(Closed) At a stand still…

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Is there a specific reason you are TTC before you get married? I only ask because it seems like a LOT to take on in a relatively short amount of time, and it seems like that would add more uncertainty as far as when this wedding will actually happen.

What is your FI’s reason for not pushing the date up?

Post # 4
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I was going to ask the same thing.

Post # 5
Member
408 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m wondering why your FI doesn’t want to get married yet, but you’re TTC?

Seems like a baby might push plans back even more with all the added stress and responsibility of being a parent.  Especially with a DW.  But maybe that’s just me.

ETA: Ok, I guess it’s not just me!

Post # 6
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

Please reconsider your plans for TTC until after your married. (if your deadset on a wedding). Some people don’t ever want to get married, and that is great for them, however if you desire to be married then I think it would be best to wait for the baby plans after the wedding.

Post # 9
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@PennyLainne: That doesn’t make any sense as far as being unwilling to move the date up though. I don’t know your situation, so don’t take offense, I just think that if you both want to get married and have kids, why can’t he compromise and push the date up to make room for even a small wedding? All a pregnancy is going to do is push it back even further, or who knows, maybe not even happen at all. Seems like that is going to only add to the standstill frustration and do nothing to relieve it.

In my experience either the marriage is important or it isn’t, it’s not really a “take it or leave it” kind of thing, regardless of whether or not there was divorce in the family… You can still wear a nice dress to the courthouse as well.

Sorry, again I don’t know you, it just seems like you two are making this a lot harder than it needs to be.

Post # 10
Hostess
16217 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Can I ask why you can’t book anything? I know it’s easy to get restless when you want to plan but can’t.

Post # 11
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

@KatyElle: This

@PennyLainne: Please don’t feel ganged up on. I just agree that either the wedding needs to happen or a decision needs to be made to not have a wedding at all. If you have the desire to get married, then it would simplify things much more to do it now. Let’s face it, getting married is the easiest of the two things-and the fastest. Just think, you could get your marriage license, and depending on your state, you could be married in a few days. Then you can get to TTC and not worry about anything. Sorry, just trying to show you a different perspective. I think you both will be happier for it.

Post # 12
Member
3574 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You seem really hung up on “the dress.”  I think you should really look at your priorities and figure out what you want.  I know you may really want a baby, but think about whether this is the best time for you to give unconditionally to a baby.  It might be nice to be married awhile first and save up money.

Post # 15
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@PennyLainne: Yeah, you definitely can’t have it both ways. I would probably do a nice courthouse wedding and wait until after the baby to have a vow renewal and reception for friends and family. That would take the pressure off the whole TTC while trying to plan a wedding that just can’t happen the way either of you want it to. And it will give you something to look forward to so you can have your nice dress moment.

Your fiance does realize that marriage involves compromise… right?

The topic ‘At a stand still…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors