Post # 1
FI and I have made the decision to not invite kids to our wedding due to budget and space issues. We havnt sent out our invites yet(it’s been a crazy month, we had a baby girl 3 weeks ago). However this morning I logged on to Facebook to see a status from his aunt about how she had gotten permission from her ex to bring her kids (8 and 10) to the wedding. I feel super awkward telling her they arent invited. She would be travelling from the otherside of Canada, I haveto problem with her bringing the kids and I’d help her find a babysitter but they arent invited. What should I say, or should I just say nothing and hope she figures it out when I send the invites?
Post # 3
I think, especially since she’s travelling a good distance, you need to be honest with her. Esp. if other guests make arrangements for their kids so they can attend the wedding, it may bother them to come and see someone else with their kids.
I would just say that you have a lot of family and friends with kids and in order to cut the guest list down, you both decided to make your wedding and reception adults only. Be honest and just leave it at that.
Post # 4
You have to be honest. People won’t just assume. Say you would love to have kids there, but that space and budget does not allow it (so sorry). That’s a reasonable excuse. You’d have to be a bit mean not to accept that.
Post # 5
Some people will assume kids are invited. You have to let her know. It’s your wedding, your rules. She can’t be upset.
Post # 6
Agree with previous posts, you’ll have to tell her. Especially since she seems to have to deal with custody issues, then it’s even more important to set things straight from the beginning.
I would just call her, or send her an email, and say “Hi, I saw your post on FB – and while I would love to meet the kids, I just have to let you know that they won’t be able to attend the wedding itself”. It might be a little awkward, but rather clear the air now then later!
Post # 7
You need to be honest and up-front.
We are having a strict no-children policy, and have been open with guests about this from day one, as we don’t want people to assume their children are invited, only to find they aren’t. She’s travelling a long way so I think you need to tell her asap. Simply call her and say you saw her facebook status, and that you thought you’d better call and let her know that it’s an adult only wedding, just incase she didn’t know, that you hope she understands, and that you will help her find a babysitter, yada yada yada.
Post # 8
I talked to her and its all good.Thanks.
Post # 9
@Mrscdnnavywife: Since she brought it up, I’d let her know ASAP that it’s an adult only affair.
though are you not having your child there at all either?
Post # 10
Yeah, I don’t think I’ve ever taken offense to an invitation that says something along the lines of 18+ only please
Post # 11
@W292737: We were going to just have “babies in arms” since i have a neice and nephew who are babies, we ended up deciding that since his guest list is so much smaller than mine, we will invite them. Hopefully people dont care too much.
Post # 12
@Mrscdnnavywife: I’m glad it worked out 🙂