Asking favors of friends

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
42546 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

delovely13:  I think that’s what friends are for. As long as someone repays the favor when possible, I wouldn’t mind at all.

Post # 3
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

delovely13:  it reallllly depends on the favor and the friend. I think your situation is something that is pretty common, as in most people have had to do that before. Now, if your requests start to skew in the “unusual” category ( i.e. an acquaintance of mine asked me to accompany her to go press charges at the local jail for some stupid incedent), then I could see why he would be uncomfortable with it! 

Can you just arrange that next time your friend needs a ride to/from the airport that y’all will do the picking up and dropping off to make it more even and less of just a favor? Maybe you know someone who travels often or has something coming up?

Post # 4
Member
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

delovely13: So I get that you don’t want to park your car at the airport for the length of your trip, but you presented two very reasonable options after that and he shot down both of them. If I were you I would be upset too, why should you have to cave in and take the crap old bus when you could travel comfortable to the airport in a cab? It makes no sense to me and I would not let him get his way with this. Sorry, but he just sounds like an incredible stubborn, cheap, person.

As for asking a friend, most people are just happy to help out with airport trips. My husband and I often volunteer to pick up/drop off friends when they come in to the city – just because we know how much nicer it is to get into a quiet car than to have to continue to travel on the cramped busses. As you’ve helped out friends in the past, I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for and I think your husband needs to understand that there’s no shame in reaching out and ask for help every now and then.

Post # 5
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Wow, and I thought at first glance that I was going to side with your FI….

You have to get a ride to the airport to fly to your wedding!!!! Hell, I’ll do it!

But seriously, this doesn’t strike me as at all excessive. And I’m coming from the side of not loving to ask for favors. People actually like doing favors every once in a while. It makes us feel like we’re part of a community. ASK SOMEONE! Tell your FI you’ll give the person gas money. 😀

Post # 6
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

delovely13:  If it were me I’d just offer to pay for the taxi myself. A 15 min ride in a taxi can’t cost that much (compared to parking at the airport).

Post # 7
Member
8917 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

delovely13:  We are happy to ask favors from friends, but we are also the first people to *offer* help with moving, rides to the airport, setting up for BBQs and parties and weddings, taking care of pets, etc etc.  My husband says that he always likes to be one favor ahead of all his friends so he can call it in whenever he might need…

Post # 8
Member
6900 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I love to do favors for people, but rarely ask for one, preferring to save these up for “emergencies.”  I don’t think asking for a  favor is such a big deal, though I  would hesitate if these are people who never ask anything in return.  Personally, I’d  take the cab.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask H to compromise on that  if he’s also unwilling to ask for a lift. The city  bus with luggage and a transfer will not  be much fun. 

Post # 9
Member
5204 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

delovely13:  No, you are being reasonable.  I assume that his reservation comes from not wanting to feel vulnerable with friends and he probably has a harder time than others developing close friendships. 

I would settle this by giving you each the opportunity to veto one option, but no more.  You can veto the bus, he can veto whatever he would be most uncomfortable with, and then the two of you can choose one of the other options and move on.

Post # 10
Member
4641 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I ask favors of my friends (ie. help moving something heavy, help rehanging our tv, etc) and don’t mind being asked the same things.. Asking for a ride to the airport is a tricky one. It would really depend on my own schedule and whether or not there’s traffic.. I wouldn’t jump on doing this for someone and wouldn’t ask someone for this either.

I’d take a cab over a bus any day, and if we’re going away for 4 days or less I’d just park my car at the airport. Travelling to and from the airport is part of going on a trip and I hardly think jumping in a cab is a big expense when compared to the vacation.

Post # 11
Member
2474 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Uh, he’s being super over-the-top and dramatic about this. Asking a friend for a ride to the airport is no big. Take them out for dinner when you get back or something. I can’t count the number of times we’ve done that for friends, or they’ve done it for us (and that’s including to LAX, which is over an hour from us). 

Post # 12
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

WTF yeah he is being unreasonable.  It isn’t like you are asking a friend to loan you a lot of money or what not. A ride to the airport is not a huge deal to asking a friend to help with

Post # 13
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I feel like my moving karma is perfectly in balance at this point in my life, and I don’t intend to ask anyone to help me move or help anyone else move for the rest of my days 😉

As for the airport – I would go for the cab.  Or a car service.  But not the bus if you have to transfer!!!  And I’m much more like your FI – I HATE to ask people for favors.  Especially rides to the airport because it’s such a PITA in Chicago.  I always want to take the train because it’s easy and cheap, but H is kind of a prima donna so he always wins and we take a car service.

Post # 14
Member
1634 posts
Bumble bee

 

delovely13:  Personally I think your husband is being a little ridiculous. There’s NO way I would take a bus that increases your travel time that much, with a transfer and all your luggage… thats insanity. I like the PP’s suggestion about each vetoing one option, then coming to an agreement together. It’s not all about him, and he shouldnt get to decide on his own what you both can & can’t do, he has to learn to compromise a bit. Favors make the world go around, and i usually love driving people to the airport if its not a crazy early flight!

Post # 15
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m with your husband. I wouldn’t ask that of a friend, although I’d do it for one in a heartbeat. I just don’t ever want to inconvenience someone if I don’t have to. 

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