- 9 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I have a potential budget issue that involves both my FI and my future FIL. Here’s the deal: my parents have already volunteered to "cover" the wedding (just how much they will contribute is unclear and is a whole other topic, but basically I think there will be a deficit that someone else will need to cover, maybe we will have to) and are also hosting a very large rehearsal dinner and welcome party for our many (150+) out-of-town guests, family members, and wedding party.
I know it’s normally tradition for the groom’s family to host the rehearsal dinner, but it’s in my hometown, so my parents wanted to do it at their home. And, my FIL–for whatever reason–is not really in the loop about those traditions anyway.
I would like to (a) give my FIL the opportunity to at least co-host the rehearsal dinner, in case he wanted to (my FI is his only child) and (b) also ask my FIL if he would consider contributing generally, because, you know… it’s kind of expensive, and he’s inviting a signficant number of people.
However, my FI doesn’t want to ask my FIL for any financial help. He doesn’t want to put his dad on the spot, and he doesn’t want to put his dad "out," and his dad works for a company that just announced it would be cutting 4,500 jobs next month, so maybe he won’t have a job… he has a bunch of reasons, and it’s not like they’re bad reasons.
But still, I feel like it’s still totally appropriate to ask. If he says no, that’s fine. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to ask his dad if he would like to contribute? What would you do?
As an aside (I’m just venting here), his dad is always complaining that we are having a long engagement–he wants us to get married ASAP and get started having like 12 kids (ack!). I have never said this to him, but I always think to myself, "part of the reason we’re waiting so long is because weddings are expensive and we may need all the time we can get to save up for it. Unless, of course, we had some other way to pay for it sooner…" Hint, hint.