Post # 1
I am recently engaged and have gotten myself into a predicament. I have a group of very close friends and while i was telling one of them about my recent engagement she said ” I hope my dress is beautiful because I want to be a pretty bridemaid” and went on and on about it. I just smiled and nodded because I was so shocked. Now she has told everyone in our social group how she is one of my bridesmaids but I have 3 VERY close friends from my childhood that i want in the party and my Fiance has 3 groomsmen. I dont want her in my party how do I let her know kindly? I know i should have said something right away but i was really taken off guard. I dont want to loose her as a friend but there is no way she can be in the party
Post # 3
@Mersadies: tell her you do not want to hurt her feelings but you are settled on other people as BMs. that there is equal number of GM and BMs and you talked with that with FI.
Post # 4
@Mersadies: Find a private time with her and just tell her.
” I need to tell you that I won’t be asking you to be a bridesmaid. I should have spoken up when you first mentioned it, but I didn’t want to embarass you in public. We are both having small wedding parties and I have chosen 3 girlfriends I have had since childhood. I am happy to tell people that I have scaled down the size of the wedding party if that will help you save face. I know you will understand that it’s just not possible to have everyone I would like to stand up with me.”
Post # 5
@Mersadies: I know the feeling well. When SO and I got engaged we had picked out 4 BM and 4 GM. SO’s friend sent a text saying “congrats on the engagement, I better be standing up there with you, when I get married you will be up there standing beside me, we are best mates blah blah blah” I was shocked that someone would have the nerve to flat out invite themself to be part of the bridal party. SO felt terrible and said is there any way we can include him and you add a bridesmaid? I said fine so now we have 5 of each, not ideal but it saved the whole having to disappoint a good friend.
I wish I had some advice to give you but as a pp said, just try and let her down gently and tell her that you are only using your very close childhood friends. Good luck, I hope it all goes well.