Asked to plan honeymoon around a bridal shower?!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you delay your honeymoon a day or two for a family bridal shower?
    No : (45 votes)
    85 %
    Maybe : (4 votes)
    8 %
    Yes : (4 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    How much would you have to shorten your trip if you attend her bridal shower? Would your FI miss the first week of the spring semester if you pushed back your trip? I think you should delay if only because more people will be impacted by her moving her date than yours. Your decision to delay really only impacts you and your FI; but if she changes her date, that would impact her bridesmaids, your family, etc.

    I think if she’s asking about this in May, it’s not that inconsiderate. If she asked in November when you had already booked your honeymoon and expected you to change at the last minute, then that would be rude.

    Post # 3
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    If it’s a question of shifting it by a day or two, then I’d do it to keep the family harmony.  If it’s a question of cutting it short, then no… it’s a bridal shower; you can miss it and the world will keep turning on its axis.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I wouldn’t change travel plans if it meant shortening the honeymoon. It’s not like you are going to miss her wedding, or rehearsal dinner, or bachelorette party . . . A bridal shower only lasts a few hours . . .I think she is asking a lot.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1298 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    On a slightly unrelated note, having her shower over the holidays might be inconvenient for her guests . . . holidays are always super busy with family stuff, so she might get more declines than if she had it at another time. People might be strapped for cash as they will be buying Christmas gifts for family/friends, then have to fork over some more money for a wedding shower gift . . . 

    maybe you can tactfully mention this to her as reasons to have it closer to her wedding?

    Post # 7
    Member
    1441 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    HeartsandSparkles:  I’m not having a shower so I am not aware of when they should happen in relation to the wedding, but that aside – if that’s the only time you can take your honeymoon, then it is, and she can plan away knowing that you won’t be there.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1344 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    Considering your time limitations, I personally would not shorten or postpone your honeymoon. Like PPs said, it’s just the bridal shower, not the wedding. She will be fine (or she should be). 

    Personally, I wouldn’t delay the honeymoon simply because life gets busy, finances change and then your opportunities to take your honeymoon also might change.

    Post # 9
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Sorry, I guess I was confused about how much time you would lose; I thought you hadn’t booked anything yet and had some flexibility. I didn’t know if you would actually lose time or if you simply had to push it back. If it were my sister, I would try to make it, but you do you.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1168 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    eehhh its a sticky situation, it really depends on how close you are with her. If it was your sister, Id say postpone, but a cousin… it really depends on the relationship. If you can postpone try to, but if you really want to go on our honeymoon do it. She should be understanding as to why you wont be there. Being a bridesmaids, yes you should try to be at all pre-wedding events but sometimes its just not possible. Dont let anyone make you feel guilty. She shouldnt be asking that of you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think that honeymoon trumps a bridal shower, hands down. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    eilean:  It sounds like her husband has a school break and has to be back by a certain day that can’t be pushed back.

    Post # 13
    Member
    42453 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I wouldn’t shorten my honeymoon to attend a cousin’s bridal shower.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1136 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2015

    HeartsandSparkles:  I’d only delay it if doing so had no impact on the honeymoon itself (i.e. you picked the leaving date out of thin air and could leave any time)

    If it was going to cost more/shorten the trip etc. then no, I wouldn’t be changing my honeymoon! Why does she need to have the shower so early anyway? It sounds like she asked because she really wants you there but personally, I wouldn’t be asking anyone to delay something as significant as a honeymoon!

    Leave a comment


    Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

    Find Amazing Vendors