Post # 1
I have a small wedding party, 3 on each side. FI has 3 sisters whom I wasn’t able to ask to be in the wedding, but I’m feeling guilty about it. I think they are fine with it since one of them is also getting married and they would all have to get a dress, etc. But I want to involve them in other ways. I want to ask 2 of them to do a reading and one to be a greeter and I’m also getting them corsages.
The thing is…are they going to say no? FI thinks they hate having to get up in front of a lot of people, so I’m not sure if I should even ask them?
Post # 3
I would think it’s an honor, but I don’t mind being in front of people. I’m sure it’s different for different people.
Post # 4
@loveknows: Well, based on my experience, if he thinks they’ll be uncomfortable, they’ll probably say no. We had about 4 people say no to doing readings before we finally had enough people agree to do them (and one of the one’s agreed was basically an “If there’s no one else..”). But I would say ask them anyway and see what they say. But I would also let them know it’s ok to say no if they’re not comfortable with it and that they don’t have to feel bad about it.
Post # 5
I personally am very opposed to any B list jobs. Everyone knows they are B list jobs, and it always makes me uncomfortable to see people performing them. I would never agree to do a job, because someone felt obligated to give me some kind of ‘honour’.
If you want to honour them (which I think is sweet) give them a special shout out in the speeches, or give them a corsage, a spot in the progam. Those are nice ways to recognize people.
I don’t think burdening them with work is all that special.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t think of it as a burden, I would be really honored! Then again, I’m a communication major and I’m pretty much going to do public speaking for a living someday, so I probably don’t fit the norm.
I don’t ever feel uncomfortable watching people do “B list jobs,” as a PP said. Maybe because I don’t think of them as B-list jobs, but as a different way to get people involved in your wedding.
Post # 7
I think its a hassle if they person doesn’t like speaking/reading in front of others. I’m shy and would fret about it all day until it was over.
…BUT I think it would be a big honour for someone who would be comfortable reading. Think of who is close to you that you’ve seen volunteer to read in other situations. They’ll probably be thrilled. If the girls don’t seem to like reading, they may be nervous.
Post # 8
I would find it to be a hassle, because I’m not big on public speaking.
Post # 9
I was asked to be a reader for a couple who I introduced. They were having 2 on each side/only siblings. I was honored they wanted me to be a part of their big day. I absolutely LOATHE public speaking, I’m good meeting new people, and I’m outgoing… but all those people staring at me …. not a big fan. I was more nervous at the rehersal then the actual wedding. I would never think it was a hassel.
My brother asked my niece, 13 at the time, to be a reader in his wedding. She did a great job, they gave her what she was supposed to read about a month out and she had it down by the time the wedding rolled around.
You should ask them, but make sure you express to them WHY you want them to read, you want them to be a part of the day, but if they are uncomfortable they should feel free to decline. No pressure and you come off looking great.
Post # 10
I don’t think it is a burden at all… nor do I think it is “B List.” There are many reasons why people are not ‘chosen’ to be bridesmaids… but a reading is very important and makes the wedding seem very communal, meaning more people from your community participating. Maybe I am just a big ‘reader’ proponent, but I love the idea of reading at weddings.
I read at a friend’s wedding and we are having readers at our wedding… now to get back to the original post:
She might say no if she really doesn’t like public speaking. That is ok. She was included in a very important aspect of the wedding.
Post # 11
I am really shocked to see that people think that being a ceremony reader is a B-List job! Many ceremonies generally have readings…someone has to do them! I think it would be an honor however I personally would stress about it because I’m shy. I would ask the girls in a no-pressure situation and make sure they know that it is NOT an obligation to say yes, but that if they were comfortable with it you would love to include them in your ceremony in that way.
Post # 12
I wouldn’t want to DO anything at my brother’s wedding. I’d much rather just GO to his wedding.
Post # 13
I would think it’d be an honor; not a “B-List” task. Since they sound shy, I’d be sure to be clear they can say no if they aren’t comfortable and honor them with corsages whether or not they decide to read/greet.