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Asking for Gift Cards on Wedding Website Instead of Registering?

posted 3 months ago in Gifts and Registries
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    1.
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    Worker bee
    gaucho25    July 28, 2012  

    Hi Bees

    Wanted to get your opinion on asking for gift cards instead of a traditional registry.  For complicated reasons, we don't want our date or location of the wedding to be public or searchable.  We are having a really hard time finding a store that will do this.  We will most likely register at one local store, but we have guests coming from all over the world.  The local mom and pop store is also a bit more expensive than the national chains (so guests might complain..though supporting local is cool)

    Is it tacky to just ask for gift cards?  My fiance and I also would generally prefer to pick out our own items when they go on sale or through special websites like foundry.com, gilthome.com (that are flash sample sales). We are also thinking of doing a honeymoon registry or a registry where you can ask for specific gifts (but are actually cash for buying museum memberships, special dinner, etc).  I don't want to seem like we are just cash hungry, but we also live in a small apartment.

    My mom still thinks people will want to physically buy gifts. Any opinions. And if you did go this route, how did you politely word it on your website?

    Thanks!

     
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    Helper bee
    june3012    June 30, 2012   Philadelphia

    I am using Newlywish.com for my registry and I have nothing but amazing things to say about it. They are both a nontraditional and a traditional registry all-in-one. It's NYC based, and has all local stores and activities, events, non-chain stores, and museum memberships for you to register for. 

    The customer service has been outstanding; I saw some charges I wanted in a local store in my neighborhood, emailed them asking about how a store gets on their registry, and within two days they were on there. Like I said—amazing. 

    They are NYC based, so I think it was cerated for the apartment/already living together/I have all the "things" I need/can fit in my place lifestyle. I'd definitely check it out, if I were you and since they are so great on replying, maybe you could ask to leave your date/location private...they seem super accommodating! 

     

     

     
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    Bumble bee
    les105    May 6, 2012  

    Can't you enter a fake date and location for your wedding? Are you having a shower? Perhaps use that date instead, or an anniversary, or whatever you'd like. I don't see how that would affect you registering or not. Also, I've never seen a registry that lists a specific location, only state from what I've seen.

    Besides that, I don't really think there's a polite way to ask for cash/GCs on a wedding website. And, I agree with your mom that some people may prefer physical gifts. Maybe do a small registry at BB&B. Their return policy is easy if you change your mind about gifts, it will appease the guests who want to buy physical gifts, and the size of the registry will let people know that you'd prefer cash.

     
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    Worker bee
    gaucho25    July 28, 2012  

    Thanks for the advice about the fake dates. I am worried that we might confuse our guests though. I'm not planning a bridal shower either.  

    But,I did make a call into Newlywish and they are looking into not having the date. Crossing my fingers it works out. It is pretty pricey, but seems like high quality

     
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    Bumble bee
    DaneLady    August 25, 2012   Virginia

    It's a little bit rude to ask for money, BUT, you can spread via word of mouth that you aren't registering but are saving up for <whatever> and people will be more likely to give monetary gifts.  It's a gentler hint than "Hey, give us a gift card :)"

     
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    Worker bee
    gaucho25    July 28, 2012  

    Spoke too soon. Newlywish can't do it.  Is it weird to register for a bridal shower?  I thought that it was rude to ask for gifts for the bridal shower.

     
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    Bumble bee
    DaneLady    August 25, 2012   Virginia

    The whole point of a bridal shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts she will need to start her life as a wife.  Obviously times have changed!  It's ok to register one time and refer people to that registry for both the shower and the wedding, as they are often fairly close together.  *(How it is not rude to refer people to a registry but it is rude to ask for money is completely beyond my comprehension, but that's just how it is)*

    What's rude is EXPECTING people to get you a gift, mentioning gifts on invitations, or asking for cash directly.  I don't think you're doing any of those things, but directly asking for gift cards kind of flirts with the idea that you are asking for cash... know what I mean?

     

     
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    Worker bee
    gaucho25    July 28, 2012  

    True. I am just not sure if I am having a shower (it's not really my thing and I don't have official bridesmaids).  But, I might get thrown one by my family because that is their kind of thing.

    How do people feel about setting up a wishlist instead on Amazon? So not putting in the date for a registry, but just having it be a wish list.

     
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    Bumble bee
    DaneLady    August 25, 2012   Virginia

    I don't think anyone would have a problem with that :)  Good idea!

     
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    Helper bee
    RunsWithBears    September 29, 2012  

    @DaneLady:  I agree with everything you said!

     
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    Bumble bee
    rebwana    July 13, 2012   Baltimore, MD

    I just checked two friend's registries from Crate & Barrel and Bed Bath & Beyond, and it just lists the state that gifts are shipping to, not the location (said Virginia, where they live, but their wedding was in Maryland.) They still have the dates, though- I don't think you'll be able to get away from that on any of the major registry lists. Amazon wish list is also a great idea.

     
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    Sugar bee
    atalante    May 19, 2012  

    Amazon is a good idea, and you can use their universal add button to put gift cards on there. My amazon wish list (for holidays, Birthdays, etc) has a spot for C&B gift cards).

     
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    Helper bee
    june3012    June 30, 2012   Philadelphia

    Dang! So sorry Newlywish couldn't accommodate you. It seems like such a small thing and crazy that no one can do it. I totally get what you feel about putting a wrong date. Can you maybe put your same day wayyyyyyyyyy in the future?

    I was also going to suggest to do an Amazon Wish List.

     FYI-BB&B gives cash back for returned items...

     
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    Newbee
    mbeeeee    February 11, 2012   New York

    true that BBB gives cash back but then the shipping money all goes to waste, plus then your friends/family don't have the fun of being part of what you really want (sort of like a bait and switch). have you heard of depositagift.com ? it's an awesome site that lets you register for cash towards anything: honeymoon, home down payment, activities, splitting up big ticket things like tvs and furniture. amazing customer service and really easy to use interface. based on what you're asking, i'd check it out.

     
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    Newbee
    melissa9876    September 7, 2011  

    Have you thought of using a cash gift registry site? There are lots of options out there to ask for cash tastefully. We're using Deposit a Gift and it's been awesome - put literally anything you can think of on it and your friends feel like they're giving something special, but you'll end up with straight cash. As long as you do it right, it won't be tacky at all.

     

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