- 7 years ago
This is inspired by cherrycoke’s thread about guys who have “the one that got away” –The women before us that our SO’s felt were special.
As Mr. Tattoo pointed out in that thread, just because you had a strong (perhaps stronger) connection with someone else before your DH/FI/BF, it doesn’t make the love you share together any less. I believe this is true.
Truth be told, I have always wanted to ask this question on here, but have been too chicken to ask due to some recent attitude problems and attacks towards people. I don’t want to be judged, and I don’t want any of you to think lesser of me, but I have a “one that got away.”
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE (and I mean truly, TRULY LOVE) my Boyfriend or Best Friend very much, but I find myself thinking about my ex pretty frequently. Most of the time it’s angry thoughts, because I’m so upset with how he treated me and how the relationship went and ended (which helps me realize that it really just wasn’t a right fit for us), but sometimes I find myself thinking, “Why didn’t he pick me? Why was I not good enough for him?”
I would never give up what I have with my boyfriend, but my love for the other jerk was a lot stronger and much deeper. It’s not that I don’t want that with my Boyfriend or Best Friend, it’s just not like it was with X. Most of those strong feelings of love translated into hurt and hate, but it was love that it steamed from, the kind of love that you would literally do anything for.
I don’t know if that experience with my EX led me to be more guarded, thus prohibiting me from experiencing that with anyone else after him, but it just hasn’t been there (and I’ve dated a few men after him). I also don’t know if it’s because I was so young and so emotional (I was 17-19), but it messed me up pretty good.
What I have with my Boyfriend or Best Friend is the best I’ve had with anyone (aside from the ex). It’s amazing really. I wonder if because I’m not so desperate to constantly save our relationship (like I always was with the EX), my feelings aren’t so desperate and perhaps those desperate feelings translated to love for me….I don’t know…Either way, he’s the one that got away.