Post # 1
So he said he’d be proposing before the end of the summer, so I was surprised when he invited me to go ring shopping a couple of days ago. With summer coming nearly to an end, I would have thought he would’ve had it bought or at least picked out already. This didn’t bother me, though, as it was my first (and he let me know, last) ring shopping trip. I have to admit, I was super excited for him to get my ring size and input on the ones I liked. It made the whole idea of him proposing REAL. Mind you, he’s been dropping hints for months about looking at 1 carat diamonds, flawless in clarity and color (expensive but he can afford it) and how much he’s learned about the c’s of diamond shopping. However, actually seeing one on my finger for the first time, it was a dream come true. I imagined the 1 carat shiny that he had been talking about. Until…
I found a setting I liked. The woman at the counter mentioned it would fit up to a 1.25 (or so) carat, but that the recommended setting and the CZ on that sample ring was a .75 carat. So what does he say?I guess he didn’t hear the first thing she said because He tells her he thinks its great I’ve picked out one cheaper than the ones he’s been looking at. I didn’t pick it out! I picked out the setting. I immediately get sad, as the ring I had envisioned shrinks in my fantasy. So he goes and picks out the best loose diamond in their case close to that size. It’s .7 carats. He knows how important the shiny factor is to me, which is why I want round. This one is between very good and good in clarity (not like the ideals he had been shopping for). The color was I (not like the Ds he had been looking at).
Now, I know he’s the one footing the bill for this ring. I know its a gift from his heart and that I shouldn’t complain. But…
I guess what bothers me is that, if had he been talking about a half or 3/4 carat from the beginning, I KNOW there would have been no problem. Problem is, he talked up what he WAS going to get me. I built it up in my mind imagining what it would be like. So when this other diamond became REAL, I guess it didn’t live up to what I had built up in my head based on the info he was giving me. Am I just being a brat and need to get over this? I’ve already come to terms that a ring I don’t like is better that nothing at all. Afterall, a marriage is not about the ring.
Or was I right to be upset?
Post # 3
So, because it is a tad smaller (.7) instead of a (1) you will not like it? Or is it the quality you won’t be happy with?
Post # 4
@chittychittybanebane: I wouldn’t be happy with both the size and the quality.
Post # 5
@jadehoney: Ok, thanks for clearing it up. Well- if it is something you will have a hard time getting over, tell him that maybe you can look somewhere else with better quality diamonds… if he wants you to have it forever & you really can’t get over it, better discuss it sooner than later. Good Luck!
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2011 - Crestmore Manor
While I can see how it would be a bit dissapointing to be told all about one particular ring for a while only to find you would be receiving something different, I don’t think this should rain on the whole ring parade. Don’t stop being excited because the diamond is smaller, a ring still means your man wants to spend the rest of his life with you. That’s exciting! I’m very sorry the ring doesn’t seem to be shaping up to what you dreamed about, but afterall you did make the excellent point, “a marriage is not about the ring.”
Post # 8
I don’t know how much he had saved or how much he was prepaired, but maybe he didn’t really realize how much what you wanted was going to cost and was happy you picked something he felt comfortable with, or maybe he just doesn’t see the difference and assumes you don’t either
It sounds like he’s not meaning to hurt your feelings. Take a few days, don’t think about/look at rings and the next time you see it, see if it makes your heat melt. When you’re emotional, sometimes its best to take a few days just to settle.
Post # 9
Did he already pay for it? Just say you think you want the one carat
Post # 10
Just cause you aren’t getting exactly what you had envisioned…it’s more about the meaning behind the ring and not how much he spent or how big of a diamond it is. You could always look into an upgrade for an anniversay down the road. My Fiance proposed with a ring that he could afford with the promise that we would upgrade the centre diamond one day. Maybe he wants to spend the money on something else for you. Mine is 0.5 carat, near colourless, ideal cut with 2 small inclusions that aren’t visible to the naked eye and it’s still really sparkly.
Post # 11
sounds to me like he just wasn’t paying much attention (as usually happens with a lot of guys!), so just clarify with him that you really like the setting, but think it would look even more amazing if it had the 1 carat in it. like you said, he can afford it, it’s what you had in mind, you shouldn’t have to settle girlfriend, speak now or you’ll end up with something you don’t want! just say, he won’t mind, and then when you show it off to your friends he’ll love it 🙂
Post # 12
If you really want a larger center stone, how about you look somewhere like BlueNile for a loose stone and get the setting that you want? Would that save you any money? Since he is asking for you input, I would speak up about your expectations and what you had in mind. This way you don’t resent not saying something when you had the chance. However, like you said, it isn’t about the ring, it is about the marriage. I don’t think you should place too much importance on the ring, but you shouldn’t be stuck wearing something you don’t like when you could get a center stone that is slightly larger and be happy, maybe a .9 center stone or something in the middle of .7-1.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
If a .70 ct size is really well cut and is mostly colourless, it can very well look like a carat. All of us women have our ring fantasies, and really, we can’t deny it. We’ve all–at some point or another– drooled over some ridiculously expensive bauble. I thought my e-ring would be some art-carved antique diamond masterpiece. Instead, we picked out a gorgeous, glowing .20 ct diamond solitaire. It’s the last thing I thought I would have liked, but I love it so much for its simplicity and for what it represents. It’s sitting in its box and I cannot wait to be able to wear it everyday. Plus, we’ll have money for vacations. If you guys get a slightly smaller ring, you’ll have more left over for the wedding and all the fun stuff!
Post # 14
When you get to pick your ring I think there ends up always being a bit of regret or change of mind. To me its like picking a dress, you think you have the one, then you see another one and think DANG I wish I chose that, and actually get a second or thrid dress. ( I have 4 haha)
A little weird if he takes you shopping and doesn’t pay attention…. why bring you? Maybe there is more going on than what meets the eye!
Post # 15
I dont understand.. if he could save so much money going from a 1ct to a .7 (and the difference IS huge), why did he not at least keep the quality stone he was originally going for? Were you there when you picked it out? Did you say anything to him when he was picking? Had you guys talked about what you really wanted in a stone before? But in all honesty, I dont think you’ll be able to tell the difference between and ideal and very good cut, or a I color ring as long as you dont put it next to a D.
Post # 16
@pinkshoes: I’m with you on this one. It seems reasonable to compromise in one area, but don’t talk up a big, perfect stone if it’s going to be a more modest one in every way.