Post # 1
Basicly me and FI are young (I’m 17 he’s 22) so most of are friends cant afford to fly over to Italy. So my in laws have very kindly offered to pay for 12 of are friends plane tickets. And everyones transport to and from the airport. Then we will be footing most of the bill for accommodation. But In laws have said they wont pay for Any familiy to fly over to the wedding, wich I understand because they are already helping out a lot with the paying for stuff. So everyone else (aunties, uncles etc) will have to pay there own tickets.
However are wedding budget is going to be realitivly small (Not fixed yet depends how much we can get together) so we were thinking of asking for a contribution of something like £75 per person an the £10 per child. Then asking parents to pay for any childrens meals (excluding any children in the wedding party). Does this sound fair? I don’t think it will be a problem for most people. But my Auntie and Uncle have 3 kids (One is in the wedding party though) so they could end up having to
ay £200+ and flights. Were some people will be paying £75 and no flights.
I just don’t know wether it will be fair or not but I can’t figure out any other way we could cover the cost at the moment.
Post # 3
No, not fair. You can’t ask anyone for any type of contribution. If they’re gonna give you money for your wedding, they’re gonna do so without you asking. Have a celebration you can afford, and if that is a big cake and lemonade for everyone, so be it.
Post # 4
Is asking people to pay common in your culture? In the US it is not so based on that I would say its a very bad idea to ask people to pay for a party you want to throw.
Post # 5
@youngbride22: I’m not sure what your culture dictates, so that’s going to be the ultimate deciding factor.
That said, I believe it would be a major faux pas to ask people to contribute to the wedding fund. Pay for what you can afford.
Post # 6
I may be interpreting your post incorrectly; however, from what you’ve written, it sounds as if you plan to charge your guests to attend your wedding so that you are able to pay for your wedding. I cannot imagine that this would be viewed favorably in any country by guests from any culture.
Post # 7
I would be very upset if someone asked me to contribute to their wedding. If I were you, I would wait until I could afford the wedding I wanted.
Post # 8
@youngbride22: What about having your ceremony closer to home to fit your budget and then having a vow renewal in Italy in few years on your anniversary when finances allow?
Post # 9
@youngbride22: From your prior post, are you actually having a legal wedding or not? It’s defintely not okay to ask for contributions for your wedding, and it’s even more not okay to ask for money for a non-legal ceremony.
Have the wedding you can afford.
Post # 10
Asking people for money to pay for your wedding is not ok in any way, shape, or form. I’m all for people doing what they want, but if you are not even getting legally married why are you having a ceremony you can’t afford in Italy? If you really want to be going through with this and don’t have enough money you should be having a ceremony you can afford closer to home.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
@youngbride22: I am in the exact same position, but for different reasons. For cultural reasons it is expected that guests contibute ~$300 to the fund, but since I’m not Japanese I will have a few guests flying in.
I have thus far been unable to convince FI that it is unfair to expect my friends and family to buy the flight tickets, hotel and the fee.
In my situation most/all of the guests flying in aren’t particularly well-off either, but in your case if they can afford it, and it’s for cultural reasons, I’d say do it.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2
@pixiecat: “Asking people for money to pay for your wedding is not ok in any way, shape, or form.”
I have to disagree. Many if not most countries in the world have the tradition of giving money, and personally I will be happy to receive money at my wedding as opposed to an unwanted ice cream maker.
Post # 13
@MrsYoshida: I’m not talking about people bringing money as a wedding gift, I’m talking about charging them an entrance fee before they even get there. If people want to give you cash as a gift fine, if a high amount is normal in your area, fine. But if you cannot afford to pay for your wedding before it happens and are telling your guests they need to contribute to the bill, that is not fine.
Post # 14
No, weddings do not have entrance fees. If I were invited, I’d decline and add you to my collection of “I can’t believe how tacky!” stories
Post # 15
@youngbride22: is it normal for guests to pay a fee in your culture? My initial reaction is that this is terrible and not acceptable but it would be helpful if you could tell us about your culture and if this is standard at all weddings.
Post # 16
@pixiecat: +1 to add to this, you should never ASK for money. Even if your culture traditionally gives cash, you never indicate a specific amount or reference the gift in any way shape of form in an invite.
OP, if you want a pretty princess day, at least wait until you can afford it on your own.
Also, btw, being together a “year +” is nothing at 17. I datedAmy college ex for three years and we would for sure be divorced now.