Post # 1
I’m just curious how different people’s gifts are for weddings’ of people they are very close to compared to people they are less close to.
To clarify, assume:
- Its not a destination wedding
- You are not *in* the wedding. So you don’t have to budget for a bridesmaid dress ect.
- You aren’t paying for the wedding
- A “Close Relative” is your sibling, parent, child ect.
- A “Distant Relative” is your cousin, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, step aunt once removed ect.
- A “Close Friend” is a member of your closest circle of friends
- A “Distant Friend” is a your husband’s coworker, your college roommate you haven’t spoken to in ten years, that person you had to look up on facebook to remember who they are (and yes you’re still going to the wedding even though you barely know them)
- You did not just win the lotto
- You have to give cash (not because they didn’t register, but because thats what you want to give)
Post # 3
Wow so far people would give more to their close friends than their close relatives. Definately not what I was expecting.
Post # 4
My answers are based on both my FI and I attending the wedding.
Close Relative – well the only close relative I have is my sister (my only two cousins live in Germany and have my whole life so we aren’t really close) so probably around $500.
Distant Relative – I don’t really like many of my “distant” relatives so I would probably give 150.
Close Friend – Probably 250 – 300. Gonna cross that bridge this summer when 4 of my closest friends get married (eeks!)
Distant Friend – Probably 100-150.
Post # 5
We don’t have much disposable income, so unfortunately we can’t be as generous as we would like to be. Although I’d say we definitely give within the average for our family/friends. Usually we gift between $75-$100 regardless of the closeness of the relationship. For our own wedding, the vast majority of the gifts were around the $50 mark, but we also had a few very very very generous friends and family who gave much more.
Post # 6
Honestly for me I think I would give a close family member less (100-150) than a good friend. In my circle of friends we are all recent grads, and therefore have pretty much zero extra money, where as my family is all older and more established. My two sisters are 18 so they have a few years to wed, but once they do I also will do about $500. FI’s brother, who we are close to, is getting married (to a woman I hate) and we are refusing to give them money because they are asking for it and would honestly just judge the amount and not be at all grateful. Instead we are giving them an experience like tickets to a sporting event that is according to her words “too rich for her blood” because we think they should be able to do something nice at least once in their life.
I really think it depends on the dynamic of the family or friend relationship, and where you are financially
Post # 7
Would the gift amount be for just me, or me and my SO together?
Post # 8
A “Close Relative” is your sibling, parent, child ect.
if its my nephews (i have 5 of them) its $2K (which we have done for 2 of them so far).
if its my niece starting at $10K but the longer she is single the more becasue i have a bank account for her.
our siblings/parents are already married/no divorces in our families
A “Distant Relative” is your cousin….
A “Close Friend” is a member of your closest circle of friends
$200 to $500
A “Distant Friend”
Post # 8
I try to cover my plate whenever possible but it really depends on what I can afford. Average would be…
- Close relative (sibling) – $250-$300
- Close relative (child) – Much more than $500
- Close relative (parent) – I guess $250-$300 but I think it would be weird to gift my parent with cash.
- Distant relative – $150-$200
- Close friend – $150-$200
- Distant friend- $100
*this is assuming DH and I are both attending.
Post # 9
Same for everyone – ~$100. That’s what we can afford right now!
Post # 10
I wish you all had been invited to my wedding!!! Kidding!!! Kinda… you’re all very very generous. 🙂
Post # 11
We usually give ~$120-150 to friends and distant relatives. We gave $1000 to my sister in law when she got married.
Post # 12
@Ms. Blue: I didn’t really think about it. It seems like most people are responding as a couple.
@MissDW: I kind of expect (and I write this not to say I am owed them, but based on what I suspect I will receive, I will of course be happy with whatever they determine to be appropriate) my siblings will not give me anything. My little sister will be 15 when I get married, and my little brother will be 20 (in college). My older brother might give me a pretty decent cash gift, but we don’t know if he will attend (hes in the army, we don’t know where he will be stationed, and I really wouldn’t want him to take the time to write me a check if he is off fighting a war). The friends I’m inviting however, are my really really really close friends. I suspect most will have “real” jobs by the wedding (a little over a year after we graduate college) so I think they will be in a better position to give a larger gift. I’m pretty sure FI’s friends will give more than mine, because they are a more expensive circle.
I suspect by the time my friends (most of which have not really started dating) and siblings get married FI and I will be much more financially stable than we are now (were students). Unless my older brother gets married before me. Hes been with the same girl for a couple years so it could happen. We would give him as much as we could if he gets married soon. Eventually FI and I will probably determine standard rates for relatives and friends.
Post # 12
I would like to have a vow renewal- and all you generous bees are invited for sure 😉
Close relative- Ie sibling etc- $200 or so, anyone else about $100. Makes us seem stingy, but in Australia that seems about average.
Post # 13
We’re both still relatively young and I’m finishing up school right now, but I’ve found the bee to be, on the whole, either 1- more generous than my particular family, or 2- more generous than my area in general.
Not sure if it’s a small/rural midwest thing, but Mr.ND and I were blown away by the $100 check we received from someone. People our age generally gift about $30-$50, and older, more established couples/families generally gift around $50-100. I would gift more to a close friend/relative than to ‘that guy you used to know from that summer softball league you were in,’ but all within the $30-$75 range for now.
Post # 14
I would give at least $100 to at most $150, same for everyone.