Post # 1
My S/O and I are discussing destination wedding ideas, right now mainly focused on where. Our guest list just includes 16 close family members. My S/O suggested that we rent a house so everyone can stay together and it’d be cheaper. I’m thinking I’d want the guests to arrive on either Wednesday or Thursday and stay until Sunday, Saturday would be the wedding. So my question is, would it be considered rude/distasteful to tell guests that they’d have to pay for the home rental themselves? My S/O and I would be staying at a separate location, but we’d have the ceremony at the vacation home.
Post # 2
I personally would find it rude if it was an obligation and not an option.
Post # 3
I don’t think you can really dictate where you’re guests are going to be staying unless you’re paying. Would it be possible for you and your FI to rent the house and invite everyone to stay with you?
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
You would essentially be making your guests pay for your wedding venue. I find that to be rude.
That said, friends of ours did just that. Everyone was required to stay at the house and pay their own way. But the bride and groom stayed at the house as well, so at least they bore some of the costs.
Post # 5
Do not do this. You can certainly suggest that there are house rentals in the area, which make the perfect option for groups to split, and let them make the decision.
Did you consider the fact that 16 people might not want to stay in the same house for 4 days?
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
ny88: We did this and we included it in our wedding budget since we used it for the wedding. I would never dream of asking guests, even family, to pay for a wedding venue which is what you would be doing.
Post # 7
ny88: Yes, I would consider that rude- esp if ya’ll aren’t even staying there. Essentially I would feel I was paying for my own lodging, in addition to your ceremony venue with little to no benefits. If ya’ll were staying there I would gladly pay as well to stay so I had more time with the Bride & Groom, but I’d much rather have my own space (house/rental/whatever) than have someone dictate it to me…
Post # 8
If you can find a place that will sleep that many people comfortably, and allows weddings, you could go ahead and book it, then hope that your guests want to stay there at the cost at which it is available.
If they don’t, you better be clear about the cancellation policy, or you will be left holding the bag for the rental.
I would only do that though, if you are either staying there yourselves, or paying at least the equivalent of one day’s rental for the wedding venue. It’s not up to your guests to pay for the venue.
Your idea of fun acomodations may be very different from your guests’.
Post # 9
ny88: I think the absolute MOST you can do is spread the word that if people are interested in a rental to let you know. That way it’s an option but they get to choose. I would just spread the word informally.
Post # 10
housebee: That was my original idea, but my S/O doesn’t want to be around the family. I’ve been having an uneasy feeling about asking them all along, so I decided to ask you Bee’s. I’m glad my doubts/concerns are realistic.
Post # 11
lovekiss: You’re absolutely right. I didn’t think about it in the sense that they’d be paying for our venue also. Nothing is set in stone yet. We haven’t even discussed engagement with anyone, we’re just tossing ideas around. I appreciate your comment.
Post # 12
It would be one thing to rent the house yourselves and then offer rooms to your family for $X amount, but to basically force them to pay for your wedding venue would be rude IMO.
Post # 13
ny88: why don’t you and FI stay there instead and let everybody else decide if they want to go in on a rental somewhere else?
Post # 14
Mrs. Fireworks: The more comments I’m reading the more, the more I’m agreeing wihh you all. The people that would be staying in the house would just be my S/O’s family immediate family and my parents. So his 2 sisters and their spouses and his parents and 1 set of grandparents, along with his nephew and best friend and wife. Ultimately, it looks like I’ll be having a conversation with my S/O tonight. Thanks for the post.
Post # 15
abbie017: I can see how it can be seen as an obligation, but our thinking was, it’s cheaper for them to rent a home together than to get hotel rooms, etc. We’ve been looking into pricing and the one house we’re looking at was just $100 nightly which would be a little bit over $300 for 3 night 4 day stay. In comparison to hotel rooms that are starting off at 200+ a night. This all an immediate/close family, so strangers wouldn’t be include. There are a lot of things that we are considering but, we’d never want our family to feel obligated.