(Closed) Asking my maids (long)

posted 6 years ago in August 2013
Post # 4
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I asked my bridal party pretty much the night I got engaged, so no worries on being too early with your 8/13 twins πŸ˜‰

First of all, how awesome that you are asking them with a package!!  I think you SHOULD include the dress info packet and a summary of events, but don’t include your expectations on what they should be paying/expenses or your bachelorette party.  You’re right, all of that is a little much right off the bat, and I think the latter two things should be done word of mouth.  At least, not in the package that you are asking them with.  I do think the dress packet is a good little preview and can get them dreaming of what to wear and deciding what they like, and a summary of events is just good because you said some of them will be out of town.

Hope that helps!

Post # 5
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Oh my goodness, @asscherlover:  You are too cute.

Asking them with a package is adorable!

But don’t stress about it. πŸ™‚ Do you not like speaking with your bridesmaids-to-be? lol You don’t have to include every single bit of information right this second. They will ask you and talk to you about it over the course of the year. They will enjoy asking you about your plans.

I mean – unless you really think some of them won’t want to do it? In that case I would call (if you can’t do it in person) and explain all the logistics and let her decide if it’s something she thinks she can commit to.

So what to include…
I think it might be fun to include the dress booklet. You should let them know the choices you’ve made already so they know which dresses to look at. If I were your BM, I think it would be fun to feel involved in something right away.

I would not like being presented with a list of expenses, even if the whole list said “zero, zero, zero.” That’s just not what I want to think about when I’m telling my friend that I’m ecstatic to be her bridesmaid. A schedule of events is nice, but don’t include the shower/party info. Let that happen organically.

The letter sounds so sweet.

I hope I’m not being too harsh or anything. I just want to help my month-twin! πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@koi424:  +1.  I agree with all of this.

And, OP, I must say you’re very organized – I’m so impressed!  They’re lucky to be asked – I want to be  your bridesmaid, lol.  You’ve made it simple and easy, it’s all perfect.  πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

When asking my BMs, I gave each of them a little gift, but no information about what being a BM will mean. This way I’m not overloading them with information or hopefully putting any pressure on them to accept…

 

Post # 9
Member
9626 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@asscherlover:   Let us know how it goes.  πŸ™‚

Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2013

If you know that the designer you picked is out their budget, why did you pick them?  

Post # 13
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I don’t think you are too early. I asked mine a week or so after we were engaged and then already went over all the little details in July so they were prepared.

 I think its super cute that you have a little gift for them but I don’t think I would include that much information. When you are asked to be in a wedding you kind of assume you will need to be there Friday and Saturday, buy the dress, shoes, get nails done, etc. If they have an issue with the potential cost, I think they would talk to you before just saying no.

Be careful with the dresses, those websites sometimes aren’t the best most trustworthy places. And they have said you should order all them together at the same place to ensure the same color. I know you want to keep costs down but you don’t want to sacrafice the quality. Check out some stores because if you order 5 or more they give you discounts and if you ordered your dress there you can save even more. I saved my girls $25 from that. Oh and just so you know, larger sizes cost more πŸ™

Post # 15
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I was lectured like crazy by the bridal store lady that I just had to order my OOT BMs dresses with her and she’d ship them to the girls or else I would face different dye lots and the world would end!!!

Like seriously. I want cornflower blue. The manufacturer makes 4 other shades of blue. As long as the “dye lot” isn’t so massivly f*ed up that they should really be selling it as one of the other shades, it’s going to be ok. It’s just a dress.

Weddings make people crazy. πŸ™‚

Oh – but if you are considering sizes – the bridal shop I ordered from said that anyone above 5’6″ needs an extra length dress which is extra money.

Post # 16
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My Bridesmaids aren’t too far, different states but close enough so I am going to have some come with me and the others give me the money. I figured its an easy thing to do just in case. It might be ridiculous but it doesn’t make it too difficult for me. I would rather know they all got them plus we save money by ordering together.

The topic ‘Asking my maids (long)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors