At what point do you drop your bridesmaids??

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3828 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just go ahead and order the ones you have and tell them they have to order theirs seperate and they wont get the 15% off.  

But this is why i let my girls pick their dresses. Your wedding is awhile away if i were your bridemaid i woudln’t want to be nagged already. 

Post # 5
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Barbiestylez:  I don’t see many options in your case. You want them to order the dresses. They aren’t. I know you want them to get a discounted rate, but why do they deserve a discounted rate if they aren’t holding their half of the bargain by getting you their measurements. I say order for the girls you have. The other two can order theirs when they can and have to pay full price. If they don’t order it by March or whatever date, or if the dress goes out of stock, then they have to drop.

By the way, I know you don’t want to be a stressed out last minute bride, but that is why the responsibility should be on your BMs, and if they aren’t responsible enough they have a drop out date. I believe they have more than enough time to get these dresses. Yes, dresses from China take a while, but not 8 months. Levae it with your BMs. If you have to hand hold for the next 8 months, you need to start picking your battles.

Post # 6
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Seattle, WA

So rude/annoying of your friends!!  I don’t understand what their problem is!  I would be so irritated.  I would probably text both girls one last time, saying if you don’t have the measurements by a certain date (tomorrow, Friday, etc), they won’t be able to order their dresses, aka, won’t be able to be in the wedding.  Also, shouldn’t they be able to take the measurements themselves without someone helping them?  It takes like 5 min, seriously.  Even with a virus!!!

 

Post # 9
Member
2565 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

For the friend that lives in Vegas, mail her a measuring tape and then call/Skype her the day it arrives to walk her through taking the measurements.  Does the other bridesmaid who hasn’t done it live near you?  If yes take her out for a coffee or something and bring a measuring tape with you, if no do same thing as Vegas bridesmaid.  If that fails, stop mentioning it for a while, they have missed out on the discount but there is still plenty of time to order the dress at full price.

There is still a lot of time to get the dresses, and it was very nice of you to try and get them a discount.  Even if they order the dresses later, as long as they have them by April that is fine, so even with the February month off no need to rush just yet.  With so much time before the wedding, I think it would be premature to drop them now.  It’s their own fault they missed out on the discount, but they can still get their act together to order the dress and have it in time for the wedding.

I think the only time you should drop them is if they still don’t order the dress to have it in time for the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Barbiestylez:  Everyone has their own priorities and obviously your wedding isn’t theirs. You are not asking them to do much and it isn’t like it will take a huge chunk of their day. Honestly, I would say, “Given how difficult getting dress measurements have been, I am not confident that we will have a positive experience with future wedding events that may take more of a time commitment. I’d love for you to attend my wedding as a guest but I think it is best for both of us if you are not a BM.”

Life is too short to be stressed and they are taking away from your happiness. No, thanks. You shouldn’t have to keep chasing them. It is not worth it. Spend your special day with the folks who actually want to be there and help you!

Post # 11
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Barbiestylez:  It was hard for me to get my girls measurments even though they chose the dress together…I got them all within a month though and it really only took them 5 minutes if not less. However they also need a down payment right? If you asked me for my measurments this soon before the wedding then I would be more than happy to help but putting half down on a dress that expensive could make me hesitant. Can you get a custom made dress from esty? That is what we did and the girls paid 60 dollars tops! It would probably be hard for them to tell you they can’t pay so they could just be avoiding it all together.

Post # 14
Member
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Barbiestylez:  Agreed. Quality friends are hard to find. My siblings drive me bonkers but they are my true friends I can always count on. My sister would never pull that crap on me!

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