Post # 1
So, have any of you bees asked that if your guests are indeed planning on getting you something, that they put it towards a honeymoon fund or something??
Is that rude??
I feel as if I have seen it on here before, but not paid much attention, bc I didnt think I would be interested in something like that.
Post # 3
Its not rude! What you could do is a wishing well (http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/weddings/wishing_wells/index.htm) They have poems you can include in you invitations that sound nicer. I think alot of people give money now instead of gifts. I’ve been to several weddings where is says right in the invitation “money, no gifts please” and no one seemed it was rude. I also let my parents know, so if family asks them for ideas, they can tell them cash if prefered.
Another idea is setting up an account for a honeymoon that people can donate too.
Post # 4
Everyone has different comfort levels with this. I personally could never do this. A honeymoon isnt something the guests should pay for. In the same way that you cant ask the guests to contribute towards the cost of the wedding, although I have seen a few people do that lately.
Post # 5
I created a small registry, and told my bridesmaids and family that we would prefer money because we don’t really need anything. I just let it take its course from there. Some people bought us gifts, and some gave money.
Post # 6
Personally, I cannot wrap my head around the viewpoint of honeyfunds being rude. I don’t understand the difference between asking guests to buy us dishes/a vacuum/a KitchenAid mixer/etc., and asking guests to contribute towards a trip we’d love and remember forever.
If someone thought that ALL registries were rude, since you’re basically telling guests what to buy you, THAT I could understand. I disagree, but I understand it. But a registry is a registry, and if you’d rather have an awesome trip than household items you don’t need, I think a honeymoon registry makes perfect sense. And as a guest at a wedding, I’d rather my hard-earned money go towards what the couple really wants, whether that’s a honeymoon or champagne flutes.
Post # 7
A lot of what we *really* need are larger items, like furniture, since we’re just starting out, so we have a regular registry and a honeyfund for people to chip in on actual furniture (instead of a honeymoon). Haven’t heard anything negative about it so far!
Post # 8
I feel as if some people would like this, and some people wouldnt. I have mixed emotions on it myself. Even though, if people dont want useless “junk” then why not just give them $$$. But, I only ask bc Fiance and I werent planning on taking a honeymoon. However, that has changed, not per our request, and my mom got us a partial trip. VERY thankful. I wrote another post re this. BUT, we need money that we werent plannig on now to pay for the rest of the Honeymoon.
SO – like I found a site called honeyfund.com
anyone heard of it?? Just wanted to get bees point of views. 🙂
Post # 9
I’ve heard of honeyfund. I think it’s a great idea. The only thing I don’t like is how they take minimum 7% of the money your guests give you for hosting a registry with them.
Post # 10
A lot of the sites do charge a percentage – we went with honeyfund because gifters can still give you cash or checks with a printed “certificate” from the site (no percentage taken by honeyfund) or you can get your gifts through Paypal if they want to use a credit card (in which case you only deal with Paypal’s 3% fee).
It “pays” to research the hidden fees, though!
Post # 11
@Ashley_B: I would be horrified if I received a “poem” asking for money in the invitation or any mention of any gifts whatsoever. I am cringing reading these poems!!
@ananeele: I wouldn’t register on a website that takes a percentage of the money that the guests give. I think it’s better to spread the info that you want money by word of mouth as you would spread the info of your registries. That way, you can choose to put it towards your honeymoon without having to go through a site that takes a percentage.
Post # 12
Etiquette changes over time, but very slowly. I am of the thought that it is always rude to ask for gifts whether that is physical gifts or money. Wedding gifts were always intended to help the newlyweds set up their home, not finance the wedding or the honeymoon. Many newlyweds today have already established their own home and don’t need things. That doesn’t automatically make it polite to ask for money instead.
If you don’t want gifts- toasters, mixers, linens etc, then don’t register. People will ask you or your family and you or they can just say that you have not registered anywhere. They will either get you a gift of their choice or send you a cheque.
Post # 13
I’ve been to at least 2 weddings that I can remember that have had honeymoon $$ requests rather than gifts….I don’t remember how they worded it on their cards though. I NEVER found it offensive/weird at all.
In our wedding, we didn’t have a registry because we wanted to VERY stubtley hint that we wanted money and it must of work because we got 80% checks and a few gifts (which we exchanged for things we actually needed).
Post # 14
It is rude to ask for money and that is what a Honeymoon registry is. People aren’t actually buying you a night in the hotel or a massage- you are getting cash. Tacky and I would side eye and not contribute to one if any of my friends had them.
Post # 15
- Wedding: January 2012 - Catholic Church, Chateau Thomas Winery
I really like the idea! If a friend set one up, I would rather give them an awesome experience instead of towels. My family is just getting around to understanding regular registries though and we didn’t want to confuse or offend anyone any more.
Post # 16
@Ms Bookworm: agreed.
I think wedding gifts are intended to help the newly weds in their new life. Not specific to houseware. Fiance and I already have everything for our apartment. And I mean everything. We are a military couple, so registering for a bunch of stuff that we have to carry from place to place is not the best idea for us. We set up a honeymoon registry.. but its like.. not donating money.. its a dinner here.. a couples massage.. a cruise.. etc etc.. so guests actually feel like they are buying an event instead of a toaster.