Asking too much of bridesmaids?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

@WaitingDogMama:  So you are only asking them to buy a dress? $178 is a little expensive so I hope they love the dress! Do they have to travel to the wedding?

I am asking my maids to:

Travel 10+ hour drive, 4 hour flight, the other is local

Stay two nights in the hotel $170/night

Come to the bachelorette party (they don’t have to pay for drinks)

Come to the rehersal and welcome picnic the day before the wedding

Buy any dress they like in the fabric and color I choose $80-130

Wear any pair of beige flats

Get their hair done for free

Do their own make-up


Post # 4
12 posts
  • Wedding: August 2014

@WaitingDogMama:  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all!!! I’m asking a lot more from mine and they make a lot less than yours..

Post # 5
7013 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@WaitingDogMama:  Are there significant travel expenses (or any other sort of expenses) for the bachelorette party? That’s the only possible “money pit” I can see. $178 for the dress is reasonable.

Post # 6
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@WaitingDogMama:  I don’t think what you are asking is unreasonable, but I wouldn’t assume that anyone is in ‘good shape’ financially, with the amount of student debt, etc. that people can rack up these days. Maybe they are saving to buy a house, paying off student debt, etc. 

Post # 8
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

@WaitingDogMama:  Keep in mind that a dress that costs $178, is really going to cost a little under $300 in the end, after alterations. However no, I don’t think that is really asking too much. However, maybe speak to each of them individually and ask if a dress at that price is in their price range.


Post # 10
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@WaitingDogMama:  I don’t think you’re asking too much but you HAVE to stop considering their finances as an excuse to justify costs.  It is NONE of your business.  There is a difference between having the money and chosing to spend it.  

Post # 11
7884 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

@WaitingDogMama:  Under 200 is reasonable for the dress especially if there arent any other costs and no travel! Nice youre paying for Bachy party hotel too.


I say: beyond reasonable.

Post # 12
6446 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t think what you’re asking for is unreasonable at all. I would be thrilled to only spend $178 🙂 However, I don’t think you should judge how much money someone has to throw around. Just because they make a lot doesn’t mean they have a lot to spend.

Post # 13
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

$178 for the whole series of obligational wedding costs sounds fine to me!

Post # 15
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think that’s reasonable.  I bought my bridesmaids’ dresses for them, but I was recently in a wedding and all told, I spent about $1500.  It is what it is.

Post # 16
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I have to echo PPs. I don’t think that what you’ve listed is unreasonable. However, what is going on for the shower or the other bachelorette festivities? Because if they’re picking up the tab for that, it can add up very quickly, especially after gifts, etc.

But you can’t assume someone has a lot of money because they make a lot of money. If I told you my income, you might be like “Holy crap, that’s a lot. You could totally do more.” But the reality is that money is really tight in our house right now. We’re starting a business so income is a bit erratic, we have to buy our own healthcare, and we’re saving for a baby. Oh, and we pay an amazing amount of student loans every month. If we didn’t have those, we WOULD feel rich. 

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