Asking guests to help out?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1823 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes, it would be rude to put your guests to work. Put yourself in their shoes, would you really want to be moving furniture when you’re all dressed up for a wedding? You should hire some people to do that. You can look on Craigslist or just Google event services in your area. College kids or neighborhood teens might also work, if you know they are trustworthy.

Post # 5
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Tigerlilybride:  I totally know how you feel with the guest list. My FMIL has added about 40+ people to ours! So we’re going to have to add chairs (if it gets much larger they will have to stand in the back). I couldn’t help that when I booked the church and I’ve already paid money that I can’t get back so at some point you just gotta say OH WELL and try not to worry about it too much (but that’s hard!!) 

As far as moving the tables to dance, you might could ask a couple family members who you know wont be in the kitchen to help out before the big day so they’re mentally prepared for it. When people see them moving stuff, hopefully the other guests will just help out!

As far as only have a few benches, I wouldn’t agree with that… the elderly and your parents/ close family would probably claim those seats and it might be awkward, with people not really knowing what to do when you walk in. Also, there might be someone who needs to sit down, but might not be willing to admit it. EX, pregnant, overweight, in uncomfortable heels, etc 

What you could do though is (if its an option) hire a day-of wedding coordinator that has a team of people to help, at the very least you could consult with one who can give you ideas on how to set up the room! 🙂 Hope that long reply helps! 

Post # 6
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Would I do it as a guest- sure because I wouldn’t want to be rude, would I be happy about it- no way especially if I don’t know you well.

 

Hire some college/high school kids to do it instead.

 

Post # 8
Member
1343 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Tigerlilybride:  A coordinator wasn’t in my budget either! We have to be out of our church decorations and all right after the ceremony too so I considered hiring one, but they can be pricey! So I just had to suck it up and ask family members to help right after! It shocked me how gracious they were. 🙂 At least to my face :p 

Post # 9
Member
7400 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@lolita39:  At least to my face :p

See that is what I said. I would suck it up and do it but I probably would find it rude and be a little disgruntled by it. Unfortunately our families and friends don’t want to disappoint us or upset usor ruin our weddings so they suck it up. They could also think that you might uninvite them or not send them an invite if they don’t agree to help out.

Post # 11
Member
3011 posts
Sugar bee

@Tigerlilybride:  this is a camp wedding- not a ritzy Waldorf Astoria wedding. It sounds fun and casual and I really can’t see why it would be a huge deal. 

Post # 12
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Tigerlilybride:  I wouldn’t give 2 shits if I was asked to move a couple of chairs at a wedding- not ever. No matter who or where. The few that don’t want to or can’t will be covered by the ones who will. don’t worry hon! Sounds like your wedding and friends and family are super cool. not everyone’s wedding on the bee is the same which means conflicting advice but like you said you read your guest list! You know them best!

Hey you know what? how about I come to your wedding, and me and the old man will move your chairs!!! 😉 haha

Post # 13
Member
2880 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@Tigerlilybride:  for a close friend or family member I would be more than happy to help out.

It wouldn’t hurt to ask I’m sure many people will be more than happy to help you out:)

Post # 14
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My uni friends helped moved tables for the dance floor, it took less than 10mins, not worth hiring extra staff for. They are all easy going and didn’t mind, just as I wouldn’t mind helping for 10mins at someone else’s wedding! I did ask a few of them ahead of time too.

Post # 15
Member
980 posts
Busy bee

It sounds like a relaxed, happy place and I’m sure your guests won’t mind moving a couple of chairs! Especially college students. It’s not like you’re asking them to cook or clean or anything! Moving/dragging a chair from the centre to the outside of the place isn’t difficult and wouldn’t take long 🙂

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