Post # 1
We have been thinking of going to the court house or eloping. However I would like to have some sort of reception/get together for my family and friends. I was thinking of having a brunch buffet but I’m not sure what else we would do. We don’t want people to think we are in it for the present because we aren’t. Should there be dancing, do we still cut the cake, any ideas? I would feel weird serving brunch and that is it, doesnt seem worth some of the guest drive.
Post # 2
We plan on eloping and then having a “reception” when we get home. We are going to have a ceremony in Bora Bora and have a videographer. At our reception I want to show the video, because our family still wants to feel included in the ceremony and then be introduced just like a normal reception and have our first dance. It will still be pretty simple, but I still want to do more than just eat lol
Post # 3
We did this–a teeny wedding with just immediate family and then we had a separate reception later.
My suggestion is that you are first and foremost upfront with your friends and family that they are NOT being invited to a wedding. They are being invited to a celebration for your marriage. Make sure that is clear on the invitation and don’t call it a “wedding” when talking to people. We used an invite that said “So and so and so and so were married on XX date. Please join us in celebrating at brunch, blah blah blah…”
I would think of your party as something like an anniversary party–ie, people are there to celebrate you as a couple. You can pretty much do whatever you want in terms of brunch or dinner or whatnot, and you can add a few ceremonial touches if you so desire, like cutting a cake, having a couple toasts, taking a “first dance” spin with your honey.
I wouldn’t worry about whether or not brunch is important enough for your guests. You’re hosting a party; it’s up to them to figure out whether or not they want to attend. That is, by the way, one major reason why you need to be honest about the type of event that you are having because some people will travel for a wedding…but not for a casual party and you don’t want to make people feel “duped” into coming, if you know what I mean.
On the gifts, I think it’s okay to register (some people, specifically the younger crowd, seem to be offended if there is NO registry because they don’t want to do the legwork), but I would be subtle about how you let people know about the registry. Basically, you don’t want a situation in which you or your FI are advertising the registry. So do not mention anything about gifts in your invitation–don’t list the registries but also don’t write something that says “no gifts, please.” The safest thing is to tell your immediate family where you are registered, as well as perhaps your best friend, and allow them to inform others IF people ask. And just be aware (which it appears you are) that you may not receive a gift from everyone.
It’s a great thing, though, and our post-wedding party was super fun. We wouldn’t have had it any other way!