Asking people to pay for flights and making a contribution to wedding fund?

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
2546 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

No, not fair. You can’t ask anyone for any type of contribution. If they’re gonna give you money for your wedding, they’re gonna do so without you asking. Have a celebration you can afford, and if that is a big cake and lemonade for everyone, so be it.

Post # 4
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Is asking people to pay common in your culture? In the US it is not so based on that I would say its a very bad idea to ask people to pay for a party you want to throw.

Post # 5
Member
318 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

@youngbride22:  I’m not sure what your culture dictates, so that’s going to be the ultimate deciding factor.

That said, I believe it would be a major faux pas to ask people to contribute to the wedding fund. Pay for what you can afford.

Post # 6
Member
10986 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@youngbride22:  

I may be interpreting your post incorrectly; however, from what you’ve written, it sounds as if you plan to charge your guests to attend your wedding so that you are able to pay for your wedding. I cannot imagine that this would be viewed favorably in any country by guests from any culture.

Post # 7
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I would be very upset if someone asked me to contribute to their wedding. If I were you, I would wait until I could afford the wedding I wanted. 

Post # 8
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@youngbride22:  What about having your ceremony closer to home to fit your budget and then having a vow renewal in Italy in few years on your anniversary when finances allow?

Post # 9
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@youngbride22:  From your prior post, are you actually having a legal wedding or not? It’s defintely not okay to ask for contributions for your wedding, and it’s even more not okay to ask for money for a non-legal ceremony.

Have the wedding you can afford.

Post # 10
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Asking people for money to pay for your wedding is not ok in any way, shape, or form.  I’m all for people doing what they want, but if you are not even getting legally married why are you having a ceremony you can’t afford in Italy?  If you really want to be going through with this and don’t have enough money you should be having a ceremony you can afford closer to home.

Post # 11
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@youngbride22:  I am in the exact same position, but for different reasons. For cultural reasons it is expected that guests contibute ~$300 to the fund, but since I’m not Japanese I will have a few guests flying in.

I have thus far been unable to convince FI that it is unfair to expect my friends and family to buy the flight tickets, hotel and the fee.

In my situation most/all of the guests flying in aren’t particularly well-off either, but in your case if they can afford it, and it’s for cultural reasons, I’d say do it.

Post # 12
Member
1899 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - TTC #2

@pixiecat:  “Asking people for money to pay for your wedding is not ok in any way, shape, or form.”

I have to disagree. Many if not most countries in the world have the tradition of giving money, and personally I will be happy to receive money at my wedding as opposed to an unwanted ice cream maker.

Post # 13
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsYoshida:  I’m not talking about people bringing money as a wedding gift, I’m talking about charging them an entrance fee before they even get there.  If people want to give you cash as a gift fine, if a high amount is normal in your area, fine.  But if you cannot afford to pay for your wedding before it happens and are telling your guests they need to contribute to the bill, that is not fine.

Post # 14
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

No, weddings do not have entrance fees. If I were invited, I’d decline and add you to my collection of “I can’t believe how tacky!” stories

 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1793 posts
Buzzing bee

@youngbride22:  is it normal for guests to pay a fee in  your culture?  My initial reaction is that this is terrible and not acceptable but it would be helpful if you could tell us about your culture and if this is standard at all weddings.

Post # 16
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@pixiecat:  +1 to add to this, you should never ASK for money. Even if your culture traditionally gives cash, you never indicate a specific amount or reference the gift in any way shape of form in an invite.

OP, if you want a pretty princess day, at least wait until you can afford it on your own.

Also, btw, being together a “year +” is nothing at 17. I datedAmy college ex for three years and we would for sure be divorced now. 

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