Post # 1
I am going to make a very long story short… I was physically assaulted by my MoH/best friend ( i am to be married in July) at a work function recently. I was completely sober, she was completely drunk, and she attacked me b/c I called her husband to come pick her up b/c i didnt want her getting into an accident and killing herself, or someone else.
She’s NEVER gotten physical with me (or anyone else that I know of) but has had quite frequent and crazy outburts while drinking. She has a serious issue, needless to say.
With that said, I have decided to eliminate her from my life and the wedding. Now here is where the problem lies… Do I “promote” another bridesmaid as the MoH, or, can I get away with not having one? I have a Man of Honor, whom I asked to step up and do all of the duties (before it was him AND the MoH coordinating, but mostly the MoH) but he is unsure if he could take on all of that responsibility, since before, he would have been sharing it all… He doesnt want to let me down, or himself down, by not doing the best possible job (and honestly, I appreciate it). At this point, I kind of don’t want a MoH at all and hope that all the girls can work together (now, there are 5 girls, and one guy).
What are your opinions? I am so bummed by all of this 🙁
Post # 3
Wow well I’m glad you stopped her… you probably saved a life or a few that night! And you don’t have to promote anyone… but you can. It’s all really up to you 🙂
That’s the best part… it’s your day. I’m sorry this happened.
Post # 4
First of all, I’m so sorry you had to go through this. I hope she gets the help she needs.
Second, I would not “promote” anyone- it says “You weren’t good enough to be picked first” and it may make him/her feel like a second string player.
Finally, what kind of “duties” does your bridal party have that the Man of Honor can’t fulfill them? Remember these are the people you want to have stand with you on your big day, not free labor.
Good luck, I hope everything works out 🙂
Post # 5
Oh my gosh! How crazy, scary, and sad. I’m sorry you’ve experienced this with your best friend. I don’t blame you for the way you’re feeling.
Your bridesmaids can still help with the responsibilities even if they aren’t technically “promoted.” I’m sure they’re happy to help.
Post # 6
Sorry to hear about your maid of dis-honor! 🙁 If there is a Bridesmaid or Best Man who you are close enough to at this point and you feel would gladly take on the extra responsibility, I would promote her. Otherwise, I would at least have a talk with the remaining BM’s and explain what happened and that you’re hoping they can all provide a little extra support during your last couple of months. I’d be somewhat vague about what you mean exactly, like don’t dole out tasks or anything, but let them know that you’re stressed about what happened and hoping they can still pull together whatever they had been planning previously.
Post # 7
Wow that is crazy! Youre a good person for stopping her though.
I would see if you can talk to the rest of your bms and see if they would be ok with providing a bit more help with the things that need to be done.
Post # 8
This is nuts! First, you are an amazing friend for trying to call her husband. She may have not hurt anyone – or she could have seriously hurt herself and/or others. She may have gotten a DUI and she probably would have regretted driving then. Do you think she’ll regret her behavior at any point and want to talk to you? Would you talk to her?
Second, I’m sorry that this happened to you. No one deserves to be treated that way, no matter what – especially when you are trying to keep her safe.
Now, you don’t need a Maid/Matron of Honor. If you want to promote someone, I say go for it, otherwise it’s not a huge deal.