Post # 1
Hello. I am getting married in may 2013. I already have my maid of honor and matron of honor. I am having a hard time figuring out how to ask the other girls I would like to stand up in my wedding.
I have a hard time with friendships with women. The girls I want to ask are people I really care about and always have a good time with, but we do not talk on a regular basis. They also were close with my fiancé.
I know there are a lot of obligations with accepting to be a bridesmaid, but really all I want these girls to do is buy the dress and be there for me on that day, which, I think, they would have no problem with. I already have a make up artist and hair stylists that will take care of them on that day.
Where the difficulty lies is I do not want them to feel obligated to have me in their wedding parties when they get married. I am afraid they will say no to me because of this fact. I know they have sisters and other close girlfriends, and I do no feel like if I have them in mine, that they would have to ask me. I wouldn’t expect them to. I just want them there for us on our day.
What would be the best way to ask them and to assure them that I do not expect them to return the gesture (unless they really want to) in the future? Thanks for the help!
Post # 3
I think you’re worrying about it a little too much. Many people understand that fact that you can’t ask EVERYONE to stand up for you, and if it came down to it (where they didn’t ask you), you already said you won’t be upset. You reacting in that way would be just what they need.
Ask the girls that mean the most to you. They will be honored. Cross the other bridge whenever it comes. 🙂
Post # 4
I also think you are reading into it way too much!! If these are the girls you want to ask, their future weddings and potential bridal parties are not things you need to be concerned with. Go ahead and ask them — I am sure they will be excited to be a part of you and your fiance’s day 🙂 If you want, you can always throw in that you are not going to be a demanding bride and all you want is for them to buy a dress and stand there with you.
Post # 5
I agree. You’re thinking into this way too much. While I know I’ll be in two of my BM weddings, I doubt I will be in my 3rd BM future wedding. It’s okay. I consider the 3rd BM one of my best friends but I know she has other sets of friends in her city that she is closer to. She lives two hours away.
Anyways, you should ask who you want in your wedding. I really doubt they will be concerned with whose wedding they were in when their big day comes around. Like others said, they’ll be honored and excited!
Post # 6
I’ve been a maid of honour 3 times and a brides maid once and I’m not asking any of them to be in my bridal party. Unfortunately for me, they drifted away after marrying and having families and don’t really talk to me now. Two of the girls that I did ask are married and I wasn’t in their party.
I was nervous to ask a couple of the girls to be my bridesmaid because we on’ly talk every couple of months, but we are close. Each of them were so thrilled and excited to be asked. I had been feeling sad that I wouldn’t have those close girlfriend moments that I see on pinterest. However, when I heard their reactions when I asked, I started to feel like our wedding party would be really fun. Lots of giggling and excitement when I asked them. One even cried.