Post # 1
Traditionally I come from a family that gives money for weddings in the form of ang pow (traditional Chinese envelopes) and money dance (a Nigerian Tradition), however my fiance is American and I don’t want there to be awkwardness. I am certainly not dancing for money at my wedding… I think that would be way too much!
So I took a look at deposit a gift which is one of those websites that lets you guests gift money but they charge 7% and it seems it woulld be better to just get the money directly.
Additionally, my fiance and I will be moving 3 times once right before the wedding, once right after and then againg 4 months after so we really don’t want to be hauling around gifts and we don’t even know where we would get them sent. (We live in NY, his parents live in CA and my parents live in TX)
What are your thoughts? Should I just suck it up and get what I get? Is there some non-awkward way to inform the guests? Is it unreasonable to just return all your gifts and hold on to the receipts to re-buy them after we move??
Post # 3
Oh no…another “how to ask for money” post. Personally, I don’t think there is a classy way to ask for money. I tend to cringe at “Monetary gifts appreciated” in the invitation. Your call…but I would just spread your request by word of mouth through your parents/bridal party.
Post # 4
The most “tactful” way is for FMIL to spread the word to her side of the family that you will be moving and small gifts or cash is best.
Its not unreasonable to rebuy the gifts (other than a lot of work and if the stores will allow it), but maybe you could designate one spot to accumulate the presents such as the last place you will end up. Since you know you are moving 3 times I am assuming you know going. Is someone there that can receive your gifts and hold on to them?
Post # 5
I actually have NO diea where I will be going! We will be moving to Amsterdam in January, then we are getting married in Costa Rica, I am spending the summer in New York and I have no idea where I will be working after that…
I know there have been a number of posts about money but I coldn’t find anything that spoke specifically to the cross-cultural issue. But I agree there is no classy way to ask the Americans for money… Thanks ladies!