Post # 1
I’m Chinese raised with the Chinese traditions. I’m going to have door games and the tea ceremony, along with a walk down the aisle ceremony. The one thing I am at a loss about is the banquet. I don’t really want a banquet because I don’t know many of my relatives and my fiance is white, so he would prefer to NOT have the Chinese banquet, opting for an informal BBQ instead. I know my parents would like one and my side of the family is expecting one. Is it weird to have a small dinner for just my side of the family to go along with tradition?
Post # 3
Is there any way of combining the two? Have a buffet that both serves Chinese and BBQ?
I love me some chinese buffet though….
Post # 4
I’m chinese as well. We didn’t do a traditional banquet. But it is very common amongst our family and friends to have a traditional western wedding and then also a giant traditional chinese banquet later on or back in China/Taiwan for the family and friends that weren’t able to travel for the western wedding. Or even still locally, but just with the giant guest list and traditions.
Post # 5
whether the Chinese banquet is necessary depends on your family. (just like any other tradition I guess). If your family is insistent on it you can have it for just your side of the family later on. It does not have to be the day of your ceremony.
E.g. you can just have your ceremony and informal BBQ and have your formal chinese banquet another day not inviting your grooms side but just your brides side. It would be nice if at least your FI’s parents showed up.
Post # 6
I think it’s about what you two wants. Since you’re already doing all the traditional chinese rituals in the morning, maybe its okay to just have an informal bbq. Its something to be discussed with your side of the family to make sure they are comfortable with the idea and meet halfway somehow. If they really must have a banquet then like HollyCJ said, and make sure his parents shows up to..it’ll just be a little weird if they didnt.
Post # 7
My mom is hosting a small chinese dinner and we’re going to be hosting the American dinner. So yeah, you can have 2!
Post # 8
I think it’s fine to have two. Most Chinese American couples I know have two. The more western one for their friends and close family and then a smaller one for the Chinese extended family and friends. It’ll be easier to do because you just need a restaurant and they usually allow you to bring your own alcohol. You can go easy on decorations since it’s all about the food for them (which is why you’re considering having a second reception).
Post # 9
I think it’s fine to have 2 as well. We’re having 2 complete weddings (one Cambodian, one Catholic/American) and I think it works for everyone. I know a lot of people who do the American ceremony with a reception and then hosts a Chinese banquet another day. From what I’ve been told, the Chinese banquet almost pays for itself so I don’t really see the harm in having the 2 receptions. Best of luck!
Post # 10
I’m with the folks that said have two receptions. Because of budget reasons, I could only do one or the other, and I let my mom pressure me into having a Chinese banquest… totally regret it.
Post # 11
I think it depends. Both Darling Husband and I come from different cultures with vastly different traditions and customs. Initially, both families wanted to do their own style of weddings. However, in the end, we didn’t really invite many people from either cultures/families and we were able to do the more modern/Western wedding we wanted since the majority of our guests were more “like us”. If your parents/family won’t be hurt or offended, I would say you can skip the banquet. However, if this is a huge deal and they will bring it up 1000000 times, then I would just do a small banquet for all the Chinese folks. It’s okay if you don’t really know them, as I’m pretty sure the B+G don’t know the majority of guests at Chinese banquets. It’s really more for the parents/grandparents to show off the happy couple.
FWIW, people we know that did host a traditional Chinese banquet actually “made money” from their banquet, meaning the cash they received was more than what they spent for the banquet. I’m not saying you are gift-grabby or anything, but I thought I would throw it out there as a “benefit”.
Post # 12
I thought about doing two weddings too..one western style and one Chinese banquet but in the end…the idea of planning two events seemed too stressful to me. So we are going to have the Chinese tea eremony in the afternoon, the western ceremony in the evening and Chinese banquet but at a hotel for dinner.