- 3 years ago
Ok I know this question has been asked several times however I am still in a jam about asking certain friends to be in my wedding. Here it goes…….
I have 4 friends from high school /college who I used to be very close with (until ~5 years ago). Since that time, I have grown apart from them. Not to the extent that we don’t talk but we talk once every few months about generic things
I was in 2 of 4 girls’ weddings (other 2 are not married). I can honestly say that 1 of the girls who is married… I think I hate her. Everything is about her, on every subject. I saw her recently at the park and she immediately grabbed my hand, didn’t even say congrats (it had happened 3 days prior) and COMPARED our rings in front of my FI and her husband. I don’t like to ever call her since the calls are always about her and nothing else. I called to tell her I was engaged and didn’t get there until about 30 minutes into the call. Then which she yelled at me for not starting the call that way–only I did and she interrupted me to tell me something about herself.
I have grown extremely close to one of my other friends. We’ve only been friends for 5 years (not 13 like the other 4) but she is like a sister to me. I only talk to her about once a month but when we do its like there’s been no time apart. She can tell from how I write my emails if something is wrong and I call her with every bad or happy news (I never inform the others). I called her directly after telling my sisters. We had a rough patch a year ago when it was near the end of us living together but I think it was just we had lived together too long and we needed to move out to save the friendship (2 years living togerher)
Anyways….. I’m having my sisters in my wedding and I wanted my friend who I am close with now. However my other 4 friends will most likely never talk to me again. The one friend who I really do not appreciate has been saying for years how she can’t wait for another wedding to be in (mine) and I have NEVER eluded to anyone being in my wedding. However if she is so deeply offended, she will never talk to me and when the other girls are in town (we usually go to her house) she will refuse to invite me and therefore I feel like I’ll lose some of their friendship. She had already done this with another girl who I was not close with but the other 3 girls were and once she said “I’m never talking to her”, no one else did. I never thought about it until recently. I don’t even know why she shut her out. I know that everyone says “pick who you want” but I know that this will cause a rift.
I really am considering not having my one friend in the wedding just to keep everyone calm but I really want her in my wedding. I just want to make sure the other 3 are still there. It sucks that I’m thinking this way but she’s the “leader” and unfortunately that title has never gone away.