interest in using. Feelings may get hurt either way, but if you don’t ask you can claim ignorance to their wishes. 

    Post # 14
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    We’re keeping ours a secret. I don’t need anyone else’s input but my DH’s.

    Post # 15
    6998 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I’ve definitely mentioned some names to my family and his. Not so surprisingly our parents do not like the name we picked for a boy but honestly I don’t care. I guess it depends on if you can take the weird looks they give you on a name you really love. for the record we are still going to use that name if its a boy…i could care less about their opinions on the name.


    Post # 16
    1029 posts
    Bumble bee

    I have one girl name picked out already, but I don’t want to tell anybody in case something happens and I can’t use it. The only person who knows is SO, and when he heard it, he said, “That’s what I was going to name my car!” Not anymore, pal. haha

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