Asking BM and GM to play ceremony music–what do you think?

posted 3 years ago in Music
Post # 3
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think it’s a lot to ask personally. 

Post # 4
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsRevolutionize: Do it!

We did something very similar and it was one of our best decisions!

My SIL is a professional musician (for the Canadian bees, she was up for a Juno this year – so she’s good) and we paired her up with my little brother and his best friend. His friend is in school to become a music teacher, but my little brother has just been playing in small bands for fun. They played Pachelbel’s Canon in D as we entered (the guys on guitar and my SIL on violin) and then she played two more songs as well – one of them on mandolin. 

For the part they played together, they practiced individually beforehand, talked about it through Skype and then rehearsed it in the church the day before the wedding. It was BEAUTIFUL and so personal. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

 

After thought: As my SIL was traveling all the way from Canada to Sweden we had to make arrangements in terms of her instruments. You can’t really bring a violin, a guitar AND a mandolin with you. Fortunately my brothers’ friend was able to hook her up with a nice guitar, so that helped a lot. She just needed some time with it to get adjusted to it.

 

Post # 6
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper

My bias is that a guest, even someone in the wedding party, is a guest.  Unless you talk about doing something like that and they actually offer, I would not impose.

Post # 7
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MrsRevolutionize: It was, and they were so happy doing it. I think for my SIL it was a much more comfortable thing to do than helping us with a reading or standing up as part of the wedding party. She mentioned multiple times that she also enjoyed meeting up with my brother and his friend and play with them – I think she considered that a bit of a fun adventure!

In terms of approaching them, we simply asked if they would be comfortable doing it – as it would mean a lot to us if they did (but no pressure, we would have understood if they had said no). Everyone said yes happily, and they even offered to play the recessional. Now, we opted for the church organist, but I think it shows how much they loved being part of it all.

And the practice round in the church still makes them all break down into tears of laughter. My brothers friend tried to turn on the sound system and accidentally rang the church bells.  Since there’s never any service at that time on Fridays we can only speculate what the villagers thought. We suspect they were afraid the Russians were invading! 🙂

Post # 8
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@MrsRevolutionize:  It doesn’t hurt to ask. If it is only one song, I would be willing to bet they would. If it is the whole night I wouldn’t becuase you want them to be able to enjoy the party. One song-cake. If they are musically inclined it doesn’t hurt to ask.

Post # 10
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

So you want your BM to show up with a keyboard and speaker equipment?  I think this is way too much to ask.  They are already doing alot to be in your wedding.  

Post # 11
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

As long as they are comfortable doing it I don’t see a problem.  I was at a wedding where the bride’s sister and friend sang and played the guitar during the sand ceremony.  The guitar player was very good, the singer… not so much! 

Post # 12
Member
8916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@MrsRevolutionize:  I think it’d be great, if they want to.  We have a lot of musical family and friends, and musicians are almost always excited to share.  (I wonder if these people saying “too much to ask” actually KNOW anyone who’s a musician?  You can hardly get them to stop playing in my experience!)

We had my cousin and uncle play acoustic guitar during the pre-ceremony cocktail hour, our friend play classical guitar during the processional, my husband’s brother play sax for the recessional, my husband’s bandmates and some friends jam during the second cocktail hour, and my huband’s band (with a fill-in drummer) play the reception.  It was SO great to have all the music come from loved ones.  

We did the same as @eocenia:, just asked if they’d be interested but of course no pressure, and they all pretty much jumped at the chance.

Post # 13
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@lolot:I wonder if these people saying “too much to ask” actually KNOW anyone who’s a musician?  You can hardly get them to stop playing in my experience!

+1! My SIL and my brother had so much fun playing together the days leading up to the wedding. We had a crayfish party two days before the wedding and they both ended up playing and singing for/with the rest of us. I’m so grateful they did do it, but I never felt like they thought we had asked too much of them.

Plus, we made it clear that if they wanted to do this for us that was all we wished for as our wedding present.

Post # 15
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think that sounds lovely, as long as they don’t mind!

Post # 16
Member
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@eocenia:  I am a musician.  I played at my sister’s wedding, and it was a lot of work.  That’s how I formed my opinion.

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