Post # 1
Need wording for how to ask groomsmen to pay us back for their suits. We live remotely so we paid for the 3 who were not in Boston. It was agreed and understood they’d all pay us back (and the sum was clear). They all have the funds to pay for it and I’m sure would be happy to pay once reminded (it’s likely more a “forgot” situation than an avoidance).
My Darling Husband for who knows what reason, did not follow up closer to the wedding (possibly because we were busy, but more likely because money talks are I agree, awkward) and now won’t because “it’s awkward.” I, however, can find many ways to use the $1000, including going into a house we’re looking at buying shortly. (Not to mention, it’s awkward to pay for only 3 of the 5.) They got *very* generous groomsmen gifts already.
Please note, to head off replies of this sort, let me be clear that I am not looking for advice on whether or not to ask, only how to ask. It’ll likely be over email.
Post # 3
Have your hubby give them a call with a follow-up email. He can offer for them to pay him through paypal or check and that he’ll send the email with the details. Also, check in so they know they are more than just a money problem.
Post # 4
This is a tough one. I really don’t know.
Post # 5
@icetea: We just met up with two of them for a weekend in NY (one flew in with his new fiance, other lives there), and the other is his brother. So I am pretty sure they know they aren’t just a check 🙂 The weekend would have been a perfect time, had I known he hadn’t yet followed up & it was still outstanding.
Post # 6
And I think the best way is by phone, because it’s hard to write it without it sounding like a demand. Darling Husband needs to get on the phone and say something like:
“Hi Steve, Joe here. Look, this is about the suits for the wedding. This is awkward but, you remember we agreed that the groomsmen would pay for their suit hire? And, the thing is, some of the guys have paid but you haven’t. Would you be able to fix us up for that?…”
It’s better coming from your husband, in the sense that it looks bad for him to get his wife to do it. I would give your husband a deadline (e.g. 2 weeks) otherwise you’ll get on the phone and ask them yourself.
Post # 7
@paula1248: Bought, not rented/hired suits (the whole idea being they’d be able to rewear them) as a side note, but I agree it’s better from him. When we spokeearlier, he said he’d tell me tomorrow if he would do it or would have me. I like the two week deadline though I think I’ll shrink it to one.
Post # 8
@kay01: Ah, I’d wondered why the suit hire was so expensive. Well that makes your job easier, because it’s asking them to pay for something they own. And unlike most Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, a suit really is rewearable. So now I’d change my suggested speech to something like this:
“Hi Steve, Joe here. Look, this is about the suits for the wedding. This is awkward but, you remember we agreed that the groomsmen would pay for their suits, since you get to keep them? And, the thing is, you haven’t paid us for yours yet. Would you be able to fix us up for that?…”
Post # 9
I don’t think it is awkward to ask when it has already been explicitly agreed upon. Therefore I wouldn’t recommend prefacing the conversation with “this is awkward” which only serves to MAKE it awkward.
Since you are just reminding them, I would do it over email for sure!
“Hi Fred, Thank you once again for being part of our wedding! You truly helped make it the best day of our lives. We’re just finalizing the finances, including collecting the cost of the suits from the groomsmen. The total cost is $300 – interac email money transfer would be perfect.”
This is tactful because it doesn’t make them feel like they dropped the ball by not paying yet. You’re framing it like the process is totally organized and nothing is up for debate.
I hope that helps!
Post # 10
Definitely agree. And perfect way to word too!