Asking for college savings instead of birthday gifts..rubbing me the wrong way..

posted 2 years ago in Parenting
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3280 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    College savings are pretty standard gifts for baby birthdays, although they shouldn’t be mandatory like it seems. I try to contribute to our nieces/nephews funds because it’s something that they will need in the future instead of toys they’ll be done with in a couple months, regardless of parent’s situations. If you want to get him something else I’d get a couple outfits or a giftcard to babies r us or somewhere. I’m also making a scrapbook for my nephew’s first bday which could be another option. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think asking for money in any regard is tacky.  This would absolutely rub me the wrong way, too! 

    Post # 4
    Member
    643 posts
    Busy bee

    JiminyCricket:  +1. I’m not a fan of people demanding gifts. By their very nature, gifts are what I choose to give. It would be totally different if you had asked, OP, but writing it on the invitation is so tacky. For me, I love to give people gifts that are appreciated but as soon as I start to feel obligated, I give nothing. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I personally always give money for a first birthday with those exact intentions. Most parents buy all the clothes the child may need and they always have tons of toys, so my gift is for when the child is older, they will need a good amount of money in the bank to help pay for their car and insurance as well as college.   I had an aunt who only put money in an account for me as a child and that alone paid for my first year of college. (Which was a long time ago, definitely wouldn’t pay for a whole year now with the cost of things!) On the other hand, you are the gift giver and you give whatever you want to give. Do whatever will make you feel most comfortable. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    5222 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I’m no fan of money talk in invitations, either. HOWEVER, I will say that I am much more apt to contribute to a college fund than a wedding fund. At least with a college fund, I’m investing in an education vs a wedding/honeymoon fund where I’m paying for your house or trip to Bora Bora. 

    Also, you don’t know their financial situation as well as you might think. Sounds like you also just don’t like the GF and that’s rubbing you the wrong way more than the invitation itself. Did they send these invitations out to every person they know or just family? If it was just family/close friends, I think that context matters. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1950 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I agree, super tacky writing they prefer cash on the invite.  But they probably have more than enough toys, clothes, books, stuff for the baby If they decided to write for cash.  My inlaws do the same thing- they make a lot of money and have sooo much baby stuff it’s ridiculous.  They didn’t write cash only on the invite, but when we asked what the baby needed, they said they don’t need anything!  If you dont feel comfortable giving a check or cash, can you buy the baby an ‘experience’? Like music classes, mommy and me class, something like that?  Or maybe a cd of baby music Or singalongs?  Or a gift card to babies r us or the like?

    Post # 8
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    Buy him a book.

    Post # 9
    Member
    579 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    1234sophia:  I think including it with the invite might annoy me slightly but my family have always been big believers in children’s gifts being money into a savings account for them, whether it is for when they are older or specifically for college, or books. When my parents’ godson was born, they opened a bank account for him with some money in, alll other gifts have been money into that account or books. I suppose for us everyone who knew my parents somehow just knew that books were a better gift than toys for us. It may have been word of mouth initially, but once we started reading my brother and i didn’t stop so I guess that played into it.

    Every child’s birthday we attend, either I do the cake or we buy them books. So I would be upset that they are saying we only want this. If it was more of an we would prefer it if he was given books or a donation to his college fund I might be less upset. That being said, I think a donation to his college fund is probably the best gift he could be given. I would take how much I would have spent on a gift and put it into the fund, if that falls below the “minimum amount” (that bit would piss me off), I would give it to the parents with the request that it be added to their next installment into the account.

    Post # 10
    Member
    5544 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Makes more sense to me than buying a baby another outfit or toy they will outgrow in three months. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    8071 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    so so tasteless to send an invite that reads like an invoice

    Post # 12
    Member
    637 posts
    Busy bee

    I like the idea of contributing to a college fund but I think it’s very tasteless to put it on the invitation.  They must know it’s tacky and think writing it like the baby would write it would come off cuter.

    I hate being told what to give as a gift.  

    Post # 15
    Member
    2205 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2017

    What did you plan on giving him before this came in the mail?  Give him that.

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